The FAMILY GUY
Peter:"There'a a message in my Alphabits! It says "oooooooo"."
Brian:"Peter, those are Cheerios."
Peter: "Everybody I've got bad news. We've been cancelled."
Lois: "Oh no Peter! How could they do that?"
Peter: "Well unfortuantely Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule.
We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows
like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls,
Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking
Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello,
The Lone Gunmen, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh
Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer,
The Tick, Louie, And Greg The Bunny...."
Lois: "Is there no hope?"
Peter: "Well I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might
have a shot."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch."
-Stewie
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
"Uh... I sometimes
wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, "My
God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"
-Stewie
"Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"
-Brian
"Holy Crip! He's a Crapple!"
-Peter
"What kind
of bunny did you want? A semi automatic bunny? Or a handheld bunny?"
-mob store
clerk
"Shut up you big sack of dog vomit"
-Meg
"Alright Joe!! Way to earn that parking space!!"
Peter
Dear MacGyver, enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip and a drinking
straw, please save my dog.
- Peter
Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
-Stewie
Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems
so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind
your ears that would ring a few bells.
You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know.
Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
-Stewie
"Hey, Peter, it's seven o'clock and you've still got your pants on.
What's the occasion?"
-Brian
Gosh, I'd like to help you, Peter, but I've got to go out in the hall
and chew on the back of my ass for about five minutes.
-Brian
Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in
the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over
on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god
Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all
fairness, Star Trek was here first.
-Peter