As
heard in "The Truth" (season nine, ep 19) the alien invasion is
TODAY! BRING YOUR MITTENS!
XXX
I've
always wanted my own **kingdom**. The Kingdom of Gizness.
Yes.
"oh,
geez, I can hear the slash pens a-poppin now!!!"
(on the ending of the XF I Want To
Believe movie)
I DVR TLCs What Not To Wear and have nightmares of Stacy and Clinton coming to my house and trashing allllll my X-Files T-shirts.
Don't know if I ever told you guys, years ago, we had twins down our street named Fox and Fawn. This was a pre-X-Files named Fox but one of my early ATXF friends named her baby boy "Fox" in '96. She SAID it was not because of the show, "we just like the name", but his name was Fox **Alexander* *, and I said "Why didn't you just name him Mulder Krycek and get it over with"
"This book is dedicated to those last twenty pounds; I don't miss you **one bit** you stuborn bitches!!"
THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN THE FANG CAMP!!!!
Elephants are BIG--way bigger than the two deer I JUST missed hitting this morning. The second one actually touched the bumper of my car; scared the fuck out of me. And this was RIGHT HERE, on my high traffic, suburban strip-mall road. I have no idea where these things came from, unless they were at Kohl's early bird sale....
Oh, dear god, it has CRAMPED BUTTONS!!!
Hey, did you guys know that the lusciousness that is MITCH PILEGGI is on that new F/X motorcycle gang show? I watched the promo and kept rewinding and replaying his intro. I get wet when he says his own name. That man is sex on a stick.
co-worker <sneering>: So,
your
boy is a sex addict, huh?
gizzie: That's what I heard; tell
you what, when you go out to your car at lunchtime for your noon coke
hit,
I'll go with you and we'll discuss it.....
And then there's that whole faction that has always dissed Tea--"spastic stringbean" stuck in my head like a bad jujubee from a long-ago flame war on atxf.
I also just got told "I am NOT a gun-wielding nut job, I merely support the CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT for someone to BE a gun wielding nut job"
My post-menopausal squidger has ruptured....
007 franchise... .Batman franchise... .remakes of
remakes.....
The time--2020.
The movie (in surroundRealityvisi on)--The X-Files: The Truth Is Full
of
Shit
Fox Mulder--Zack Efron
Dana Scully--Camila Cyrus (aka "Miley", now using
a "mature" name)
Krycek--Joseph Jonas
Skinner--Dwayne Johnson
CSM-- Luke Perry
Byers--Shia LaBeouf
Langly-- Jesse McCartney
Frohike--Seth Rogen
Bill Mulder--David Duchovny
Maggie Scully--Gillian Anderson
I'm just sayin'.....
Foscused fans I personally know, with the exception of one
guy,
really liked it (not one LOVED it) The guy who did not like it at
all bitched and moaned abourt everything from the lack of explosions to
the overly long credits to get to The Big Kiss Off (but this guy does
not
like anything, even himself, so...)
Lists I'm on were pretty evenly divided between LOVED IT!! (the
'shippers) and "It wa ok, but I could have done wiothoput all the
schmoop"
(noromos) Ditto atxf, although pone LONG time very popular poster
totaly shockd me by declaring it a "total waste of time--adn CC has
really
lost it". This woman HAD a CC love website at one time. I
only
know two nonfams who saw it (with a fan), both liked the story but did
not know why the people they wer wtih slid out of their chairs durign
the
Mulder/Scully scene. One asked a lot of questions, my favorites
"Their
son? Wait, were they married?" "Why is she being so pissy
when
she TOLD him about this case?" "OMG, who is that guy??? And
why are you drooling? ..... What's slash?"
I was the first (and only) on My List to see it opening weekend; my
list is compromised of old atxf regulars, pretty evenly split between
'shippers
and noromos, although I am the ONLY one who is a 'shipper AND a slasher
(I see UST EVerywhere.. .) I told them I did not think the movie was
'shippy,
I
think it very naturally picked up six years later, showing, without
fanfare, that they have been **unhappily* * together for years. Who
else
would have Mulder?? Or Scully and that puss?? I really really feel they
are what they are. Understated. Comfortable. Happy/miserable. I liked
that,
and, as a 'shipper, am quote satisfied with what I saw and satisfied
that
they are not going to "give up". And as a slasher, I am sure Skinner
and
Mulder got reaquainted in some warm, snuggly place moments after the "I
got you--" scene. That Mulder. He's such a whore...
MEDUSA: It's good to share the love,
and
the cocktails! Although I prefer a nice Merlot.
GIZ: LIFE IS A CABERET, OLD FRIEND, COEM
TO THE CAVBERET!@!! !
(gee, and all this time I've been going to the boring old cabaret...)
Me and the EP were reading mine and laughing and
LAUGHING.
Wierdness is, I don't remember most of these. When I voiced that,
he said
"oh, come on, you couldn't have been drunk through ALL of these--they
typing would show it."
LISBY: Old fans are going to it
expecting
that through the magic if celluloid, it will be 1995 all over again.
GIZ: Oh, good lord, if that had happend,
my boobs would be pointing in the right direction again...
I watched the whole series on DVD in one big BINGE a few summers
back,
and it was better than a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
-on Sex and The City
SOMEONE: "A Belgian...huh? "
GIZ: "TerVURen."
SOMEONE: "What?"
GIZ: "Tervuren--it' s French for 'bean
dog' "
gizzie
pays homage to 1st Terv, TinaBeana
"If she's in the right position, when you look down, you'll
see
the top of her head."
"I can't see her, my boob is in the way."
gizzie and Allie train for Novice Obedience
I just burped maple syrup.That is all.
The sweeper belt just snapped. And you have to take this whole
friggin' housing off to change the belt. "What's wrong with your bacuum
sweeper?"
"It don't suck."
I look like I got a cold hand to the crotch, but Allie looks great.
The time: February, 1999
The day: Sunday morning
The event: day two of Xeminar
The comment (by yours truly, of course,
walking
into the lecture hall and beholding allll the redheads): Gads--it
smells
like Miss Clairol in here...One of my best lines **ever** (and
earned
more than one dirty look)
I helped do a holiday set in the floral department of our store today, I was unwrapping these creepy caroling singer figurines, that ALL have their mouths opened in perfect oval-O's. I made a mixed tableau and christened it the Bridgeville Giant Eagle Blow Job Choir.
"Well, I'll be a blue nosed gopher..."
Way out there on the Triple R. Yippee yay, yippee yo,
The horses are the
best by far. Yippee yay, yippee yo.
So saddle up boys and saddle
up well,
And listen to the story
that I have to tell.
Yippee yay, yippee yi, yippee
yo...
<curtsey>
I called a long-ago FPF (Focused Phile Friend) with the greeting "Hello--this is a voice from your past, on this, the most high holy day in X-dom" And he hung up...
"Embrace the chicken."
<<HEY!! He's smelling my butt!">>
"He's supposed to do that; he's saying 'hi'. "
<<Well....can I smell HIS butt??>>
"Yes. It's how you make friends."
<<Oh. ::sniff sniff:: I think I'm gonna like it
here.>>
gizzie takes her dog Mulder to the
new dog park
...not an alcoholic, really...but plays one on the internet....
"I watched The Number 23 yesterday:
10/13 10 + 13 = 23
11/21 1+1+21 = 23
hmmmmmm....."
We were married in a civil ceremony by a Justice of the Peace (which basically consists of "Do you?" "Yes" "Do you?" "Yes." "Ok, you're married, kiss and I'll have a bourbon straight up......")
We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more, so it started filling up the rest of me.
"Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels" Whoever said that never had a Whopper with cheese....
Voe: All these benches help you work
the
various upper body muscle groups--this one triceps, this one delts and
traps---
gizzie: Which one will help me get my
boobs pointing back in the right direction???
Personal Training, lesson two
Voe: Good! Really good! Now, arch your
back and tighten **here**, you should feel it in--
gizzie: WAIT!!! Wait....that can't be
right. I just felt the gate slam shut on the playground.. ..
Personal Training, lesson four
"You want to concentrate on lean protein and healthy fats."
"What if I suck my thumb?? Isn't that both??"
gizzie and the nutritionist
... I always hoped for a sequel to The Jersey Devil, with the
kid--The
Jersey Li'l Devil--and a years-later follow-up to "The Calusari"
and it's cryptic ending "It is over for now. But you must be careful.
It knows you."
XXXXXXgizzieXXXXXX
(who remembers that quote, but could not remember where she parked
her car at the shopping center yesterday... .)
50 year old sister-in-law : "....and **I'm** getting braces on
my teeth!"
brother-in-law : "And she better enjoy them--they're costing
$6,000!"
gizzie <and Jim Beam> : "Jesus, Peg--for $6,000, wouldn't
you rather have tits??? "
-Christmas Eve in gizneyland
diet specialist: I don't want you obsessing over numbers, over how
many
pound lost.
gizzie: I really don't care what I **weigh**. I want to be fit, I want
to feel good and I have some things I want to fit back into--like my
car....
customer: Do you know where the Slim Fast is?
gizzie: Do I **look**like I know where the Slim Fast is?
one fine day at the Bridgeville Giant Eagle
"Manatee, COME!!!"
"Now, I have some advice for anyone contemplating spending a whole day in a bathing suit--don't do it. Take the time to change between activities. The problem is--ATITP--when you just put your clothes on over your suit, and you have to pee, you have to take your shirt off first, then yank your shorts down, THEN struggle with the suit (struggle, because your legs are bound together by the half-mast suit...) by the time you get everything pulled down, you're dribbling... ."
"That was also the convention where the famed Tampongate Break-In
occured...."
-dont you wish you were there....
"What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?"
"Fake, fake, fake and fake."
Here <pat, pat>....come sit beside Aunt giz.......
Customer: "Jesus...why is this goat
chees
so **expensive**???"
gizzie: "Did you ever milk a
goat??
They don't much like it."
Being a hip[pie is likeew bein g Catholic, you alway s
ARE,weven
if you dopn;t practice anymoiere. You may quote me.
XXXXXXXXgizzieXXXXXXXX (wquite drumk)
My husband installed mini surround-sound speakers on the bookcases in here tonight; they are black rectangles with side-mounted chrome feet and they look like little Nazi storm troopers. I am afraid of them.
" I am pretty damn sure I am the first person in history to put Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper on Vanilla Creme Frosted Mini Wheats."
Question and answer session....(at a
convention)
Bombshell: "I'm an
actress...."
Ingenue: "I'm an actress...."
Legs-To-There: "I'm an actress...."
Avant Garde: "I'm an actress and
a writer...."
Only-Guy-In-The-Place: "I'm a director...."
Smirking Snob: "I'm a writer..."
GIZ: "I'm not
a writer, but I play one on the interent...."
"One electric blue sock decorated with pink flying pigs. Sadly missed by it's mate of eighteen months. If found, please return to--"
"I don't know--you really have to be careful with these dates with people you meet on the internet. I had a date with this really nice guy, we had a great time, but at the end of the evening, I stole his wallet."
"Gadzooks, I can hear the slash pens a poppin' already....."
"The true miracle of Christmas is that we don't all just go nuts."
"...he's so cute he makes my eyeballs burn..."
LET ME <bump> ENTERTAIN YOU!!!
LET ME <bump> MAKE YOU SMILE!
"I'm not an asshole, but I play one on the internet."
"I think it's almost there."
"Grab it--GRAB IT, don't let it slip!"
"Push it harder!"
<grunt>
"I can't get it in right!"
"I think it's hung up on that elbow."
"Try....eaaaase it in. Wait.....ok......THERE!
I think.....is it in?"
"Fuck."
"Use the lube."
<gizzie
falling out of the chair>
" He was struck dumb by the sight of Skinner, indeed bedecked in tight black jeans and a muscle-hugging navy blue Henley, standing in the middle of the crowded living room, arms outstretched, with a child hanging from each bicep. A woman who had to be Scully's sister-in-law was sitting directly behind Skinner, unabashedly ogling his butt in open-mouthed admiration."
....and a child's point of view "He likes that
big
guy with no hair, though. I'm...kind of afraid of him. He's
scary.
He talks
like he has jujubees stuck in his teeth."
-describing Casual!Skinner, back in The Day...
"Ya know the other day, when you were making me laugh? I wasn't
kidding--I
really DIDN'T hide your Buffy DVDs"
"That's OK, I didn't get any thing done this week, anyway"
"What'd you do all week?"
"Pissed around on the computer, mostly. It was like 1998, but
with less people--like cyber masturbation."
-The Giz and the EP--discussing her vacation
week
"All you guys think about is sex, food and sports--if they invent a refrigerator with a wide-screen tv and a vagina, we're all doomed."
(not a porn spam, but plays one on the internet)
-explaining all those XXXXs...
"So sorry was my mom for saying "What kind of apples should I get?",
because then, I had to do a fashion show with them."
(adds: "looks best in Gala red, and like
shit
in Granny Smith green")
"The Truth is out there-it's just really, really whacked."
"I wire-cut and wrapped 60lbs of various blues today and I swear,for
the next three days, my hands will smell like I was touching myself
...."
(has Stilton in the lace-eyes of her shoes)
"Yee gads, my titties just frizzled up into walnuts just reading
that....."
apparently doesn't do cold well...
"MOMMY!!!! Amanda's making fun of my sluttiness again!!!!"
Model train sets are like breasts--they're designed for little kids, but grown men like to play with them."
"Be careful with mixing those red dyes. I was going for Season Five/Fight the Future Scully and got Kelly, the Irish Setter down the street. Beats Bozo, though..."
"naghover...heh...I slay me!"
"Work is a slice of your life--it's not the entire pizza."
"I thought this was a low-impact class?"
"It is--when you hit the floor, they step **over** you, instead of
**on** you..."
explains aerobics
"Right now in America, a drunk topless woman sits at her computer with her near-blind dog nearby, craving a fat joint and talking to electrons she knows as friends."