Séan and Bob discussing how Mari-Mac is a tongue-twister song,
and how they speed it up to the extreme.
Séan: "So we win the race."
Bob: "We have the fastest tongues!"
Alan: "We're going to stop the show for a minute. Séan has to
tie his shoe."
Séan kneels down and gives audience a sheepish look.
Alan: "We'll be back in 15."
Alan: "We actually opened once for Barney (the dinosaur) at a kids festival on a Saturday afternoon. I forgot who the audience was, and after the first song asked "Is everyone still hung-over from last night?". The children were puzzled, and the parents pissed off."
"Ask us back!"
-Alan
"We've got naked pictures of Sean McCann..."
-Alan
"...the Regina girls got loaded drunk....and as long as the bottle was
passed around, Bob and Alan were feeling gay...."
-Sean, rewriting 'The Night That Patty Murphy Died
Alan: "Of
course, we translated the entire repertoire of Great Big Sea into the Polish
language."
Séan: "They don't believe us. Not for a second."
Alan: "They didn't even find that funny."
Séan: "No, not even mildly amusing that."
Séan: "I wanted to call it 'Séan McCann and his buddies', but the guys didn't go for that at all."
Séan: "We're going to have a sociable ladies and gentlemen. In order to have a sociable, all you have to do is raise your glasses into the air. If you don't have a glass, please raise your right arm into the air. If, for some reason, you have no right arm, raise your left leg into the air. And, if you've already been drinking, try raising both legs now."
Alan: "To my right ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce to you a gentleman who most recently got back from the Eastern-States tour with the Chippendales. He's available for table and lap dancing immediately after the concert. From Outer Cove, Newfoundland, Darrell Power right here."
Alan: "Oh, McCann, you are a girly man. You are nuttin' but a girly man."
Séan: "We're not that fast."
Alan: "Easily distracted."
Séan: "We plugged it all in, and turned the volume on plus, and Alan blew his own shorts right off."
Séan: "So, this is a song about how to bury a dead person. I'm great fun at parties, folks. Anytime."
Alan: "Did anyone see the Newfoundland colours fly by here, or was that
something I ate?"
Séan: "I thought MY clams were bad."
Alan: "Historical terms, it was actually used as an instrument to scare
away British people. So if there's any British people driving home, don't
be alarmed, this is just a demonstration."
-- talking about the Bodhran
Alan: "Rant and Roar just went Tinfoil in the US!"
Alan: "Shameless, self promotion is one of my fortes, actually."
Alan: "Want to know how to make a Newfoundlander squirm? Put him on
stage in front of his fans when he doesn't know what he's doing. Personal
note to self.....15 big rock beers before a concert is 15 too many!"
-- forgetting words to Rung of the Ladder
Alan: "He never knows what I'm going to say here." *pause* "Darrell Power, Master of the Art of Sensual Massage!"
Alan: "You can all stay at Séan's place. He's got two bedrooms.
Séan: "And a futon."
Alan: "Myself and Séan have admitted in the last few weeks to
having an inappropriate relationship."
Séan: "I thought we weren't going to talk about that."
Alan: "Sean's mike stand needs some Viagra. I hear he has that problem
a lot."
Séan: "I just need someone to cuddle and watch a video with
me."
--the top of Séan's mike stand gives way pointing towards
the floor...
How did the band get started? Alan: "Well. Bob and Darrell can actually
play and Séan is gorgeous and I had a van.”
Are they Irish? Alan: "In truth, we are one half Scottish and
one half Irish which means one half of us wants to get drunk all the time
while the other half doesn’t want to pay for it!"
Alan: "Do you like our shirts? We all went out and bought new shirts
this time. We'll be trading shirts for the rest of the tour. Tomorrow,
I plan to wear Darrell's shirt, Darrell and Bob will be trading the next
night."
Séan: "You don't get to have my shirt though."
Alan: "Séan is most handsome and has the best taste in shirts."
Séan: pause, while he searches for words..."Well, I've never
heard that one before!"
Alan: "You look a little down tonight, just wanted to cheer you up."
Séan: "Oh so I'm not funny enough tonight? Am I the 'not funny'
guy, then?"
Alan: “What a bargain! I do believe 9 dollars US is getting to be worth
more in Canadian dollars everytime! We’re selling t-shirts."
Séan: “Nice t-shirts for those who don’t want to dress like
Alan.”
Alan: "Hats, even socks, really thick ones, a real bargain. Oh and
inflatable dolls of the band... but Séan is sold out."
Séan: "Tell them what we did today."
Alan: "We saw a movie."
Séan: "Life is Beautiful."
Alan: "We saw Life is Beautiful. Myself and Séan got a table
for two. We shared some nachos and Séan pushed the last nacho over
to me. It was like a scene from Lady and the Tramp. Honest to God. He gently
pushed my hair back and said 'You know Alan, life is beautiful.'"
Séan: "The worst part was when Alan cried at the end."
Alan: "I bawled my face off. What can ya do?"
Alan, introducing his new 12-string: "There are lots more strings. I'll
get paid twice as much as his guitar." (referring to Séan's guitar)
"I think I'm going to call it Séan. I will curl up with it in my
bunk."
Séan: "Then you can beat on me all night long."
Alan: "Séan McCann! He plays the drum as well. The Sexiest Bodhran player on the planet, Séan McCann!"
Alan: "Ryan [of Guster] still has not been kissed by a Canadian woman. I have volunteered to kiss him myself, but he has declined, strangely. So if any of you would like to oblige him, so that I am not left as the sole representative of the female population of Canada...”
Séan: "I'm singing this for you, man."
Alan: "Wow... after six years! I'm touched."
Alan: "All four of us have degrees in English, which means we can do
absolutely nothing."
Séan: "We can spot double negatives from miles away."
Alan "Usually we play all ballads."
--having his first triple latté from StarBucks
Alan: "We had a great many sailors"
Séan: "Hello Sailor!"
Alan: "He knocks on the fair maiden's window to gain admittance to her
private parts...uhhh……her private *quarters*, her private *quarters*!!!!!"
Séan: "You're not allowed to introduce this song anymore."
Alan: "All right, enough singing about loves far away. Now we're going
to sing about loves present. And I love Séan McCann!"
Séan: "We're not singin' no love song now, eh? This song is
about death and people dying! If that's your idea of a love song, then
you're just a very strange person in a silly shirt. Anyway, this one goes
out to all you dead people."
Alan (on his shirt): "As many of you may have noticed already, we are
at odds within the band as to the dress code for performances."
Séan: "Does that shirt come with instructions for washing it,
or does it just go out on its own and come back clean?"
Alan: " We're taking requests tonight, just write them in the foam of a pint of Guiness and we'll do them."