Q:
"What was the only thing that remained in Pandora's Box after she
opened it?"
A: Joan Rivers ::laughing too
hard to answer::
Jm J. Bullock: "the
Bubble Packing"
Q.. Paul,
what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their
little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute
jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of
steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long
as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems
that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to
sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been
keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a
stranger
at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out
and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until
morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to
diminish
as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of
decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than
three words to say "I Love You?"
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say
it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and
"I Can't Get Enough?"
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but
it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to
gesture
more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more
growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never
forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon
wrinkles
too easily!
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not,
I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss
two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the
bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately
Peter,
I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights
out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will
wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years,
what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it
would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there
anything
wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out
of the army.
Q. While visiting China, your tour guide
starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo! What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected
part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused
but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa
put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his
mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period
of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about
my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is
responsible
for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him
the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that
he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two
occasions.
What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet
Q According to Ann Landers, what are two
things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh