House: "No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact,
a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate."

Wilson: "Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth."
House: "And triteness kicks us in the nads."
Wilson: "So true..."
House: "As long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want."
Wilson: "And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want."
House: "So between us, we can do anything. We can rule the world"

Wilson: "You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another.
Of course, in Swedish, the word "friend" can also be translated as "limping twerp"."

Wilson: "So your philosophy is, 'If they don't want treatment, they get it shoved down their throat,
but if it might cure their paralysis, whoa, better slow down'."
House: "Yeah. My old philosophy used to be 'Live and let live', but I'm taking this needlepoint
class and they gave us these really big pillows."
Wilson: "I forgot: I need a reason to give a crap."
House: "You're giving two craps."
Wilson: "The metric system always confuses me."

House: "Never is just reven spelled backwards."
Wilson: "Did your pager really just go off, or are you
ditching the conversation?"
House: "Why can't both be true?"
Cuddy: "Just enlarged hylar lymph nodes."
House: "Tiny unicorns goring his bronchial tubes would be cooler."

House: "Why's our rainbow coalition missing brown and bi?"
House: "He didn't have any reason to lie."
Wilson: "Everybody lies .... except politicians? House, I believe you're a romantic.
You didn't just believe him - you believed in him. You want to come over tonight
and watch old movies and cry? "
House: "21-year-old male, comes in with grinding of the teeth."
Wilson: "And House gives him a stroke, totally blows out his pupil."
Foreman: "You scared a guy into stroking out?"
Wilson: "Does that surprise anyone here?"

House: "Or you sprinkled too much wishful thinking into your tea."

House: "Every minute that we refuse to love one another, another puppy cries another tear."
Wilson: "You're just mad that he's closer to a Nobel Prize than you are."
House: "And yet I've nailed more Swedish babes. Crazy, crazy world."
Cameron: "How would you describe my leadership skills?"
House: "Nonexistent. Otherwise excellent."

Sex COULD kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex?
Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow,
the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland,
and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight.
It's violent. It's ugly. And it's messy. And if God hadn't made it UNBELIEVABLY fun,
the human race would have died out eons ago.--Dr. Cameron

House: "Wilson! How long can you go without sex?"
Wilson: "How long can you go without annoying people?"
House: "I'm a night owl, Wilson's an early bird. We're different species."
Cuddy: "Then move him into his own cage."
House: "Who'll clean the droppings from mine?"

House: "Welcome aboard the Good Ship Asskisser. Nice day for a sail. Pucker up, me hearties." 

House: "My mom didn't call Cuddy, she called you! I knew you couldn't stay away.
I knew you loved me too much."
Wilson: "I'm doing this for your mom."
House: "I'm not doing this at all. Join me on the dark side!"
Wilson: "I guess no one gets to choose who their parents are. I'm not sure anymore we even choose
who our friends are. I spoke with Cuddy, she hasn't filled my position yet."
House: " If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be okay with that."
Wilson: "I'm coming back because you're right. That strange annoying trip we just took
 was the most fun I've had since Amber died."
House: "You hungry?"

House: You're ORANGE, you moron! It's one thing for you not to notice,
but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.
Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins?
The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and figure it out.

Wilson: "What're you doing down here? Thought you usually have lunch with Coma Guy."
House: "This is Vegetative-state Guy. Better company."
Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

House: "You deduce that by removing your sunglasses to the strains of a Who song?"

Wilson: "How was your first day of school?"
House: "I didn’t pee once in the sandbox."

House: "He drilled a hole in your skull after drinking your pee. I think he's up for this."

House: "Ladies and Gentlemen! I have nothing in my hands, nothing up my sleeve. I do have something in my pants but that's not going to help with this particular trick..."

House: "I check this little box and your new roommates are Jesus and Crazy McLoonybin -- that guy never had a chance."

House: "Panty hamster get a spin on its wheel?"

House: "Okay, fine. I'll father your child. But first you gotta write me a Vicodin prescription. Just so I can get through the foreplay."

House: "Go up his rear and get a smear. Which reminds me, kinda feel like a bagel."

House: "Is this an intervention? You're a little late, since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics."

House: "Seizures are fun to watch, but boring to diagnose."

Wilson: "Oh my God. This is pathetic. Come on. I live across the street from lesbians who never close their curtains."
from  the House fic 'Derivating the Prime' by  Rageprufrock
 
 
 

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