Jae's Pheremoments...
Y'know that guy from the SHAMWOW! commercial? Someone needs to SHAMMURDER! him.
"It's called the corridor of Judgement for a reason..."
(on the non smoking area)
"You live where you have to have sex--it's the Vancouver rule."
(on moving)
"See, the reason we're asking is cos there's this Millenium Lube...and so we made the connection...did you say make the Kessel Run in, um, parsecs?"
"Everything happens for a reason...no, wait...anything can happen with a razor."
"I have the restraint of anna nicole in the ice cream isle."
"I've got volleyball tonight unless it rains--actually, it wouldn't be a bad thing if it did rain, cos I'm just not there--I'm not that guy."
"Don't cry cos it's over, smile cos it happened."
"Anything is edible if it's chopped finely enough."
"Last ball ever!"
"Math is hard! Let's go shopping!"
(trying to figure out in his head how fast you'd
have to fly to keep the sun in the same place all the time)
"I need a flogger!"
"Bitch won't play!"
"You're so on the short leash now!"
(fun with the significant other!)
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."
"ACHTUNG!!!! Alles Lookenspeepers! Das Computenmachine is
nicht
fur gerfingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist
easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen, und poppencorken
mit spittzensparken. Ist nicht fur gerwerken by das
dummkopfen.
Das Rubbernecken sightseern keepen hands in das pockets - Relaxen und
watch
das blinkenlights.
-dispensing German computer advice!
"Meh! I'm such a letch magnet!"
"Happy Valentine's Day--fuck a stranger!"
"Wow, that sounds just like an episode of the X-Files, only interesting."
"What did you call these again? Ass-blasters?"
-shooter bartender extraordinaire
"Which flag were you carrying again? The beastiality and felching one?"
"Is he the one with the glasses?"
-trying desperately to understand
"If love is a game, most people have just experienced a shut-out."
"Don't think I'll be doing that again..."
"Fate is just a blind man's word for consequence."
"Dammit, Carl!"
-uses this line whenever things get sketchy
"Go go gadget personality!"
"Do you know how to get cheese slices out of a
vcr?"