SPENCER: "What's that noise dad?"
JAMIE: "That's the sound of suck."
Dancers. Hes the mop-boy.
-on Beaudry's new job
I test the ladies for bounciness.
-on his own new job
“Would that be front to back or back to front?"
(when told that new agents have problems using the time cards--you
know, 'swiping' them)
"That's the most disgusting thing I've said at work in a long time."
(see above)
The tentative schedule (barring fire, firing, act of god yadda yadda yadda) will be as follows. If you have any questions I can be reached at 1-800- ON-THE-FLOOR.
There are doughnuts and possibly even some donuts at the Res desk desk. They are intended for RSD, M&P, and the commitment team and possibly we could let Ryan and Dani split one. If anyone sees any happy-handed supervisors/Production eps/Quality/HR/Training/Janitorial/Random passersby/pterodactyls/ninjas/ pirates/zombies/Sask Party members/space aliens/ certain unmentionable Presidents of Certain unmentionable Countries or Batman trying to accost our bounty please feel free to terminate them bodily or otherwise.
Spencer eats cat hairballs all the time.
-Jamie Karr, child nutritionist
"Everyone knows you can't have three tops! Someone's got to be the bottom!"
(see Aaron J.'s comments)
"That Anne of Green Gables is hot! I'd throw her down in that lush P.E.I. soil for sure--she'd be scrubbing red dirt out of her britches for a long time!"
"We've decided
no more humping, except in the dark."
-on getting
glasses
GREG: Take 'er easy.
JAMIE: If she's easy, take 'er twice.
"My clown wig is crooked!"--getting ready to go to work
"That shirt would look good on...the hood of a Trans Am."--sweet talking Hagen
"Can I get one of those special Laurence Neufeld massages?"
"The new ball-cocks are smaller."--plumbing woes
"Hey Sarge, where are your privates?"
(to supervisor Shane Sargent)
"Was he training 'Steamy Three way 101'?"
"What does a cow say, Spencer? 'I wanna free flip phone!'"
-bonding with the baby
"Oh, you're a Cingular customer? I'm sorry, you've reached 'Bingular'. Let me transfer you."
"Nice windbreaker, Grandpa."
JAMIE: Who's text messaging you at work?
HAGEN: My old lady.
JAMIE: You can't text message on a Firefly!
"Do you require a wide mouth bass, or a small mouth bass?"
-to Mike B
"If you can upset someone from New Hampshire, you know you've done something great!"
"....fresh off the propaganda truck...."
-on new signage at work
"Is your grandmother cheap?"
"Being so manly and all, I'd go for the spikes--I'm not into balls..."
(talking about Troy's earrings....really)
"Hey! No taking calls over there! If you take a call, they're gonna expect us *all* to take calls!"
I just made you say cocktail weenies three times in a minute!
"Take your time; we get paid by the hour."
"Grippy is my favorite type of pen...next to feather quill."
"Hey, how come this place uses number ones for
dollar signs?"
a little surprised at Alfredos prices...
"Who gave you that heroin?"
educating a customer
"What'll happen? You might learn something. Or you might fall asleep."
"We're not in Britain--you can't just be throwin' around the 'luvs' and the 'guvnors' like nobody's business."
"You're a real desk slut, aren't you?"
"I am a bitter angry Jamie today."