EVERYBODY LOVES....
JIMINY LICKIT!

I've declared a bubble of Saskatchewan around me. Say "cunt" as often as you like this year.

MITCHELL: (on votive candle) Maybe if I light it on fire I'll stop playing with it.
JIMINY: Does it work on your cock?

"I am so conflicted. I am 1/2 German, 1/2 Jewish--I don't know whether to set the oven at 400 degrees or jump in myself."

"Aw...you put your teeth in."

"Vas goot to see drag qveen last night; too bad she sucked."
-the accent is integral

"Oh! Nigel....and my last name shall be Longbottom."
-finding a name worthy of the Hamptons

Oh, that's right, you were Anne's half. Well, really you were more of a hole.
-to Stephanie

 Look, it's Salami and the dance of the seven whales!

"Look at you in your crotchless pantihose! Who do you think you are, a Filipino stripper?"

"I can be prejudiced when I want to be, and that's OK-K-K with me."

 It comes out the snout?  It looked like it comes out the ass.

(After seeing Jasmine Whore-Moan in a negligee):  Victoria's Secret my ass.  Try Pandora's Box!

Don't treat your mother like that! She's an alcoholic. Let her go!

on playing  Cranium: Listen carefully,  Cuntahontas, I'm Drunk!

  I've decided to rewrite the dictionary. Now every word starts with a capital F.

You'd look fabulous in the right light- OFF!

"Oh, it'll be faboo! It will be Fab-U-Lous! Starts with a capital F. It's in my dictionary. Look it up."

back/home/quotes