WHAT A (J.D.) RUSH!


My only fear is that earlgreytea68 is going to take a page out of Goddess Michele's "Let's Destroy Joelle with Angst" book and do something awful to one (or more) of these characters.

  I mean, really Michele.  Sometimes I feel like Mycroft, chasing after you and cleaning up your messes.  But this is one mess I don't think I can fix.  Did you break all your toys when you were a little Goddess, too? 

Still no sighting of Ben or the dragon, but yes, I did a fangirl *meep* when he mentioned the Battle of the Five Armies.  Thank you for asking.
 
Met up with Simon Pegg: Bank Manager again today.  Almost asked if he wanted to share a Cornetto, but thought it sounded too suggestive.

I'll, um, I guess I'll be over in the corner, quietly sobbing.
(in reaction to this story description: Summary: Castiel, pregnant with Dean's child, finds him with another person and runs away. While being chased by demons he runs to hide in a strange blue box and finds himself whisked away by the Doctor and River. Meanwhile back with the Winchesters Sam calls an old friend to help them find Cas. Along the way they meet the infamous Sherlock Holmes, his past partner Jack Harkness, and end up having to raise Lucifer from the cage. No one ever said loving the Angel of Thursday was going to be easy, but come on!)

Oh, I can see we're going to get on like gravy on cheese curds
 

XXX  

Okay--douche canoe is fantastic!  Right up there with asshat, which is one of my personal favourites.

I wonder sometimes who's spinning faster in their grave--Tolkien or Sir Arthur.

Personally, I'd take gay marriage and free health care over t*tty bars any day of the week.  But perhaps that's just me.

If I may paraphrase Sherlock here, "Don't talk, Yahoo--you lower the IQ of the whole internet."

 Talking to Ben must be like visiting the Louvre--you can't do it all in just one visit.

Of course, now I've got images of him reading The Hobbit to his own little boy or girl, and doing the dragon, and I'm simultaneously all soppy and broody and turned on as all hell.  Probably not a good way to have to get through the work day. 

Awesome photos are awesome.  No, they need a better word.   How about Skipbrilliant!  No, that's already been used.  Clutch!  Oh, wait--I panicked there.  Well, I'll think of something. 
 
OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE MAY IS FINALLY HERE  AND STAR TREK IS COMING TO THE CINEMA AND I'M GOING TO GET TO GO TO CANADA IN THREE WEEKS AND MEET THE FREAKING GODDESS AND WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THE MOVIES AND SEE BENEDICT "I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY OWN GOOD" CUMBERBATCH ON THE BIG SCREEN AND I'M GOING TO GET TO DO ALL KINDS OF CANADIAN THINGS ALTHOUGH I DON'T QUITE KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I DON'T CARE AND. . .AND. . .

Just spent an hour talking to a bank manager who looked like Simon Pegg. 
 
So I've added a new item to my bucketlist. . .have Sir Ian officiate at my wedding. (now I just have to find a potential groom. Wonder what Benedict is doing this weekend. . .)

That line made me go a little squishy inside, which I think is probably a bit not good.
(on the new Star Trek trailer)
 
"Your comment about 'some girlfriends may have shifted during the flight' almost made me fall off my chair.  If your 'mind Comedy Store' has an open-mike night, I would gladly pay the two-drink minimum to get in."

"You know what I need?  A tall, dark, handsome Brit to sweep me off my feet and ask me to help him solve crimes.  Where can I get me one of those?"

It's going to be a fantastic 20-Benteen!  (I made that up. . .should I copyright it?)

"I just can't get over how someone so adorable and humble can play these troubled, arrogant geniuses so well.  I guess that's why it's called acting."

"BTW--did I tell you that I noticed this morning, when I was packing up my car with 'storm supplies' that my little shovel was made in Canada?  I feel much safer because when it comes to snow, you guys know what you're doing!"

 "I'm telling you--five days without tumblr, and I was about ready to start shooting up the living room walls"

How does Amanda live with all that cuddly rage?  Lucky lady. . .
(on Martin Freeman)

Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.  Just relax.  Everything's going to be fine.  You've traveled before, you know what you're doing.  You're going to arrive safely and then. . . 
OHMYGOD YOURE GOING TO BE IN LONDON IN ENGLAND AND OH GOD YOURE GOING TO SEE SHERLOCK BEING FILMED AND YOU MIGHT MEET BENEDICT I'M A SEXGOD CUMBERBATCH AND YOU'LL GET A CHANCE TO OFFER HIM A CIGARETTE AND A GIN AND TONIC AND HE'LL GIVE YOU A HUG AND HE'LL SMELL SOOOOOOOOO GOOD THAT YOU MIGHT NOT SURVIVE THE EXPERIENCE AND I HATE YOU WITH THE RED HOT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS AND AND. . . 
And I'm totally calm now.  As I was saying, you're going to be fine.

 I don't really hate you with the red hot intensity of a thousand suns.  But if I turn any more green with envy, people are going to think I'm a head of lettuce.

I'll just say that if Billie Joe Armstrong is a demon, he can possess me anytime.

With the exception of "The Soup", I can literally feel the IQ points sliding out of my ears when I stumble onto E! 

Oh, you KNOW those two hooked up and closed down the party after the show!  I can just picture a slighty tipsy Ben-- after his 2-hour turn on the dancefloor--collapsing in a chair at her table, and singing snippets of "Rolling in the Deep" with her while she showed him baby pictures on her iPhone.

I just can't get over the thought that Ben probably has Professor Hawking's number on speed-dial. . .and he's asked by a Hollywood 'reporter' if he's met Robert Downey Jr.  because they play the same fictional character. Welcome to America, Benny.  *hangs head in shame* 

A "one-man" weapon of mass destruction. . . . Then again, Ben has a lot of experience with that. . .well, at least when it comes to fangirl ovaries at any rate. 

 I was rolling my eyes so badly by the end I was afraid I'd be able to permanently see out the back of my head!

Seriously, I'm like Sherlock without his nicotine patches right now! 

 She's got a WIP right now, Under the Silver Moon, that's omega-werewolf, and it shouldn't work, it REALLY shouldn't work, but it really does....I'm embarrassed I just admitted that now.

Did someone not have her coffee yet this morning?
(mocking the Goddess, who might have been having an off day...)

Where oh where were you a couple of years back when my boss would force me to attend. . .ahhhh, I mean invite me. . . to her annual Christmas cookie exchange? 

I just want to feed him tea and biscuits, give him a big hug and tuck him into a nice warm cozy bed.  (come to think of it, that's what I want to do with Ben, too, . . .um. . .I think I've said too much.)

 “Today, I ‘harpooned’  ‘Sally Donovan’.  It was an experiment for the case of ‘the striped’ ‘mug’.

 I shiver at the thought of the Hobbit insanity that's coming.

Dear Benedict,  I apologize on behalf of my countrymen (and women).  They can name a dozen Kardashians, yet you still remain a mystery.I am truly embarrassed to be an American.
 
Wait until it's Sherlock vs. Neal.   Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. No, wait--there's where I want to get Ben, but well. . .you know what I mean.

Oh god, please warn me when you're going to do something like that!  I had seen that entry this morning and couldn't scroll down over it fast enough.  Just slightly less horrifying than finding out that apparently they're going to release a line of clothing based on the book, "50 Shades".   As my hero, Joel McHale said, "Great.  Just what this country needs--ass-less mom-jeans."
 
Between the lame crossovers, the lamer gender-switches, the sudden infactuation with BDSM, the excessive amount of WIP's and the inexplicable glut of MorMor stories, it's becoming quite a challenge.
 
Now I'm starting to sound like those old farts. . ."That Sherlock fandom. . .it was so much better in MY day!'

And while it's great Ben is doing readings all over the UK, I wish he was doing them all over me.  I mean, here!  Here.  All over here.   (damn Freudian slip!) 

Then again, maybe I'm just getting old.  And if that's the case, I'll leave the tentacle fics to the younger set, and stick with my bees.

    I believe his masterplan of 'destroying every female on the planet' is on schedule.

This fandom is not going to be happy until I am kicking up daisies, is it?  Just when I think it can't get any more amazing, fantastic, incredible, someone pulls something like this out of their hat.

"You DO know if he actually pulls this one out of his hat that you and I WILL be there.  I don't care when.  I don't care how.  We WILL be in that audience together totally losing our collective fangirl shit. END OF!"
on Ben bringing Frankenstein to Broadway

"You drool." 
"I do not."
"Sherlock, you totally do." 
"Well, you snore." 
"That may be. . .but you still drool."
--writing the missing scene from Scandal

 "Oh?  You're renting 'Backside to the Future'?  I heard it got two thumbs up.  I won't say where."
suddenly reliving her video-store clerk days.  

I especially loved the "Yes, that's my real name--what is with you people?"  Just once, I wish he'd snark back like that, but of course he won't because he's just such a sweet, polite, well-bred British lad--so he'll smile and laugh, and make another comment about being 'horse-faced and arse-named', apologize to his mum yet again, and end up feeling self-conscious for the rest of the night until Gary and Colin drag him off to the Vanity Fair after party and get him sloshed on voddy and tonics, and he does a bit of his signature 'running man' dance which hopefully ends up splashed all over YouTube on Monday morning.
-on Ben attending the Oscars

Oh, I think they knew.  Or at least Mark did.  I can just see it--him and Martin and Ben and Ian, all hanging out with the dogs, getting totally pissed on gin and tonics, and Martin would have said, "You know what would be f**ing hilarious?  If you put the f**ing TARDIS out in the f**ing moors and blow up f**ing tumblr again."  And Ben would have fallen off the couch laughing  (but amazing, not spilling his drink because he's a pro, after all), and Mark would have been, "Yes, YES!  Briliant idea!"  and Martin would have gone, "Of COURSE it's f**ing brilliant!  I have a f**ing BAFTA!" and Ian would have calmly asked, "Are you sure Steve will go along with it, luv?" and Mark would have winked and said, "He'll only be jealous he didn't think of it first."
-on a Hound production shot where it looks like the TARDIS has landed on the Moors

Ironically, my mom--who NEVER watches award shows--put on the pre-game. . .ahh, I mean, the red-carpet show on NBC Sunday night.  I asked her what the heck she was doing, and she said, "Maybe your friend is there."  (Apparently Benedict and I are now 'friends'.  How Benny is that?)

    Hmmm. . .tall, dark-haired, exotic-looking, well-dressed handsome oddball genius.  Shorter, slightly less-genius (but still quite intelligent) doctor trailing after him, solving mysteries, and able to put up with all his little idiosyncrasies, surrounded by a smoldering atmosphere of UST.  And the older, by-the-book law-enforcer who tries to keep the genius in line (with some help from the doctor.)  Oh, and let's not forget the dark-haired, mysterious psychotic criminal mastermind who wants to possess the genius or destroy him, whichever comes first.     Mulder, Scully, Skinner and Krycek?  or Sherlock, John, Lestrade and Moriarty? Gee, no WONDER we fell in love with "Sherlock". 

I am flailing.  Really.  Ignore everything I ever said about spoilers.  Spoil the hell out of me.  I don't care anymore.  Bring it the hell on.  This.  THIS.  I just. . .I'm not even making sense anymore and I don't flipping care.  Just give me more Sherlock and give it to me NOW!

It's Three-Continents Watson vs. The Creature in the battle of the decade!  (suddenly I'm all a-tingle.)

Yeah, that tea on my work monitor?  That's all your fault, young lady!

I think it's great that he's not going in with just this idea of "Me Smaug.  Me dragon.  Me mean.  Must kill hobbit."

He just looks so serious and intense, concentrating on thinking up just the right words to sound intelligent and insightful. . .and then he opens his mouth and the moment is over as every word he's ever learned fights its way out.

He wants his parents to come down and visit him so that they can travel the islands together?  Really, Ben?  REALLY?  That is one of the sweetest, sexiest things I've ever heard.   Just stop it.  You don't have to prove your awesomeness any more.  You have officially ruined it for the rest of humanity!

I have now officially run out of words to describe Ben's awesomeness. 

He could narrate a history of ancient Roman sewer systems and it’d be freaking amazing and interesting and must-see-TV. (on Ben  narrating  Rattigan)

"It didn’t make me want to own one.  It made me want to BE one."--on Benedict Cumberbatch holding an iPad

John (Barrowman) would steal Ben's sparkly shoes faster than you can say, "Hey!  John just stole Ben's sparkly shoes!"

"Strong thighs.  Ben.  Okay.  Yeah.   Thanks for short circuiting my brain there, Michele."

John Barrowman is so manly that he has to be gay to level the playing field.

Well, at least we now know why he's late all the time. . .he's gotta have pie.

I mean, we are talking about Benedict fuckyeah Cumberbatch!  I don’t care what color hair he has.  Hell, he was bald and covered in scars and stitches and I STILL wanted to shag him six ways from Sunday.

I admire your dedication. . .converting all of Canada to the Church of Cumberbatch, one person at a time.   I'm so proud of you.  Keep up the good work!

I've got a feeling I'm going to be an utter spazzola.  Might be better if I see it by myself. . .it'll be real embarrassing when the ushers escort me out.
(on The Hobbit)

I love how Ben had to decide and confirm his choice.  I can just picture him rambling on about acting and Rattigan and sparkly shoes and wanting a pocket Martin and 'damn good shags' and his latest political rally and what a great lover he is and his save-the-puppies campaign, his hands fluttering all over the place until he gets that deer-in-the-headlights look and asks, "Um, what was the question again?"
(on asking Cumberbatch what his favorite cheese is)

I'd say that maybe it's because he's already worked with them, so he's comfortable with them.  Or that because they won awards for their performances they bring some pedigree to the show.  But we both know he did it because he's a special little snowflake of awesomeness.

You don't ever have to worry about anything Harry Potter with me.  I want it put on my tombstone that I never read one of those books or saw 2 minutes of any of the movies. . .and I'm damn proud of it.   "Hello, my name is Joelle, and I'm a cumberholic."

Well, pitch my toes and call me a jelly donut.

"Apparently, Benedict did a drawing of himself as Sherlock a while back for a charity auction. If this guy gets any more amazing, he going to go supernova".

"Ben better watch out--Mark is quickly gaining on him in the 'awesomeness' derby."

"I knew about the "Jonny's Creature" line, but I didn't know about Ben's Corona, though I really WOULD like to know about Ben's Corona. You're right--that DOES sound dirty."

"Hey, you own your kinks.  I admire that in a person."

"If anyone could do it, it’d be John Watson—the man Chuck Norris takes cool lessons from."

"Give the boy a break.  He had just been strapped to a vest covered in C-4. . .and had said vest manhandled off him by Sherlock Freaking Holmes.  I’d be a little slow with the snarky comebacks myself."




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