Absolutely KRICKET!
"Life is about making mistakes, and death is about wishing you made
more!"
Wearing a white cotton glove at work to protect my piercing, a girl asked me what my ethnic background was. Without a second thought I said "I'm half mime"!
"I love your small box."
I want to swallow your babies!
Pretend I'm your daughter, not your wife.
"I'm too old to skip the nap."
"Your roots are showing...no, not those ones..."
"Open first before you insert the fork."
"Look, it's the bi-polar express!"
"He's going to be cute when he grows up...just six more weeks!"
"mmm, winey..."
(having the red)
"I'll have the sheep herder's pie."
"Buggers can't be choosy..."
"It's like feeding tic tacs to a water buffalo..."
MIKE FERRY: If no one claims it, I'm
calling
Tokyo in about fifteen minutes! (on a cell phone found in the ballroom)
KRICKET: Just don't call Chyna!
MICHELE: (to Brian) You're
going
to need to try harder to top that.
THANE: You'll have to try really hard,
since Brian rarely tops anything!
Donald just stuck his hand down my pants and gave me 100 krickets!
(you can get a cream for that)
"Let's have a bachelor auction; I have just enough money to buy myself!"
"First you take the strawberry, then you rub it in the chocolate..."
(forgot he was eating with an audience...)
"Maybe you're the plucky comic relief."
BRIAN: (to short guy) What do
you
look like naked?
KRICKET: short!
"Looks like that, too!"
(when Diane Keaton asked Mandy Moore if that's really what an orgasm
sounds like)
"It's on right after Corner Temple."
-on Little Mosque on the Prairie
BRIAN: Is this my court smile?
KRICKET: A little less teeth, honey, it
scares the children!
"I think my wire isn't long enough."
(arts and crafts pt. 1)
"My bells just weren't hanging right."
(arts and crafts pt. 2)
"You take a block from the bottom and you put it on top...Jenga
Jenga
Jenga!"
-can't remember if this is Dorian's sex life, or the return of the
Starbuck's guy *L*
"It's not special if I can't get it in large!"
-words to live by
"There's running in this game? Forget it!"
"Valhalla! Valhalla!"
-trying to teach Toddy a safeword
"Mozza burger...Papa burger....'Sandburg-er'...and an extra crispy
Jim!"
-ah, Sentinel punning!
"Did you say kissing, or fisting?"
-at least she knows the difference!
"Your wig and crown are up in the drag room if you want to take it home with you...or I could just put them in my box with everything else!"
"Yes, they put a candle in my cupcake last night."
-I bet they did...
"It's all fun and games til someone loses an earring!"
"Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I won't sleep with him!"
"You'd be cuter with your moustache on."
"Fuck y'alls bitches!"
"Great Expectations? That just stands for great let-downs!"
"If I didn't have my own page, I would by tonight!"
"I speak mitchell."
"Who's having burgers tonight?"
"I have a blue rose in my trunk for you."
"No pooping in there!"
-to Abbie
CHYNA: That's as ethnic as we get:
Ukranian
and Jamaican
KRICKET: Is that a 'Jewmaican'?
"Winnipegs version of Mcdonalds Playzone"
on the dilapitated old football stadium in Winnipeg
"We are trying to be subtle, we are from Regina"
on the flashy cups
"The guy checking me out was more attractive after he got his finger caught in the front door"
Kricket "mumble mumble mumble..."
Chugar "what did you just say..?"
Kricket ".....I don't know.."
"I'm not special, I'm gifted!"
"When asking someone out, it's all in the approach. Don't do it crying and drunk"
"I think I'll go after the depressed one--he looks attainable."
MITCH: I can still fit into a 30 inch
waist.
KRICKET: Yeah, if you wear the pants
under
your stomach.
DORIAN: Hey, these sheets are labelled
'OLD'
KRICKET: Yeah, they give the old sheets
to the drag queens in case they get make up on them; quick, check and
see
if Roxy's face is still on there!
"He spent three hours on the treadmill--oh yeah, I can see it in his tiny arms!"
MITCH: I'll be back.
KRICKET: Just like syphillis!
MITCH: Justin Timberlake, 18 year old
boys
and X-Men.
KRICKET: I'll take 'things that are
unattainable
by Mitch' for 200, Alex.
"You can't light up something you don't have"
-on Dave wearing glo-sticks on his belt
KRICKET: Guess who my next one is?
DORIAN and KRICKET (in unison): Bandana
boy!
DORIAN: Can I have his boyfriend?
KRICKET: Divide and conquer!
"It's not all about the feet, it's about the inches..."
"All Hail the Habano's pole dancing champion!"
"I don't ever ask if I can kiss someone, I just like it when they make me ask if I can kiss them."
"Somebody should email her her quotes from tonight--she'd get her own page!"
"I made you squeak! I haven't done that in a long time."
IAN: He looks like an intellectual
Michael
Keaton.
KRICKET: No, he looks like he ate Michael
Keaton.
"That's not spooning, that's forking!"
-on what Brian got up to in Winnipeg
ANGIE: Anyone
want
my cheese?
KRICKET: I've been
in pantyhose for almost 24 hrs; I've got my own cheese.
"...uh, guh, mmm, uh, wha, uh purse."
in Winnipeg
"That went right over my hair spray !"
"There are thousands of suns, rotating around thousands of planets, and none of them are rotating around you!"
"My chest looks twelve."
on the age defying properties of spunk--enjoy the visual!
"Stop touching me!"
"She's too busy drinking to talk to the little people."
"I am concussed."
"I was told if I came here I could go home with anybody....you!"
ANNE: (to Jiminy Lickit on his goth
make-up) You look good dead.
KRICKET: So would you.