Dear BBC, please do a show with Gareth David Lloyd and Benedict Cumberbatch in the same production, so I can watch the news for the big 'splodey in Saskatchewan. I'd probably be able to hear it all the way down here in AZ. People in Mexico would be picking bits of Canuck out of their hair.

XXX

  "Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They fear change, even when it could make the world a brighter place."

"And it just occurred to me, all LaCroix would have had to do to stop Nick from ever trying to be mortal again was show him video of a human male of a certain age prepping for and getting a colonoscopy."

"It's ridiculous, the idea that marijuana would drive anybody to a murderous frenzy.  The only thing it would drive them to is McDonalds."
"Yeah, at ten miles an hour."
Laurie and Laurie's Mom, discussing the 1930's anti-pot propagand film 'Refer Madness'

He's afraid of bosoms?
-on Ed's comment, "It needs two cups--I think I'm afraid of it already! "

Ah yes, I think we both have a tad bit of DNA from that species known as Slash-fanicus Angst-whoricus

I just want to nibble on his nose, it's so adorable.
 -on Ianto

Have you ever noticed that Burn Gorman looks like the love child of Willem Dafoe and Walter Koenig?

Just so you know, the catchphrase has changed.  "Judge Ito on a pogo stick" is passé.  Technically Judge Ito was passé when I coined the phrase, but we won't dwell. The new phrase is "Judge Judy on a pogo stick".  Just as funny an image, and even better: it's aliterative!

In retrospect, I'm not sure if the mental image of Judge Judy on a pogo stick is as funny as Judge Ito on a pogo stick.  Judge Ito: incompetant joke of a jurist with a funny mustache.  Judge Judy: tiny Jewish Grandma that verbally kicks ass and has the recipients of the ass kickings agreeing that "Yes, ma'am, I thouroughly deserved that reaming."  The funniest thing about the mental image of Judge Judy on a pogo stick is that little lace collar flapping up and down.

"Oxford is also where they make Gileses."

Cassandra is in the running to be my new hero!  She's in a neck and neck race with Ed Delicious.

"Give me caffeine and fandom, or give me death!"

Why does that sound all lewd and anatomical?
(sounds like somebody is looking for a few good Serfs for her Regions; see "On The Job" quotes for more...)

Remind me never to give Ed Delicious the wrong weather report.

I think I love Ed Delicious.  Does he need an American wife?

 I can just see this antique map of Canada, ink on vellum, and up around where will eventually be the The Yukon and Northwest Territories and Nunavut, the words "Here be ice weasels" written in swirly calligraphy.
(on a Due South fic)

"My moose won't sparkle."

There should be a contest between Captain Jack Harkness and Captain James T. Kirk for the "Ultimate Galactic Man-slut" award.

Today's rerun of Will & Grace, the one with the flashback scene of  Will's first time in a gay bar?  I wasn't out back then, I didnl't know that gay men had lesbian hair in the 80's.

I suddenly realized how very appropriate is is that I'm reading your "Friends and Family" quote page while listening to "Unbelievable" by EMF.  Hee!

And can an American propose parliamentary legislation? If so I'd like to propose that every visiting foreigner who so desires should get to take home a "Paul Gross as Constable Benton Fraser" clone.
-on visiting Canada

"Don't interrupt me while I'm talking to myself."
-she says she saw it on a t-shirt

"If it weren't for underwires, I'd have to pay someone to walk backwards in front of me, holding up my boobs with their hands."

One thing you can say for Brokeback Mountain: if the sheep were nervous, it wasn't because of Ennis and Jack.

The other day I was in traffic behind a pickup truck that had two decals in the back window; on that was a picture of Bob Marley and the other said "Puffin' Stuff". Geez, why not save space and just have one that says "Search this truck"?

"Carpe that diem for all of those of us who have no diem to carpe."
-to a friend with a hot date

"Today when I was cleaning out at the beautiful house in the woods there was this serious mofo of a spider inside. He was small, but he was all badass looking. He was gray with a black racing stripe, like he'd been on Pimp My Spider. One look and I could tell he was brimming with nefarious plans. So I squished him."
(the best part of this quote is the happy ending *L*)

"Note to self: Be funny."

"I always thought Teena Mulder could use a good laxative. Mick, make the mean woman go away."
--on Mick's latest chapter of BoA

Tania: Just *once* I'd love to fall for someone who doesn't have a wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend.
Laurie: Been there, done that, the t-shirt was too small.

Fucking flan?  Did anybody else have an 'American Pie' moment?
-commenting on an Ed Delicious quote

"Being able to say nanny nanny boo boo makes anything better...I guess "neaner neaner" works just as well."

That voice makes my fallopians flutter.

Damn those uppity Canadians!  My ritual skills were rudimentary to begin with and are rusty now, but maybe something like a nationwide cone of power?
Or maybe Pagans in the northern border states could hoard all the Canadian coins that get used in parking meters in U.S. border cities, spell them, and lay them spaced out all along the border from coast to coast. Let's work on this people!  You never know with those Canadians, they're wiley.
(wiley, that's us :) )

Liberals, another name for Socialists. If by "Socialist" you mean somebody who has any sense of responsibility for the welfare of his fellow human beings,  then yes, I am a Socialist. Better a Socialist than a Fascist, which is basically what Bush-ites are.  I don't say Rupublicans, because not all Republicans back Bush's "Fuck the poor, fuck Civil Liberties,  fuck the stability of the Middle East, fuck international opinion, oh but now that we've dug ourselves in to a fucking exspensive hole, would you please forget that we insulted you and chip in for the cleanup?" policies.

"You have a Toddy?  That's so cool.   Everyone should have a Toddy."

"And just think, if he is really old by the time they make the movie, Mulder can just hang his gun and his cell phone off his walker.  He'll never lose either of them again!"

Hee! Yeah, makes me feel all "we are family-ish" to know that even though we're two seperate countries, we've been brainwashed by some of the same commercials.
(on Ed Delicious and the Reese's/Sentinel crossover quote)

The key for parents, if they can't get their kids to stop dressing like that (boys in gangsta-wear, girls in low riders) the thing is, take lots of pictures so you can humiliate them later in front of their future spouses: "Oh Jason, here's the picture of Emma looking like a crack-whore." "And here, Jessica, here's a picture of Tyler doing his 'Snoop Dog just fell into a vat of flour' impression."

"It's a beautiful state, but the people could use a little consciousness raising. Think Alberta with less rain and shorter mountains..."
-the new travel brochure...

"Re: the new travel brochure: I think I should say in Arizona's defense that what we lack in rain and Rocky-type mountains we make up for with really big holes in the ground."

MOM: Aren't we going to the mall?
LAURIE: I thought you wanted to go to the tire place.
MOM: That's right.  You were thinking.  I wasn't.
LAURIE: That's all right, as long as one of us is.  We'll switch off: tomorrow *you* can do the thinking.

Guns don't wound people, vice presidents wound people.

"If I had my druthers, I'd prefer to only hear about "prostrates" when it involves hot fictional men getting hot and frictional."

"Did I say that second one? I don't remember saying it. The first part sounds like something I say all the time, but I don't remember the second part...Oh, sorry, I should have started with "Quotage! Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!"

So, have you ever been trying to masturbate and your cat decides it's time to get snuggly? If you're not into beastiality, it's quite the buzz-kill.

"I do stupid enough things sober. Just give me coffee, and I'll do them faster."

"Poor Mulder too, mixed with a side of (as is often the case with him) thwapable up-side-the head-ness.
("thwapable" *LOL)

"My brain has all the organization of a ferrets' nest."

"...the following is my impersonation of my cat chasing one of her toys into the kitchen:  SkitterSkitterSkitterSliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiideBonk"
:: bows ::

"I'd recommend splashing out for a non-petroleum lip balm. Putting a product that is derived from crude oil on the entrance to your mouth, now there's a good idea."

JASON: i find myself with a strange curiosity as to what that show might have been like, lol...Santa is really a Grey who uses time altering technology to kidnap the world's children and implant tracking devices into their skulls so as to monitor their behavioural patterns
LAURIE: He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
JASON:lmao wow I had no idea how well that little rant fit the description of santa claus;  honestly i just spat that out at random hehe
(discussion on Green Acres Elementary School third graders performing the musical 'The Xmas Files")

"I need to be more memorable."
-on getting quoted

"Oh my God, I'm a cliché.  I'm Fatty McFan."
 - on seeing pictures of a convention of slash fans

 So, you're sort of like Den Mother to the Twinkie Scouts?

"Madness takes its toll -- please have exact change."

"*So*  Velvet Goldmine, except, well Ripper was butch, and if Ewan McGregor is the closest thing there is to butch in a twosome, you know there's gonna be fighting over who gets to wear the spike heels."

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW--What a Ride!!!"
(might have come from somewhere else, but got it from her, so credit goes where I give it!)

"Mulder's apartment is like France or Poland: everybody's stomped through there at one time or another."

"I'm going to be more assertive from now on, if that's all right with you."

"Don't be pessimistic--it never works anyway!"

"I've never seen an animated winky..."
 (you decide what she's talking about *L*)

"I could never have sex with something that looked like gum disease."
quoting her friend TJ

"Do not meddle in the affairs of vampires for you are a walking juice box and fit nicely in Nick's trunk."

"Oh man, there goes the sexy vampire image.  Dark mystery and the Tijuana Two-Step do not mix."
 commenting on the laxative effects of undiluted Ribena (which stood in for blood on Forever Knight)

"Judge-Ito-on-a-pogo-stick!"
exclamation that had coffee coming out my nose!

"We could always talk about sadistic, necrophiliac beastiality, but that would be beating a dead horse."
 

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