Bacardi MARTY!
Sorry we couldn't make it today, but Thomas is practicing for his Colonoscopy
tomorrow morning. Cam corder's ho! Give us a holler later. There may be
spelunking footage.
THOMAS: It's all tied up.
MARTIN: Just as you like it, dear.
"There are two kids on the orphan bus to nowhere!"
"It's a nipple-lite!"
"Trust me, I am not your average duck!"
THOMAS: Just close your eyes and let little
sugarplum fairies dance in your head.
MARTIN: Only if they've got a big dick
attached to them.
(one track mind?)
"This tiny bit of 'special', brought to you by 'Tardopolos'."
"Why don't they just call it Muff beer?"
-on lesbians drinking Schlitz
More like Chip n Dip!
-on the Chippendales who won at Halloween
"Did you enter a pull-my-finger contest? 'Cos your butt won!"
"They kept me in a closet...with a glory hole...(high winsome voice) it was the only light I ever knew..."
"Nice basket--wanna have a picnic?"
"That's new bear smell!"
(grabbing Thom's crotch)
"I want a shirt that says "Natural Humper."
"I'm the official Box Inspector."
"She needs to compensate for....her life..."
"If stupidity's a crime, turn yourself in now!"
"They're swapping lanes like wives"
THOMAS: Fee Fi Fo Fum--
MARTIN: Get that stick outta your bum!
THOMAS: God bless
you...and all who sail on you. (when Martin sneezed)
MARTIN: There needs
to be more sailing on me.
THOMAS: I saw my very first police chase
MARTIN: Of the season
(okay, so they don't live in the south end....)
THOMAS: (to Brian)
What? Were you born in a barn?
MARTIN: Porn? Did
someone say porn?
MICHELE: (to Martin
on the phone) Good morning.
MARTIN: How are
you doing this morning?
THOMAS: (in the
background) BU-U-U-URPPPP!!!
MARTIN: That's how
he says "Good morning."