THE GAY.....

"Whats scarier than a giant snake? A giant snake on fire!"


***

Dear 6 a.m., I respect that my kitties like you, but I prefer your hot older brother, 9 a.m.

You can't Kevin Bacon your N.

"I'm like fabulous...in a cup....and tall..."

"The Cumberbatch in the wild is a social creature, though awkward in appearance it tends to spend much of it's time with a multitude of different creatures; it is a very busy animal. Unlike other Cumberbatches however the Benedict variety it is not at all camera-shy. If you happen to see it in the wild, do not be alarmed if approached, though seemingly pompous it is both curious and quite friendly. The mating habits of the Cumberbatch still remain a mystery, but it has been known to spend a rather surprising amount of time with it's cousin, The Freeman.
~ Hinterland Who's Who/The (Benedict) Cumberbatch ~"

"What the hell? I've been searching for the mint on my pillow for ten minutes and it's not here!"


 "Food, I was taught you eat whatever you’re given, except seafood, then it’s excusable to have a tantrum and throw it on the floor.  True story-- Grandpa said so."

"I had a dream where we were watching a movie in the living room, all seems normal, right? Only you get up to grab coffee, still normal, only then as I'm continuing to watch said movie, I notice ad odd cameo of a man who appears to be one Benedict Cumberbatch and I yell to you in the kitchen that I was sure he was just on screen and you come out and we rewind and confirm and Imdb and and and, you peed a little. Moral of the story I had a dream about Benedict, and you've ruined my life. That is all."

"He played the XMen theme and I forgot there were people here."

"Why ya gotta fight my argument?"

"It's a passport to chaos, like Yada's vagina."

"I'm pretty sure oral sex doesn't count as tipping."

"If they dump pig's blood on you, don't get any on my suit!"

Dear 5 a.m. If we are going to start hanging out more, the least you can do is bring me a coffee. Thanks.

Whoot Whoot, umm while I have you, I’d like to know what promotions are available…oh and I can’t turn my t.v. on, my internet’s too slow and I’d like to order Big Bad Betty takes on the Blue Bombers

Enjoy your day off, rass frassa frassa grrrr… he he he  I mean see you tonight for delicious bean soup!

"It was good. It was something that tasted like something else."

"Sure hope yer kid likes X-men!  Just sayin’!

"And in other news: Jeanine replied to my e-mail with this: Cheaah."

"My Josh lust crossed over into your UK lust, oh my god it was a cross over! You’ve wrecked me; it’s official."

  She accidentally fell on my teeth!
(on Being Human)
After Jason and I read our today’s horoscopes we have determined that I am logical and he is a prostitute…go figure.

Tonight is Yada's bday extreme show, it looks a little like the dollar store threw up onto a reno site, but that's what she wanted.

Magnetism comes in at 4th after:
1) Weather Control & Manipulation (Storm)
2) Telekinesis (Jean Grey/X-Man)
3) Ice (Ice man)
4) Magnetism (Magneto)
You don’t spend the better part of 19 years and most waking moments and many a crazy attempts to attain certain powers to be comfortable with 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 10th best. 

On a scale of 1 to pedophile, it's justifiable.

I was in an hour and a half meeting learning how what little creative freedom and control I had has been taken away.  Whoo hoo.  I am no longer responsible for the Scene…count to ten, I love my job.

 “You know; the guy that played the ‘whatcha-muh-call-it’ from the cartoon I like.”

Have you met me? Let's go, woman!
bet you thought you'd never hear him say that!   

It could also be as stressful as teaching Jack to run like a man!

Firstly, I want to say that I almost never scrolled down because the shaved headed boy on the right (no, not curly haired) had me gawking; however the below line had me in a bit of a chuckle:
"Liz May Brice (Bad Girls, The Bill) as Johnson – the cynical covert government agent determined to expose Torchwood."
This is some kind of an easy task!  They are just shy of having a giant Remax-style balloon advertising them and their headquarters.

I was about 110 lbs at grade 12 grad, only I was 6', oh anorexia and metabolism are wonderful things; how I miss them! No, not really...okay sort of.

Uh uh uh uh squeak!!!!!!!!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhh so wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what happens when you mention Storm in an email

The good…I think we might make our month which means more commission in addition to a pizza and beer party
The bad…well, you know who is three shades of missing useless
The ugly…me, sort of...

..granted after I have been introduced to Primeval Season 2 and, more importantly, the newest cast member a-la-uber-hot, take action, don’t piss around, head of security I say “Doctor Who”? get it…

Don't make me jump you when I'm all gay and smash you.
(mmm, shooters are good...)

My work in two words Gong & Show.

Now Michele, no threatening to pee on the floor!  Whitney, keep her calm; we want you guys home safe and sound.  Otherwise I make no promises that we won’t go a little loopy and resort to cutting out life size cardboard cutouts of each of you inviting the group over for T.V. and watching you in comfortable (yet mildly creepy silence)

All I ever wanted out of life was to control and manipulate the weather, also enabling me to fly up to 400 (+) miles per hour and to marry a tall (6”3 or 6’4”), brown curly haired man, with athletic build (little baby fat as well).My actions are simply a psychological ramification of my deeply routed unmet needs.

And how would you feel if I got a cardboard cut out of you for coffee at your place??!! lol You could send some quotes of sensible advice that I could play now and again!!!

What happened to the positive Michele we know and love??  Shake it off woman!!

Does Ianto come with it, if you buy now for 3 easy payments???!!!  Oh and will you throw in the Sun?
-Torchwood shopping channel...

Jason, do I need to teach you about birthdays, you don’t give options; you celebrate both days and invite more people.  Silly rabbit, tricks are for me.

“Ughk” “Ughk” “Ughk”  “Ughk” that we me making sounds of disgust the ‘k’ at the end of the “ugh” represents the true utteral dry heave!!! So “Nay” I say to the duck fetus.

"I started smoking-no, wait-that's crazy!"

"I'm in co-dependent love!"

Might I start out by saying “Not brothers, not brothers, not brothers…” I am pleased to announce that our Supernatural boys, Jensen ‘Jaw-line’ Ackles and Jared ‘Junk’ Padalecki will be starring in a couple of upcoming Horror movie remakes!!!

Don’t feel any older, had a great horoscope today though  all I remember it saying was blah blah Storm bla blah blah!!!

Jason tells me that tonight’s episode of Torchwood is a tear jerking episode ala-Ianto goodness??!!  Wow after last night’s teary romp and now tonight, we really should watch Beaches for a complete boo hoo trinity.  Ohhhh Beaches…

"Jason and Michele masturbating--that's what I got out of brunch today."

"Is this what death feels like?"
(the next morning)

Are yah still home???????  gimmeee a call..I am awake
(and drunk, apparently)

Good morning!  I can smell the coffee...or maybe I am just having a stroke.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am a bad husband.  Blow a light bulb or something, save up the garbage maybe...

...if you find scratches on your door and your outside window panes, it was a large stray cat, pehaps a lonely one that wished he could control the weather and may or may not be obsessed with Tom Welling....I make no promises...

Whit and I figured it out, but it took the two of us. It is taped, we watched it at your place, I even made coffee and left a chip and salsa bowl in your sink...take that!  I am like a puppy that pisses on the floor when his master goes away!! haha ...wait oh dear, I just went to a very creepy place.

"Why must everyone taunt me?"

"Wow, you're milking that for all it's worth, ya big suck!"

"I was busy smelling the dominos and making coffee."

Hey, I am drunk; so here it goes..I love less people than I have fingers; and you are waaay up there..

"That was the creepiest Hinterland Who's Who commercial I've ever seen."
re: Chyna at brunch

"We're not on the Titanic, stop waving the white flag!"

"No more talkee, Larry. No more talkeeeee!"
(to Kerry)

"I didn't even know you knew a black girl."
-to Andrea

BRIAN: Why is your glass bigger than mine?
MITCHELL: Well, Brian, sometimes one man's glass is bigger than another's....

"We've shared a laugh--they'll forget I hate you now!"
to Dorian

"We're not talking yet."
to Jason

"If you weren't so busy uploading to your IPOD, silly rabbit..."
to Jason

"IPOD-Man!"
really obsessing over Jason now

"I hate all of you--you're going to wear cheese any second now!"

MITCH: We should talk more.
SHANE: Well you should stop having shows in places I don't want to go, and we'd talk more.
MITCH: We can't hold shows in Schmoo's living room!

oh where oh where has my wify been? oh where oh where can she be????!!!

We could kick em all out and have a sentinel/Smallville marathon rotating episodes all day and chicken @ 6:00!
(does this man know the way to my heart, or what?)

Can't have booze gonna have food..take that!!! bwahahahaa

God be willing we're ordering....that's right i said it....CHICKEN!!!  I am havin one o' those days....hehehe

TREVOR: I'm a warrior!
MITCHELL: Warrior princess, maybe!

"Turkey Soup, Court Planning,Sentinel watching, cabbage roll eating and coffee oh!"

"NOT AT A FUNCTION."

"It's like six degrees of seven bacon!"
-drunk?

"Quick, Swallows, tell a joke; I'm losin' the crowd here."

"That's the pause thing--we talked about it before."

"SHE'S GOT CHICKEN!"

"Oh, God, I hope I never see all seven of those people today!"
-on flirting drunk

"You 'jeujed' your knee hair!"

"That's the closest I've come to seeing a woman swallow anything--I have to go home now!"

"Team Doesn't Listen wins!"
-hosting 'drag races'

MITCH: Do you realize how ugly people are at Wal Mart?
LEELAND: Hey, I went to Wal Mart once.
MITCH: Like I said, ugly at Wal Mart.

"They must be str8; they don't listen."

"It's been 8 years!!!! okay maybe not that long but in impatient 'me-land' it's been long!!!!!!!!"

"I'm afraid of you more!"
-caught in a shooter war between Thomas and Kerry

"I'd pour my Rev over his head but I don't want to waste it."

Should I not survive the evening and have a heart attack or something during XMen-3, it was very nice knowing all of you. Make sure we find wify a good husband that takes out the garbage and changes light bulbs to replace me. Oh and he must love chicken and chips..hehehe

MITCH: Can we hit her with a bus?
TATIANA: That 'special bus'.
MITCH: Oh! Where's Yada?

"Just follow the blinking lights..."
(talking about the track lighting to Yada's box)

"I hate this game and I hate you!"

"Are you done your number yet? Should I be tipping you?"
-to Jaimie, not during a drag show

"We have a drinky-doo to poo!"
(Abbie swears he said it, and he was pretty drunk...)

"Ah, my hookers!"
-waves to Troy and Toddy in the balcony

"There will be NO fun!"
-confused on his birthday....

"I forgot my--fuck!"
-forgetting what he forgot

"Me and my big beer--ooh, I need a sippy cup!"

"One day is probably sufficient for the "who cares" work day excuse."

"I want that one. Monster Trucks, Monster Trucks! Ah! Ah! Ahhhh! I can't read!"
(channeling Little Britain)

"Coniferous is trees--woody. Carniverous is meat--you're meaty!"
(explaining a Deedz comment)

"They're on the FBI Friends and Family plan..."
-analyzing Reyes and Doggett's calling patterns)

"I have a hard enough time wearing contact lenses."
(Mitchlogic for not getting pregnant)

"Why are you so mean to me?"
(to Shane)

"Forever is a long time. Maybe ask her just to love you for two weeks."
(when the Goddess offers to love you forever)

"Can we put off brunch 'til Monday for the past Mister Gay?"

"Am I dead?"

"I have less pants now than I did last night."

"We had burgers?"

"I will kill you all like Oklahoma!"

"Did you get your Southern and diet? Good, we need to keep you liquidat--uh--liquify--drunk!"

"And to think, I could be having high tea....in HELL!"

"As long as you're not masturbating, I don't care."
-to Scully, while watching "Tithonus"

"I don't have to move around to be annoying."

"The only reason I'm not drunk is because I'm drinking too fast to feel drunk."
(ah, logic...)

"Turns out they were both radishes; cos I'm retarded."
 ( the punchline to the Lone Beet story)

"Yeah, I've been gay for a while."
explaining away dancing in the bay window to Tiffany when he was six...

"That's a dirty trick--doing something that's already done for a kiss!"

"It's like me and Justin Timberlake--there's a lot of love going on in my head there."

"The fun part of this story starts with me propped up on the pool table.'

"Look at me dancin' with my bad self!"
on being cloned

"I like pretty things....like me!"

"Mufasah...."
(this is a good thing)

MITCH: Kricket says to tell Yada that her half isn't doing well.
TARA: What?
MARLON: She's not her half. Yada's the half, she's the whole.
MITCH: Tell Yada her whole isn't doing well
TARA: Yada, I'm supposed to tell you your hole isn't doing very well.

MITCH: I would lii-i-ike...
KRICKET: To buy a vowel?
MITCH: I!
KRICKET: This is so not about you, it's about me.
MITCH: I would lii-ike...
KRICKET: To buy a vowel?
MITCH: I!
KRICKET: No.
MITCH: U!
 
 

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