Christian Troy: I think I work better on women I've screwed. Once you've seen a woman's cumface, you've seen her soul.

Sean: My god, when was the last time we went to bed and you didn't hate me?

Vanessa: [after looking at Matt's uncircumcised penis] It looks like a shar-pe.

Christian: Are you actually telling me to stick my dick in the crypt keeper to make your mistake go away?

Sean: I've got a son who tried to cut off his penis, a wife who flushed a gerbil. It's like I've moved back into Hell House.

Christian: I laughed, I cried, I came.

    Christian: Don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re a better man than I am.
    Liz: Damn straight.

Christian: Get your coat and your bitch on.

Sean: [after punching Christian to the ground] I loved you the most!

Julia: [to Ava] Apparently, you're a bitch in every universe you inhabit.

Sean: Wake up, Christian! Our coddling and laissez-faire attitude led him to getting pissed on by a bunch of transexuals!

    Kit: Porn's for fat kids.

    Sean: I have an 8:30 lift with Quentin.
    Christian: Make sure you don't drop the scalpel. Our new partner plays for both teams.

Christian: Is this surgery or open mic night at the lesbian coffee bar?

Christian: Fourteen hours in this place without a cup of coffee even Ghandi would become a narcoleptic.

Christian: Just because I groom, doesn't mean I've gone brokeback.

    Victor: I feel sorry for you, man. Obviously, you’ve never been in love.
    Christian: Sure I have. Its that beautiful moment between meeting the women of your dreams and seeing her stretchmarks.

"I'm serious, I felt violated. The last time I felt like this was back in the early 90s when some girl shoved her finger up my butt with no warning."
 -Christian Troy

Sean McNamara: Ms. Henry, I think you're confusing Dr. Troy's pleasant and very thorough bedside manner with real emotions.

Liz Winters: If it's any consolation to ya, honey, you're not the first girl he's done this to, but at least you got a good set of tits out of it, so heal in more ways than one and just go on with your life.

Gina Russo: My tits are ripe. And this blouse is silk, stains are forever. So, I need you to suck it up.

Dr. Erica Noughton: Why? Do you have a sub-conscious desire to harm me?
Sean McNamara: I assure you, any desire I have to harm you is totally conscious.

Christian Troy: Look, Sean, you may be the expert on complex microsurgery, but I'm a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come.

Sean McNamara: I know your body. I always have. I know where you live and breathe.
Julia McNamara: Then how come I haven't had an orgasm in two years?
Sean McNamara: Because I didn't want to work that hard.

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