RED DWARF
" We could go back to Dallas in November 1963, stand on the grassy knoll,
and shout 'Duck!' "
- Kryten, Timeslides
"This sounds like a 12 change of underwear trip."
- Cat, Terrorform
"Love is what seperates us from animals."
"No, Lister. What seperates us from animals is that we don't use our
tongues to clean our own genitals."
- Lister & Rimmer
"As the days
go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless,
uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh,
haven't you?"
-Holly
"What's he
thinking of, warping that close to another vessel. DAMN SPACE HOG!"
-Kryten
"Hey, this
is mine. That's mine. all this is mine. I'm claiming all this as mine.
Except that bit. I don't want that bit. But all the rest of this is mine.
Hey, this has been a good day. I've eaten five times, I've slept six times,
and I've made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't
have sex with something. Ooooooooow, yeaaaaaaaaah...."
-Cat
"How's life
in hippie heaven, you pregnant baboon bellied space cookie? What's the
plan for the day then? Slobbing in the morning, followed by slobbing in
the afternoon, then a bit of a snooze before the main evening's slob? God,
you're a disgrace to the species."
-Rimmer
"I thought
it was going to be a good skive and all that, you know? Bit I took one
look at the time table and checked out, man. I mean, it was ridiculous.
They had, they had lectures at, like first thing, in the afternoon. We're
talking half-past twelve everyday. Who's together by then? You can still
taste the toothpaste."
-Lister
"The world
loves a bastard."
-Rimmer
"Hey, it's
not a good night unless you get a traffic cone."
-Cat
"It's hideous!
That's the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling
me there were choices, and someone said, "ah, there, that's it. That's
the shape we're looking for; the last-chicken-in-the-shop look"? Shakespeare
had one? Einstein? Perry Como sang Memories Are Made Of These with one
of those stashed in his slacks?"
-Kryten
"Has anyone
ever told you that you are a disgusting, pus-filled bubo who has all the
wit, charm and self-possession of an Alsatian dog after a head-swap operation?"
-Kryten
"Listen, you
bunch of tarts, it's clobbering time! There's a body bag out there with
that scudball's name on it, and I'm doing up the zip. anyone who gets in
my way gets a napalm enema!"
-Lister
"Where did
it all go wrong...? My life started so promisingly. Rich parents; good
school; pony named Trumper. How did I end up like this? On a ship where
the fourth most popular pastime is going down to the laundry room and watching
my knickers spin dry..."
-Kochanski
"She tried to impress me by downing six pints, then belching the whole
of Yankee-doodle-dandy."
-Lister, Red Dwarf
"It's impossible, it's like searching for a fart in a jacuzzi."
-Lister, Red Dwarf
"Now I see why dog's lick their testicles"
-Lister, Red Dwarf