Famous Last Words

"So, welcome to Cascade. We have seven kinds of rain and forty-two different ways of ordering coffee."
-Simon Banks, Switchman

Blair: I will dress up in an evening gown like J. Edgar Hoover if you thought it would help. I want this partnership...
Siege

"Sandburg's always trying to get me to take up meditation or some such thing, but I figure with this place who needs it, you know?"
-Jim, The Killers

Jim: "How can you live like this?"
Sandburg: "Where else am I going to get 10,000 square feet for $850 a month?"
The Debt

Simon: Look, I know the kid helps you with this sentinel thing, but he is not one of us. Maybe it's time you should think about cutting him loose.
Jim: No, sir. I have to disagree with that call. Blair understands what I'm going through.
Simon: You really trust this kid?
Jim: Yes, sir, I do.
Cypher

Lash: Yeah, this is going to really be fun. You have a wicked sense of humor. You know... Kind of hip... With a touch of the nerd. All in all, man... Quite a piece of work.
Cypher

Blair: Hey, Jim, last night when you said I did everything right -- did you mean that?
Jim: Yeah. You kept your head even though you thought you were going to die.
Blair: You know, the Chinese believe when you save a man's life you become his blessed protector and it's your duty to do that for the rest of your life.
Cypher

Blair: Speaking of commitment, I've been thinking about getting a Cascade P.D. insignia tattooed right on my chest.
Jim: Above the nipple ring?
Blair: How did you know about that?
Jim: Let me tell you something. You get a tattoo and your blessed protector's going to kick your ass down seven flights to the lobby.
Cypher

Jim: Well, lock the door.
Blair: Well, don't you think we should have some type of secret password or something?
Jim: A secret password.
Blair: Yeah, so I know it's you.
Jim: All right. Well, why don't you say, "who is it?" and I'll say, "Ellison." and then you open the door.
Night Train

Sandburg: "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Jim: "None. And if you don't move this along, I'm gonna have to show you one of my fingers."
Rogue

Jim: "Let's get some pizza."
Sandburg: "Pie of death? No way man."
Jim: "All right. How about Mexican?"
Sandburg: "Why don't you just shoot the lard straight into your veins? Come on."
Jim: "Hey Sandburg, have you noticed the sudden drop off in the amount of people that'll eat with you?"
Love and Guns

Jim: Get me some backup and get your butt off the street.
Blair: It may not be in that order.
Love and Guns

Blair: It was the wildest thing, Jim. There I was, all alone. Me against those bank robbers. And the next thing I knew, I just got into action. It was so wild.
Jim: Maybe we should get you home.
Blair: Now I know what it's like to be you. I mean, not the enhanced senses part, but that reptilian brain, that primal man, survival of the fittest.
Jim: I'll drive, Conan. Give me your keys. Come on.
Love and Guns

Sandburg: "Trust me."
Jim: "You know, coming from you those are the two scariest words in the english language."
Attraction

SEASON 2

"Jim, don't lose me! Don't lose me. Watch where I'm going! Come and get me, please! Help me! Oh! Oh, great. Really great. Oh, please, please, please, please, please. Oh. Oh... goodness."
-Blair, Flight

Blair: Oh, wait a minute, Jim. I got something in my pants, man.
Jim: How exciting.
Flight

Jim: Hey, Chief? I'm glad you came.
Blair: Me too.
Flight

"Come on man, you have the attention span of a gerbil!" - Blair to Jim,
Out of the Past

Jim: Will you cut that out.
Blair: What?
Jim: Those concerned glances -- like somebody's lost puppy dog.
-Deep Water

Blair: No, no, we're not lost. Just 40 miles in the wrong direction, that's all.
-Reunion

Jim: All right. I'll bite. What's up?
Blair: Nothing.
Jim: Nothing?
Blair: All right, there is something. I mean, we work together every day, right? I'm staying at your place and still you're like this enigma.
Jim: Enigma?
Blair: Yeah, an enigma.
Jim: What do you mean?
Blair: That thing with the bikes today, the Harleys. You're an expert.
Jim: I was into bikes in high school.
Blair: Why didn't you tell me?
Jim: You never asked. This was supposed to be a academic relationship. Next thing I know, you're gonna want the pin number to my ATM.
Blair: 3840. Your parents' birthdates, remember?
Jim: See? My point exactly. A man's got to have little privacy, okay? Just a little bit.
Blair: Look, Jim, if I'm ever going to construct a valid sensory profile of you, I'm going to need everything, the whole mosaic.
Jim: What did you just say?
Blair: I need to know everything.
Jim: Everything.
Blair: From the moment your mother had that c-section.
-Payback

Simon: I believe his exact words were "Tell Ellison to put up or shut up."
-True Crime

Blair: I was in Malaysia once and I spent a month with this tribe that believed that sex was a religious ritual and had to be performed six times every, uh...Oh, my God!
-Iceman

Jim: Come on, Darwin. You need a cold shower?
-Iceman

Simon: It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink.
-Iceman

Blair: Let's take the refrigerator for example. You've got the leftovers color-coded. You've got yours in the blue, mine in the red. Let's talk about your house rules a little. I can't flush the toilet after 10:00. I can't play music that you can hear in the living room. Who can live like that?
-The Rig

Blair: Just don't touch me.
The Rig

"Come on, mom! Detach with love!"--Blair,
Spare Parts

Jim: Next we'll have some esophagus.
-Spare Parts

Blair: Jim, you like tongue?
-Spare Parts

Jim: Touch him and you're a dead man.
-Second Chance

Blair: Only you could have Chinese for breakfast.
Jim: Fried eggs, poached eggs, egg foo yong. What's the difference?
-Second Chance

"Use your fingers."--Blair Sandburg
-Black or White

"Don't make this hard on yourself, boy."--James Ellison
-Black or White

Sneaks: You're... uh... eight, or an eight and a half?
Blair: Eight and a half.
-Blind Man's Bluff

Blair: Tongue is great.
-Blind Man's Bluff

Jim: Sandburg, which way?
Blair: A little to the right.
Jim goes left.
Blair: The other right!
-Blind Man's Bluff

Blair: Come on, Jim. Meditation is not only about spirituality. It affects the body in many different ways, including the senses. Now don't fight me on this one. Just work with me. I'm trying to help you. Now first off take a deep, cleansing breath.
Hear No Evil

Jim: ...Relaxed. I am...relaxed. I am...freezing.
Hear No Evil

Blair: I'm sorry. Sometimes, I got to remind myself to stop studying and go to bed.
Hear No Evil

Blair: A "thank you" would be nice.
Jim: Thank you. I'll remember to send you a card, okay?
Hear No Evil

"Don't cheapen it."--Blair Sandburg
Light My Fire

"You really know how to massage your staff..."--Blair
Secret

Jim: I can't believe Sandburg's in the middle of this. Before he started tagging around with me, the worst that could happen to him at the university was a paper cut.
Dead Drop

"Is it me, or is Cascade the most dangerous city in America?"--Jim Ellison
-Dead Drop

Simon: I was at a dinner for the commissioner. I got paged while the mayor was in the middle of one of his captivating speeches. Needless to say, it got everyone's attention.
Jim: What happened?
Simon: Oh, he was going on and on about before his re-election...
Jim: I mean here, Simon.
-Red Dust

Simon: Either that or his victims had a new employer. Question is, does he connect with your guy Sergei?
Blair: "Tomsk."
Simon: You're welcome.
-Red Dust

Blair: Look at her shapes; look at her curves. She's beautiful. She's perfect.
Jim: You see, that's where we differ, Chief. Those are adjectives that I had reserved for something more female...
-Smart Alec

Blair: Oh, you don't want to argue with me? Well, maybe I want to argue with you. Now, you got my mom totally snowed. She is hurting in there and you know what? I got a real problem with people who hurt my mom.
Private Eyes

Jim: Sandburg inhabits a rather strange and confusing world. Do you want to go there?
Vanishing Act

Blair: Why you got to hurt me like that for?
Jim: You bring it upon yourself.
Pennies From Heaven

"Cold and wet is my world." - Blair,
Survival

Jim: I'll probably think of you as some self-serving, spineless goober.
Blair: I can live with that.
Survival

Blair: What? Helpless animals? What are you talking about? These are superior athletes. These horses are bred for sport. They lead lives of total pampering. The best food, the best medical care, and then they get to go out and stud.
Jim: A little jealous there, Chief?
Blair: Yes, I am.
His Brother's Keeper

Blair: What do you mean there's nothing to tell, Jim? I mean, your sentinel abilities could be hereditary. What if he's got it too?
Jim: All right. We'll pack him up and ship him off to Peru for eighteen months, see what happens.
Blair: Well, you know, I could apply for a grant.
His Brother's Keeper

Blair: Jim Ellison in a dress shop. I would have loved to have seen that. Oh, to be a fly on the wall.
-Sleeping Beauty

Jim: I don't think I'd make a very good sleeping beauty.
-Sleeping Beauty

Jim: Working hard to renew an old friendship, huh?
Blair: Jim, what kind of dog do you think I am?
Jim: One that would jump a table leg.
-The Warriors

Blair: What about you? You sure as hell don't need me if you don't have sentinel abilities.
Jim: What? Were you worried you're not going to complete your dissertation?
Blair: Come on, Jim. I got enough information for ten dissertations. I could have finished months ago.
Jim: So, you've been stalling?
Blair: Yeah. You know, I mean, what do you expect? For me to just jump back into my academic life? Come on -- that would be like jumping off a roller coaster and spending the rest of my life on a merry-go-round.
-The Warriors

I'm not a cop. I'm more like an advisor to the police. I don't get a gun or a badge or anything cool like that, you know. -Blair
-The Warriors

Blair: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I never would have pegged you for a retro man.
Jim: Are you kidding? '69 was a very good year for me.
Blair: Yeah, yeah. I was born.
-Three Point Shot

Blair: Did I ever tell you the story about Alexander the Great and how he used to travel with seven maidens?
Jim: Is that so?
Blair: Yeah, yeah. They used to encourage him with incantations from the battle lines, sorta like ritual cheerleaders, you know.
Jim: Is that a fact?
Blair: No, none of it. But I bet they've never heard that pickup line before.
-Three Point Shot

Jim: Perfect for another train wreck in the ongoing disaster that is your love life.
Blair: Yeah, yeah. This coming from a man who I've never known to date the same woman twice.
-The Girl Next Door

Simon: Jim, you are taking this big brother thing with the kid way too far. You got to let him out on his own, let him make his own mistakes. He's got to fail once in a while. If anything else, it'll build character. God knows he needs it.
-The Girl Next Door

Blair: Hey, Jim, correct me if I'm wrong here, but you seem kind of intense about this one. Is there something else pushing you?
Jim: You're pretty savvy, Kemosabe.
Inside Man

Blair: Jim, you need me in there to watch your back.
Jim: I appreciate the offer, Chief...just not this time.
Inside Man

Chief, I'm not in the mood for one of your touchy-feely lectures.--Jim Ellison
-Vendetta

Blair: Let me know if you're ever up in Cascade again. I'm a hell of a tour guide.
-Fool Me Twice

Jim: Wouldn't be the first time one of us got hung with a good line.
-Storm Warning

(After Jim knocks out two bad guys)
Blair: Where'd you learn that, the army rangers?
Jim: Hope and Crosby. Get up here.
Blair: It was beautiful.
-Storm Warning

Dan: Hey, Jim, Blair. Haven't seen you down here since that autopsy last year -- the one where you passed out.
Blair: Well, uh... I was new back then. I'm thinking that maybe I can handle it now.
-Dead Certain

Blair: She's all right. She's smart, she's aggressive, she knows what she wants. Personally, I kind of like her.
Jim: Okay, D'artagnan, back off on this one. You've already dated half the eligible women in the department. Leave her alone.
-Dead Certain

Blair: Wa-toom-sa. Watumsa Basin, sir. Yeah, I did research on the Watumsa Indians a couple years back. There's not much out there. I mean, there's some farmland and a couple of abandoned copper mines, but that's about it.
Simon: The breadth of your knowledge never ceases to amaze me.
Blair: Yeah, well...Oh, wait a minute, you know what? I'm wrong. There is a town out there. A really small one. Out there in the middle of nowhere. Uh...pine something. Pine tree, pine sol... I don't know. Something.
-Dead Certain

Blair: Hey, turn this up.
Jim: Why?
Blair: Why? Because I can't hear it. There's some definite drawbacks to living with you.
-Breaking Ground

Blair: Okay, wait a minute, let me get this straight. One of your best friends from high school is now in prison for harvesting weed?
-Prisoner X

Blair: I don't like it, man. I mean, what if something happens to your senses? He's not gonna know what to do.
Jim: I'm gonna have to take my chances. Now if you go anywhere near that place, I'm gonna have to use your head as a football.
-Prisoner X

Cassie: You know, I know a really good designer.
Blair: And I have to admit I took a couple classes as an undergraduate.
Mirror Image

Jim: Sandburg is risking his life here. I need to know these things.
Mirror Image

Jim: Captain...could I have a private word with you?
Finkelman: If it's about Blair Sandburg, the answer's still no.
Finkelman's Folly

Finkelman: Don't change the subject. You barged in on an undercover operation without authorization, and you bring him along to enjoy the show.
Blair: Hey, wait a minute, lady, look, I don't know what your deal is here, but give it a rest!
Jim: Let me handle this, Chief.
Blair: No, I'm okay, I'm all right. You know what? This is his personal car. It's his personal time. We're friends. If he invites me along, guess what, lady, I'm going.
Finkelman's Folly

Blair: I'm telling you, I think he's holding back his left hook.
Jim: You know what, I never thought you'd know a left hook from a leftover.
Sweet Science

Jim: Good guy, man.
Blair: He's a great guy.
Jim: Who'd figure you with him?
Blair: I know. What do you say?
Jim and Blair: (looking at each other) Buffet.
Sweet Science

Jim: You? Involved in the sweet science? I have a hard time picturing that. I mean, the flowing silk robes and goofy shorts I can see, but I thought you were a lover, not a fighter.
Blair: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It was fun for a little while though, you know. Although, the Maoris staged hand-to-hand fights to purify themselves for sexual encounters.
Jim: Got a particular female in mind?
Blair: No, not at all, but it's always good to be prepared, you know.
Sweet Science

Blair: What's going on?
Jim: Nothing's going on. Why?
Blair: I just, uh, sort of feel like I'm interrupting a romantic interlude here between you and your football.
-Remembrance

Blair: Jim, I'm a friend. All right? Friends help each other. That's what we do.
-Remembrance

Blair: Come on, a little brotherly love.
Simon: Do I look like your brother?
Blair: From a different mother.
-Remembrance

Jim: Her name is Lila Hobson. I met her when I was in Bali seven years ago right after they pulled me out of Peru. I was on R&R. We stayed at he same hotel, got involved, end of story.
Blair: How involved? Not end of story.
-Love Kills

Jim: You ever have one of those times where with a woman, you know, if things had turned out differently she could've been the one?
Blair: Not really, but it sounds special.
Jim: Why did I even bother asking you?
-Love Kills

Blair: You know, I've been thinking. Both times you've had these sensory episodes, you've been with Lila. What are the possibilities of you being in love?
Jim: You come up with that all by yourself, did you?
Blair: No. I'm serious here. What's the old adage -- when you're in love, the sky seems bluer. Maybe in your case, that's the truth.
Jim: Let me off the couch, Dr. Ruth, and help me find some aspirin.
Blair: All right. So, uh, Jim...last night...after you had the sensory episode, were you senses still heightened when you were, uh... you know? No. I'm serious. Give me some details and be specific. It's for my book.
Jim: You want photos?
Blair: You took pictures?
-Love Kills

Jim: Look, get your tails out from between your legs, huh? I love you. I don't want you to go away mad. Let's go have a bite to eat and we'll talk about it and then you can hit the road, okay?
Crossroads

Blair: So, what are you saying? You want me to move out? I got no problem with that. Actually there's a room's opened up right below us unless that's too close to you, too, and I'll be infringing on...
-Crossroads

Jim: The problem is that this has become personal to me and I'd like to know what's going on.
-Crossroads

Blair: Hi. I'm Blair Sandburg.
Megan: You must work narcotics.
Blair: Uh...no. Actually, I'm a consultant to the department.
Megan: On what?
-Foreign Exchange

Blair: What do you make of that coat?
Jim: What is that? Pink dingo?
-Foreign Exchange

Jim: I agree. I'll leave that upon you, "Sandy".
Blair: All right. That's about enough of the Sandy stuff. I'm serious here.
-Foreign Exchange

Megan: By the way, Sandy, I appreciate you sticking up for me with Banks.
Blair: Ah, that's no problem, but could you do me a favor and not call me Sandy? Nobody calls me that.
Megan: As you like it, Chief.
-Foreign Exchange

"What good does it do for a man to have ears that will hear a thousand miles if he cannot listen to the whispers of his own heart?" --Gabe
-Night Shift

Blair: Look, we have three years of our lives invested in this thing and I'm not going to start shading any of it because you're starting to feel a little threatened.
-Night Shift

Blair: Ah, maybe you're right. Maybe I've, uh...lost my objectivity. I'll tell you what -- I'd rather just be friends. So why don't I go destroy my notes? How about that?
-Night Shift

Jim: I know exactly what you are, lady.
Alex: And I know what you are, too. Welcome to the jungle.
Sentinel Too, part one

SEASON FOUR

Incacha: Use the power of your animal spirit.
Sentinel Too, part two

Blair: Yeah, you know. I'm all right. I saw it. The whole out-of-body experience. It wasn't like that classic light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel thing. There was just a jungle. I was this wolf, and I was running towards a black jaguar. Then we collided, and there was this big burst of light. Next thing I knew, I was spitting up water. The doctors are trying to tell me it's some type of an endorphin rush when the body starts to shut down, but it was...
Jim: The same image. I saw the same image.
Blair: You had the same vision?
Jim: Yeah. It was Incacha who guided me how to bring you back.
Blair: I can't believe this. Einstein said the greatest experiences we can have are the ones with the mysterious. We are definitely there, my brother. Come on in, man. The water's nice.
Jim: Chief, I don't know if I'm ready to take that trip with you.
Sentinel Too, part two

Jim: "Chief, get a grip ... on something other than me!"
Murder 101

Blair: Come on, guys, I'm out there every day getting shot at. I get kidnapped. I deserve to be in this commercial. Besides, I already told everybody.
Four Point Shot

"If that man's ass were any tighter, it'd be inside out."-Blair Sandburg
Dead End on Blank Street

"I don't know know modern art, this looks like a white canvas."
"That's because it is a blank canvas." -- Jim and Blair,
The Waiting Room

Jim: Captain, if you recall, the last time I took this, I fell off a damn train.
The Waiting Room

"Its a Closet." - Jim.
"That's great work, Detective." - Blair.
The Waiting Room

Jim: So, what'll it be? A little, uh, a little German? How about that-that German place? Um...
Blair: I can't eat there. You know that. They got animal heads all over the wall. I can't eat with an audience.
The Real Deal

Jim: Of all the partners I get the nutty professor.
-Most Wanted

Naomi: Did you know that my son is brilliant?
Jim: Well, he does work pretty hard at keeping that from me, Naomi.
TSbBS

Brown: Hey, Jim, my wife's having lunch with the ladies across town. I wonder if you could put your ear out and tell me what they're saying about me.
Jim: Yeah, she says your car's too small for her garage.
TSbBS

“"I always wondered if my work would ever amount to anything. If it's taught me one thing, it's taught me that Jim is right. I got it all. I got it all right here. The brass ring. And now I know what to do."
-Blair Sandburg, TSbBS