Agent #2: "Do you think there will be a big fight?"
Agent #1: "Theres always a big fight"
Agent #2: "Do you think there'll be snacks?"
"Personally, I think we're both the peanut butter."
-Agent #2
"She was there practicing the kabuki version of Annie Get Your Gun."
-The Chief
"Oops... you're in shackles!"
-Doctor
"I'm sharpening my scissors... cut cut cut!"
-The Chief
"Your pants are ringing."
-Mac
"Leo, really! Hostages? At lunch?"
-Sonja
"Electrical shock--it is both fun and useful."
-Grandmamasan
"Work that foam, Carlo."
-Helena Troy
"What's on his evil to-do list?"
-Agent Number Two
"Well, I'm sick of you always kissing girls!"
-Agent Number One
AGENT NUMBER TWO: Futtbuckers? They're the cockroaches of coffee lounges!
AGENT NUMBER ONE: You see one, there's bound to be ten more around
the corner.
"Three words: Fab-You-Louse!"
-Specialist Number One
"Okay, we have to work out a signal for these situations."
-Agent Number Two
"It's Helena Troy. She's so far out of your league, you back up when
she bunts."
-narrator
HELENA TROY: Individually, they're useless. But together, they're a
global threat.
AGENT NUMBER ONE: Like Donny and Marie
"She's the Doogie Hauser of global biological warfare."
-Agent Number Two
"Hi, I'm eligible."
-Agent Number Two
"Lucky cheesy-assed sons-a-bitches."
-Agent Number One
"Spread 'em, boys!"
-Mr. Fish
"I'm just a spy."
-Agent #2
"If it wasn't for her, the agents would just be two extremely hip gas
station attendants."
-narrator
"Let's go-go flamingo!"
-Agent #2
"Marachino cherry cam?"
-Agent #1
"Look. Snacks."
-Agent #2
"If it isn't the Olson twins of the espionage world..."
-Mr. Fish
"How do you know we're not doing it right now?"
-Agent #1
"Put some clothes on or pull the trigger, I beg you."
-Agent #2
"Boys, are you planning to shut up any time soon? I need a drink."
-Helena Troy