TAKE
THAT YOU BITCHES!
(some clever bits
from the FORMER 'head' manager)
"Oh, did I make a new one?"
XXX
"This is the McDonald's money--you don't leave the McDonald's
money!"
(on whether or not to buy that last drink...)
"Did I get anything new?"
"I can't believe the new Madonna single--she's totally sold out!"
(does he know who Madonna is?)
"Wow, how do I take that one away from him?"
"Does he know that ___'s broke?"
"Dorian can't have <a shooter> 'cos he called me Asian. Look at this dick! I am *not* Asian!"
TROY: My penis feels funny.
MITCHELL: What do you mean?
TROY: I don't know--feel it!
ELAINE: Are you mechanically inclined
(to
Mitchell)
TROY: Mitchell can't fold paper!
"Hi, my name's Disaster--you're flirting with it!"
"We were almost killed, thank you! I did those crunches for nothing!"
"Why does it hit me in the car? Not dancing, not with the cute guys, I'm drunk, and it hits me in the car!"
"I'm gonna get another box, so I don't have to bend over."
(the mind boggles...)
"ooh, ooh, there's ____; don't look!"
"Michele just kissed me....with tongue!"
"Here; take this; I promise to have sex with you before your
birthday."
-who says romance is dead?
"It's like Ferngully!"
-on Mitchell's birthday bouquet
"I'm a fat girl, come on!"
-on making room behind the table
"Oh my God, she's humping Marlon!"
"You had me at 'waddya want?'"
-to Ang
"Oh jeez, I'm flying away like Dorothy here!"
(when a breeze catches your shirt...)
MITCHELL: Why can't life just be easy
and
make sense?
TROY: I'm easy and I make sense!
"I pushed Nada--was that funny?"
(looking for a quote)
"I'll scrub my knackers, play my banjo and come on down."
TROY: Hi Deedz, how are you?
DEEDZ: Good
TROY: I bet you smell even better!
"Oooh, that iron's cold!"
-on swallowing bar stools the old fashioned
way
BRIAN: I'm so sick of ugly people!
TROY:So go home!
"You know Mitchell's gonna lose either way, yet they still play the
game."
-on the eternal coin toss
"No means no, eat me out first."
MITCHELL: Do I look like Chewbacca to
you?
TROY: Your arms do.
"Take the piano apart and put it back together downstairs...it's like a Kindersurprise...minus the chocolate...."
"Just the wrong balls at the wrong time."
(on playing pool)
"I have better taste and taste better than that!"
"You wanna see my Big Mac? Super size this, bitch!"
"Feel me, I'm drunk!"
GLEN: Are you shy?
TROY: Quite...until I'm naked
"I got dibs!"
(flirting with newbies)
"I woul' li-i-i-i-ke..."
(insert your own ending--he likes that)
Clutch your pearls, girls, we're going in!
"Your ovulation cycle's more exciting than this!"
"You can bite it if you want."
on nipple rings in general, his
specifically
"I'm gonna puke on the radiator because it dries faster."
"You're wearing a cowbell, aren't you?"
"Mama knows, child, mama knows..."
"No clam for me 'cos I get liquid shits..."
(thanks for sharing, hon!)
"I'm a ra-a-a-abbit!"
"Play with your own rolls, bitch!"
"I'm hotter than a hooker in church!"
"That's hot--that's going in my spank-bank!"