FOX

MULDER: (voiceover) I've held a torch in the darkness to glance upon a truth unknown. An act of faith begun with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance, not just of understanding, but of recovery. That the disappearance of my sister, 23 years ago, would come to be explained. And that the pursuit of these greater truths about the existence of extraterrestrial life might even reunite us. A belief which I now know to be false... and uninformed... in the extreme. My folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception. If only the tragedy had been mine alone, might it be more easy tonight to bring this journey to its end.
Redux

"Next time I'll wear a clown suit and do balloon tricks."

    "Scully, I've been thinking. I know that's dangerous, but just bear with me..."

"Oprah-I watch a lot of Oprah."
Alone

"Skinner told me..."
Alone

"I know where he can find somebody."
Alone (talking about Skinner)

"You re-gifted."
Alone

"He's a big boy"
Alone (talking about Doggett)

"Bring it on!"
Arcadia

  "Admit it, you just want to play house. Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich!"
Arcadia

"Yes, and also I've always been intrigued by women named B.J."
-Aubrey

"What if I like sunflower seeds because I'm genetically predisposed to liking them? "
-Aubrey

"You're as insane as I seem to be."
-from the original script for Biogenesis II: Amor Fati

"Even though my world was unrecognizable and upside down, there was one thing that remained the same ... you were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant, my touchstone."
Amor Fati

"Pardon my rubber."
Blood

"You know, Frohike, it's men like you who give perversion a bad name."
Blood

SCULLY: "How do you feel?"
MULDER: "Like I've been deep throating John Holmes."
outake from Brand X

"I can't stand by and watch people die without doing everything in my, albeit unsupernatural powers to interfere with that fate."
-Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose

"Well, I've had dreams in my life where I had a vision and then later on, I've seen that vision in reality ..."
-Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose

"Rugged manly men, in the full bloom of their manhood!"
Darkness Falls

"Go, girl."
Detour

"Par-tay!"
Detour

"Uhhh ... You're lucky you inherited your father's legs."
-Dod Kalm

"The service on this ship is terrible, Scully."
-Dod Kalm

"That’s great. Now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water?"
D.P.O.

"I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot."
 E.B.E.

"Small technicality-'Mad About You' is about a married couple-we just work together."
Empedocles

"...the pizza man is not above suspicion..."
Empedocles

"I saw Elvis in a potato chip once."
Empedocles

"Oh, my, that's the wrong doll."
Empedocles

"I'm a popular guy."
The Erlenmeyer Flask

"How about a ride?"
Essence

"You're gonna protect her."
Essence

"Skinner, you with me?"
-Existence

"He's got your colouring, your eyes...but he looks suspiciously like Assistant Director Skinner."
-Existence

"Sounds like crap when you say it."
Field Trip

"I just think I've earned the benefit of the doubt here."
Field Trip

"I abducted him."
Field Trip

"You should always carry protection."
-Fresh Bones

MULDER: This is what it felt like in high school, sneaking into Patty Armstrong's room while her parents were asleep.
 SCULLY: I hope you frightened Patty Armstrong less than you did me.
 MULDER: She never complained
from the original script for Genderbender

"If you've got a problem with that I suggest you take it up with AD Skinner."
Grotesque

"Didn't want to get my knees dirty."
Grotesque

"Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you I was kind of excited right now?"
Home

"Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extra-terrestrials involved in an international conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster."
Home

"Skinner requested me?"
The Host

"You know, sometimes, it just gets really hard to smile through it when they ask you to bend down and grab your ankles."
The Host

"I don't know if you can see it from here, but it has no sex organs."
The Host

"Paramasturbatory?"
How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
(Try this one at home folks-it's a big puddle of fabulousness!)

"Before anyone passes judgement, may I remind you we are in the Arctic."
-Ice

"There's no need to get bent outta shape."
-The Jersey Devil

"Instead, I got some dead man robbing jewelry stores and sending me haikus."
-Lazarus

"You probably don't know a feather duster from a duck's ass".
-Mind's Eye

"Oh, I didn't get his name. I was too busy getting my ass kicked."
-Nisei

SCULLY: I just came up with a pretty sick theory Mulder.
MULDER: Oooh, I’m listening!
-Our Town

" Don't make this end badly."
-Paper Hearts

"That makes sense. I've had my head up my rear end for the last five years."
Patient X

"One more anal-probing-gyro-pyro-levitating-ectoplasym alien antimatter story and I'm going to take out my gun and shoot somebody."-
-Patient X

"It didn't take, did it?"
Per Manum

"If you touch me again you'd better kill me"
-Pine Bluff Variant

"That's not a place you want to burn a guy."
Post Modern Prometheus

"...do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?"
Post Modern Prometheus

   "Suggestion is a powerful force. The science of hypnosis is predicated on it, as are most TV commercials. I mean, they're designed to plant thoughts in your head."
-Pusher

"Scully, are you coming on to me?"
 Quagmire

"Are you insinuating something?"
Quagmire

"You know, its interesting you should say that, because I've always wanted a peg leg. It's a boyhood thing I never grew out of. I'm not being flippant, I've given this a lot of thought. I mean. if you have a peg leg or hooks for hands then maybe its enough to simply keep on living. You know, bravely facing life with your disability. But without these things you're actually meant to make something of your life, achieve something, earn a raise, wear a necktie. So if anything I'm actually the antithesis of Ahab,  because if I did have a peg leg I'd quite possibly be more happy and more content not to be chasing after these creatures of the unknown. "
Quagmire

"For a holy man you sure have a knack for pissing people off."
Red Museum

"I think the sperm posse just rode into town."
-Red Museum

"Tell me about your dreams, Roland.  It's all right, I won't tell anybody.  You know, I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was, uh, swimming in this pool. And I could see my father underwater, but when I dove down, the water stung my eyes. Then there was another man at the pool, watching me. He upset me. He was asking me questions I didn't want to answer. And I had to leave. I couldn't find my father."
-Roland

"Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?"
Schizogeny

"He's all right. He could use a little more seasoning and some wardrobe advice, but he's a lot more open to extreme possibilities than..."
-Sleepless

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MD's do it"
-Small Potatoes

Hey Scully, can you spare a prophylactic?
Soft Light

"The worse the day gets, the faster the necklace twirls."
deleted scene from Squeeze

"I don’t. All I know is, uh .. normal is not what I feel."
3

"I didn't check into a hotel room. I don't sleep anymore."
-3

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just... I have no idea where I fit in. Right now. I just, uh... I'm
having a little trouble... processing... everything. "
Three Words

"Consider that a freebie. The next one's going to cost you. "
Three Words

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
COME ON DOWN
MULDER
-email from Mulder on Scully's cel phone, Three Words

"It's more than that. He wants to punish you, to hurt you."
Three Words

"Let's do some emailing."
Three Words

"Melvin, I'd be a whole lot happier to see you if you'd just take your hands off my ass."
Three Words

"Compared to where I just was, prison'd be a Princess cruise."
Three Words

"When I was dead, I was hopin' that maybe they changed the rules."
-Three Words

"If there’s an ice tea in that bag, could be love."
Tooms

    "C'mere, you big, bald, beautiful man..."
-The Truth

"You're an inveterate scum sucker whose moral dipstick is just one drop short of bone dry."
Tunguska

"Stupid ass haircut!"
Tunguska

"She's the rosy pink picture of walking, chain-smoking health."
-on Cassandra Spender, from the original script for Two Fathers

"It's not the finely tuned insanity that you've come to expect from me..."
2Shy

"Mr. Dales, what exactly did your brother tell you about me?"
The Unnatural

"It's official, I am a horse's ass."
The Unnatural

"It's not a bad piece of ash, huh?"
The Unnatural

"Hips before hands, alright?"
The Unnatural

"No, I don't consider myself "something other than a man.""
-from the original script for The Unnatural

"Tough crowd."
  Vienen

"I'm sorry, Agent Doggett's gone fishing. Can I take a message please?"
Vienen

"Well, when he gets old enough, you tell the kid I went down swinging."
Vienen

"I didn't come out here just to bust your ass."
Vienen

"And you'd love to help, but you left your lightsaber at home..."
Vienen

"Kersh catch you peeing in his cornflakes."
Vienen

"I'm out. I'm 86'd, Agent Doggett."
Vienen

"Kersh could barely contain his happiness when he stuck it to me."
 Vienen

"Wagner?"
Vienen

  "I was paying attention!"
Young at Heart