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 BRAD'S COMMENTARY Commentary for April 24, 2005
Hello and welcome to another installment of Bad Brad’s commentary. There are several pictures on this update, so the page may take a while to load, but I believe that it is worth the wait. I would like to get some shameless plugs out of the way real quick-like. I always enjoy seeing other write things about me, hell, who doesn’t. So here are some other sites where you can read comments about me. And I recommend checking these sites out, even when they don’t mention me. Although not as much as when they do mention me. The first is the Coach’s Corner by Gary Tool. The other is Seth Allen’s commentary. He mentions how astounded he is that myself and many others have kind of taken him in, while those who have been around much longer are shut out. The reason for that, Seth, is because you are respectful of us, and of the business. Also, you are eager and willing to learn the things that we are willing to teach you. Others think they already know it all, thus putting us off. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to tagging with you in Lawton on May 14th. Check out the picture of the week by clicking
here.
This week, I think I will do something a little bit differently. I think I will take a break from the controversial role I have been on lately. I am going to use this space this week to do something I have been meaning to do for quite some time. You may have seen mention of the Oklahoma Bastards on my site or a few other sites. I have promised in the past to shed some light on this situation. Well, today is that day. I am going to let it all out in the open. Who are the Oklahoma Bastards? Why such a harsh name? Are they really Bastards? I am about to answer those questions and many more…all at the risk of breaking kayfabe. Well, the way I look at it, blood is thicker than kayfabe. And these boys are my blood--my family.
I suppose first I should do roll call. Here they are, in no particular order:
“Coach” Gary Tool
Now that I have named them, what do they all have in common? The Oklahoma Bastards (OKB) are a brotherhood--a fraternity of sorts. The wrestling business in very cut-throat. However, the OKB have somehow all managed to remain tight. We have stuck together through thick and thin. We have helped each other at every opportunity and watched each other’s back at every turn. In a business where most guys don’t have too many people that they can call a true friend, we each have 10 other guys. In this business, that is a lot.
Why are we called the Bastards? We owe the name to none other than Mike Paige. The OKB spent a lot of time in Texas several years ago. Usually it was Tyler, Coach, and myself. Paige was always known to say, “If your main event is late arriving and you need to buy some time you could always send Bad Brad out there to sell something.” We were known as cut ups in the locker room and class acts in the ring. One night after a particularly funny locker room incident (it escapes my mind at the moment) Paige shook his head and said, “You Oklahoma bastards.” On the ride home that night we decided that the name was fitting for our “clique” and we would keep it and run with it.
Why is the Bastard name so fitting? Well, the boys in the OKB have been known to call it as they see it and not put up with shit, even if it means being a dick to someone else in the process. In fact Tyler, Coach, and myself decided one late night after a show in Denton, to get the OKB logo tattooed on our bodies. What is the logo? A middle finger, of course. This represents our mentality. Fuck the rest of the world, we are going to take care of ourselves and each other.
Let’s meet the Bastards individually.
Gary “Coach” Tool. He earned the Coach name by being a mentor to anyone who was willing to listen. Coach is famous for getting us bad service at restaurants. However, he is also famous for going off on wait staff. Coach’s flatulence has cleared a locker room on numerous occasions. He even once emptied an outdoor locker room. Coach taught me most of what I know, and has been there every step of the way to show me the right path, whether I chose to take it or not. Coach is a straight shooter. You can always count on him for an honest opinion, in or out of the wrestling business. I owe him a ton for the things that I have accomplished in this business through his help. Gary, I love you and am forever grateful.
Tyler Bateman. Although he may not want to hear this, I think Tyler is the Bastard who is most like me. Tyler is like a brother to me--complete with all the squabbling and the loyalty. I would like to think that Tyler would say about me many of the things that I just said about Gary. When Tyler broke in, I saw something in him. I took him under my wing and taught him a lot. We became great friends. We did a lot of drinking together in those first few years. We both have strong wills and thick heads, which has led to numerous butting of heads. But in the end, we are still brothers, and things are okay. We have shared the ring as partners and opponents numerous times. I believe I have had many of my best matches with him on either side of the ring. I believe that Tyler and I were two of the most over guys at TCW/XCW when we originally formed the OSA. Aside from the short stint I did with the Flying Jobber, Tyler and I started the Old School Assassins in Texas and in Oklahoma. Maybe before it’s all over with, we can branch it out even more. I love you, cuz’ and look forward to sharing the ring with you in the future.
Chris Matthews. The greatest friend anyone could ask for. Chris and I are constantly on the same page with everything that we discuss. It’s sometimes scary. I stood by his side in his wedding, and watched him wed a beautiful girl, who I am also pleased to call my friend. I believe the best matches I’ve had that weren’t with Tyler, were with Chris. It was an honor for me to lose by pin fall to him in a retirement match which would also crown him the new Tri-State Champion. Of all the Bastards, I think Chris and I get along consistently the best. Very little fighting. Every time I spend with him is a blast. We’re constantly scheming on something. The man once blamed a massive fart on me in the middle of Wal-Mart. In that very same Wal-Mart, he gave me a Bionic Elbow and made me bump. Much love to you, Big Money.
Angel Williams. Angel and I broke in a couple of weeks apart. His very presence in the wrestling school inspired me to formerly begin my training. Of all the Bastards, Angel and I have probably been through the most emotional ups and downs. We have been there for each other through some pretty rough stuff. When Angel got out of the business and took off to Arizona for a year, his last match was with me. That match began my lengthy Tri-State Title run. I will never forget that night. It was very emotional for all parties involved. I think it may be the only time that an “I love you” was exchanged during a pin cover. Angel, I love you and am proud of your recent accomplishments. Continued good luck.
Tits McGee. I must admit, that I am responsible for McGee getting into the business. He contacted me online several times wanting to know where he could train. I led him to the right place. I also took him under my wing. Tits won the Bastards over by an awesome promo he cut at a workout one night, less than a month after he began training. “…I’ll pin you for the 1-2-3, you fuck!” The OKB’s popped big time, and decided that Tits must hang out with us. He became a pledge of sorts, being made to prove that we was worth of having the Bastard name. The best was the night he chugged syrup in IHOP. And yes, this was before Super Troopers came out. McGee began going on the road with the Bastards, and eventually began getting booked places. McGee is always good for comic relief, and for the longest time hosted all the Bastard get-togethers. I love you, and stay fat! (Like that isn’t going to happen anyway).
Jimmy/Johnny Cruize. I have said it many times that JC is one of the best minds in the business. Every time I work with him, it’s like a night off. We have shared some great moments in the ring, and not always in front of the crowd. There was the infamous match at a workout in front of some smart marks who were trying to call the match. There was the match at workout where we hit at least 10 big finishes, and went home on a school boy roll-up, leaving all the boys watching on the edges of their seats. I can honestly say, that as much as I love all the OKB’s, JC is the only one I think I could tolerate to live with. He is the king of the one liners. I would pick him to be my booker any day of the week. Love ya, brother, and please cease the investigation.
Big Country/Big Daddy Pain. Along with myself and Tyler Bateman, Big Country is a founding father of the OKB. Country is a 425 lbs man who can do a spin wheel kick. Impressive. Country nearly killed Honest Glynn Walker in a locker room one night much to the delight of all the onlookers. In the process, he broke through a doorway, and looker somewhat like a scene out of a Kool-Aid commercial. Country had an awesome sense of humor, and an interesting out look on things. He is the Kabus to my Fabus. Since leaving the business he become a truck driver and faded away into obscurity. No one knows for sure where he is. If/when he resurfaces, I’m sure we will have an OKB reunion, and it will be like he never left. I love you and miss you.
Striker. Striker is an awesome friend. He has been by my side through every step of my career, good and bad. I don’t get to see him nearly as much as I would like to. Striker took part in the 3 man, Budweiser Battle Royal. He has the best Marmaduke laugh ever. Striker and I used to be road companions. We had many delusional nights where we saw things in the road, (ex. People, animals, etc…). Although we never saw the same thing at the same time. We once shared concussions. We had many great dinners in the Iron Skillet. Striker performed my favorite Big Boot of all time. Striker, I love you, miss you, and can’t wait till I see you next time. It’s always a blast.
Jeff Tiger. El Tigre. What can I say? Quite possibly the weirdest member of the Bastards. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Jeff managed the OSA in Texas for several shows as Rat Man. The crowd loved it. Jeff and I used to attend the 50 cent movies every Tuesday at the Dollar Theater while we were both out of work. Good times. This led to the manager of the theater (a shady fellow) offering us a trash bag full of pop corn for $5. Of course we took it, and later that week I piledrove Anthony Wayne on it. Tiger is also famous for buying a $5 patchwork sausage. Jeff constantly informs me of the random and obscure. Jeff, whether you want to hear it or not, I love you, and the next time I see you, I am giving you a hug, haha.
Vintage Viper/Payton Scott. Viper instantly brought me into his life as a result of information he had heard from others about me. I’m glad he did. He’s been a great friend, and always opened his home up to the OKB’s. Viper has been through some very tough personal problems. I would like to think that I, along with the Bastards have helped him through these ordeals. Viper is famous for being late and meticulous. It’s his gimmick, and it shows no sign of stopping. He is the master of impersonations (Darnell, Old Man Crab Tree, and Chris Tucker). He is also the master if minute details (Look at the guy in the background there, check out his eyes). Viper also turned me onto a great film--Clay Pigeons. Everyone should check it out. We all joke with Viper about his age, but in reality, he has done and seen a lot--He’s a Gulf War Veteran. And I commend him for getting into the wrestling business at the age that he did and with the injuries that he has. Old Timer, I love you.
Brad Michaels. If you don’t know anything about me, you must be on the wrong website.
Well, that about sums it up. I hope I have shed some light on the situation. I hope you enjoyed reading about the Oklahoma Bastards, because I sure enjoy being one. Check out the image pages for several more Bastard images.
If you missed my commentary about disrespect last week, or any other past commentary, make sure to click on the “Archives” link below.
Until next time,
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