BRAD'S COMMENTARY  
Commentary for September 18, 2005

Welcome to another long overdue edition of Bad Brad’s commentary. I apologize for the delay. I have been extremely busy and somewhat distracted. Most of that is cleared up now, and updates should be more frequent. WWE 24/7 is in the Michaels household alongside over 500 wrestling tapes. So wrestling is always on. And no, you can’t come over.

Make sure you check out the updated picture pages. “Pics 1” has pictures from IZW’s Two Night Title Fight, and some other assorted pictures. And anyone who knows me at all knows that I enjoy a little “blood letting” in the ring. So “Pics 2” has a barrage of crimson masks, some of me, some of various others I have run across through the years. Also make sure you check out the Picture of the week (Please be sure to read the caption).

Impact Zone Wrestling has a fantastic show coming up on Saturday night, September 24th at the Great Plains Coliseum in Lawton, Oklahoma. Former WWF Superstar Doink the Clown is on the card. Former WCW World Champion/Former WWF Superstar Big Van Vader is on the card. Former NWA World Champion/Former WWF Superstar/Current member of the WWE Creative Team “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes is on the card. Since my Old School Assassins tag team partner Seth Allen is serving our country in Iraq, I don’t know where that leaves me on September 24th. But I do know that there are a couple of guys on the show who are Old School themselves. Something tells me that we will have some interaction.

Now onto my main topic this week. Being a professional wrestler means spending endless hours in a car. For the last 6 years, most of my time in a car was spent in the now infamous Thunder Chicken. I am happy to announce that the Thunder Chicken has been retired. But there is a suitable replacement, the Silver Falcon. A lot of the time on the road is boring, tiring, and monotonous. Like all things, there are some exceptions. I would like to share some of those exceptions with you at this time.

*Recently while in the car with fellow Oklahoma Bastards Tits McGee and Angel Williams, a fellow motorist was running numerous red lights and decided to flip us off. He soon realized this was a bad idea and continued running red lights. We were hot on his tail, closing up on him at a red light. He panicked and turned into an oil change parking lot, exiting through the other side, driving 60 MPH through a residential neighborhood. We decided to end the chase at this point, sparing the punk an OKB ass whooping.

*After an exhausting night at teXas Championship Wrestling in Denton, TX, we left the building to go eat at IHOP with the boys. While exiting off the highway, another driver on the service road failed to yield, forcing me to put on the brakes suddenly. The lady behind us on the off ramp, slammed into the rear bumper of the Thunder Chicken. She hit the car so hard that 400 lbs. Tits McGee, sitting in the back seat, flew out of his seat and hit his head on the roof of the car. Fortunately there were no serious injuries and the other driver was deemed at fault.

*Tits McGee, Gary Tool, and myself were on a trip to Kansas City. Driving along side us was Mike Paige and the Overboyz--Joey Corman and Samir. Mid-trip McGee decided it would be a good idea to press his fat ass against the window of the 1994 Ford Taurus that we were driving that day. Samir nearly drove off the road. This wasn’t the only time McGee would get over on poor Samir this trip. Stopping off to eat at Wendy’s, Tits hit the bathroom before Samir got a chance to urinate. When Samir did attempt to use the facilities, he nearly vomited at the odor left in there.

*Tyler Bateman and I met up with Epi the Phat Samoans and the OverBoyz to drive to Lufkin, TX for a show. Shortly after pulling out of the driveway in Tyler the Overboyz who were leading the charge pulled into a Taco Bell drive-thru. Samir got out of the car and opened the hatchback. He began sifting around for something, later explaining he was getting a t-shirt out of the back to use as a pillow. He then reached up to shut the hatch back down. When his arms raised, so did the shirt he was wearing, revealing his bare ass, much to the surprise of Tyler, Epi and myself in the car behind them.

*On the drive home after a show in Bentonville, Arkansas, Viper (a/k/a Payton Scott) took the wheel, as myself, Gary Tool, and Johnny Cruize were far too tired to drive. We would later find out, so was Viper. Breaking a rule that I set--”If the driver can’t sleep, neither can the passengers”--I drifted off to sleep in the back seat as did Gary next to me. Suddenly we were wide awake, as the car narrowly escaped slamming into the guard rail. Viper claimed, and still does to this day, that he was just messing with us to see if we were awake. Coach Tool immediately asked Viper to pull over as he needed to pee. Coach used the bathroom, got a Mountain Dew and a Snickers bar, and regained control of the wheel, refusing to belief Viper story that it was a rib.

*Another near death experience happened with me behind the wheel on the way home from a show in Harrison, Arkansas. My eyelids were getting very heavy. I thought we were never going to reach our destination. I guess I closed my eyes for just a few seconds too long, as I almost crashed into the retaining wall. Johnny Cruize broke out into song, “The hills are alive…..with the sound of PISS running down my leg!” Angel Williams later said all he wanted to do was grab the wheel, and steer us into the path of an oncoming semi truck, simply so he could get some sleep.

This will conclude this week’s commentary. I hope you enjoyed these stories half as much as I enjoyed living them…at least some of them. Please check back next week, where I will share some more road stories.

Until next time,