The idea behind this event is that random names are drawn from a hopper. The first two names drawn team to face the 2nd two names drawn, and so on. The victorious teams go on to a 2-ring battle royal.
This Bowl was overflowing with Wrestle Crap.
Michael P.S. Hayes & Tracey Smothers vs. Jimmy Jam Garvin & Marcus Alexander Bagwell
Smothers is such an underrated worker. For years he’s only been used to make others look good. This match was no exception. This was pre-Buff and Bagwell still had hair—Lots of hair! Bagwell pinned Tracey with a Fisherman’s Suplex as the fellow Freebirds discussed on the other side of the ring.
Stunning Steve Austin & Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Van Hammer & Big Josh
Only about a minute of the match was shown, and that may have been for the best seeing who was in it, and I don’t mean the Dangerous Alliance. Rude scores the pin with the Rude Awakening.
Larry Zbyszko & El Gigante vs. Dustin Rhodes & Richard Morton
Again only a portion of the match was shown as “The Living Legend” slaps El Gigante, enraging the Argentinean. This prompted him to throw Zbyszko into a double drop kick from Rhodes and Morton for the win.
Mike Graham & Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jushin “Thunder” Liger & "The World's Strongest Human Being" Bill Kazmaier
Back to the entire match being shown, although I wish it hadn’t been. Kazmaier is terrible and has absolutely zero ring presence. He press slams Liger onto Page for the win.
Lex Luger & Arn Anderson vs. Terrence Taylor & Z-Man
Why is he called the Z-Man? What is a Z-Man? What was so wrong with the name Tom Zenk? Having the piledriver as my finishing move, seeing Luger’s hideous version of the same move hurt my feelings.
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat & Todd Champion vs. Cactus Jack & Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker
As soon as the announcement was made, Abdullah the Butcher attacked Parker, repeatedly smashing his head into a locker. Parker, throughout the match, made a valiant effort to crawl to the ring. He finally made it to the wrong corner and was violently tagged in by Cactus Jack for his efforts. He turned right into a Steamboat top rope cross body for the finish.
Sting & Abdullah the Butcher vs. Flyin’ Brian Pillman & Beautiful Bobby Eaton
Abby was hilarious coming to the ring with an excited, ear-to-ear grin, elated to be teaming with Sting. He quickly swerved him, attacking with his kendo stick. Pillman repeatedly saved his opponent Sting from his other opponent Abdullah. At one point, Pillman refused to tag in, so Eaton attempted to tag Abby, which the referee disallowed. Cactus came in, inadvertently hitting Butcher with the kendo stick. Sting hit Eaton with the same finish from the previous match, a cross body, for the win. Cactus & Abby brawled all the way to the back after the match.
Rick Steiner & Night Stalker vs. Big Van Vader & Mr. Hughes
Night Stalker was a replacement for the injured Diamond Studd a/k/a Scott Hall. Hall must have known how this one was going to turn out, thus he didn’t stick around ringside to watch. Smart man. Vader landed a big splash on Night Stalker, who was a total non-entity in this match, and I’m not complaining.
Scott Steiner & Firebreaker Chip vs. Johnny B. Badd & Spiderma…errr…I mean…Aracnaman
This match was only shown in clips as Steiner hit a belly-to-belly for the win.
Steve Armstrong & PN News vs. Ron Simmons & Thomas Rich
The future Faarooq would hit a spine buster on Armstrong to advance.
Next up was the Battle Royal. It started in ring #1. In order to be eliminated you had to be thrown into ring #2. Then you had to be eliminated from ring #2 to the floor. The last man in ring #1 who wasn’t thrown into ring #2 would face the last man in ring #2 who wasn’t thrown to the floor. Buff was introduced as “The Rookie” Marcus Alexander Bagwell. Luger was the winner in ring #1, getting to rest until ring #2 only had one man left. Sting was the winner in ring #2. After being eliminated Rude came back in and administered a Rude Awakening to Sting. Sting was victorious in the first ever Battle Bowl, outsmarting Luger.
The match quality wasn’t very high and I counted 9 Wrestle Crap inductees on this card. I didn’t like the partial matches shown. I give this video 2 stars.
Check back next week for more video video.
BRAD'S Video Review 