Here they are. The Cartman Clan's members. A listing of the most supremely... uhh.. or fantastically.. umm.. oh, never mind, it's us, the Cartman Clan. The members are listed in the order in which they joined/were accepted, except in the case of SC and Vulturus; they co-founded the Clan, and their profiles should be side by side, but SC is too much of a glory-hogger, so he put himself on top. If you want info on joining (well, attempting to join) the Cartman Clan, click here.
Birth Era: The early 80's
Position in the Clan: Co-Founder, Co-Leader, Site Webmaster, Joketeller
From: Toronto, the "capital" of Canada
Quote: "Holy crapoli!"
Acro Name: SuperCartman
Y'know, I really have nothing to say about myself. I spent too much time working on everything else on this site, and I'm all out of creative power... uh, let's see, I'm a Scorpio.. 5'10".. wear size 11 shoes... oh yeah, I run this little website called the Cartman Clan Homepage; have you heard of it?
E-Mail: super_cartman@hotmail.com
ICQ: 12142224
Birth Era: Somewhere in the 20th Century
Position in the Clan: Co-Founder, Co-Leader, Jabronie
From: Fairfield, Pennsylvania
Quote: "No comment, except for... NARF!"
Acro Name: Vulturus
He's the cohort in crime, folks. He works behind the scenes to make things happen. Actually, he just sits at home and tries to shoot apples off a table with his rifle. My guess is that he's actually a 40-year old from Russia who thinks that creating the Clan would be a good way to spy on North Americans. Or maybe I'm just an idiot. Yeah, that's probably it.
E-Mail: vulturus@hotmail.com
ICQ: 11185402
Birth Era: The Super 70's
Position in the Clan: Elder Statesman, Provider of Alcohol
From: Somewhere in New Jersey
Quote: "Drink Bud Ice, but beware of the Penguin!"
Acrophobia name: budYzer
As you can see, this guy's existence is centered around beer. You may remember him from such films as "Beer Beer Beer", "Who Stole My Beer?", "Woo Hoo, Here Comes the Beer Truck!", "Beer and Me", and "Screw My Liver, I Want Beer". But I'm sure that there are other things going on in his life besides alcohol consumption. I just never hear about them.
E-Mail: budyzer00@hotmail.com
ICQ: N/A
Birth Era: A little late to be in Generation X
Position in the Clan: The Required Female, The "Other" Canadian
From: Terrace, British Columbia
Quote: "Smoke weed, be happy."
Acrophobia name: SoUtHpArK``
This is SoUtHpArK``. She tore down walls, broke through barriers, and became the first female member of the Cartman Clan! It was, of course, after a lengthy process of waivers, disclaimers and release forms, but, in the end, she made it! She lives in a house. And her house is surrounded by many other houses. That's about it. Oh yeah, and according to her quote, she smokes weed, and is happy. Go figure.
E-Mail: wavdemon@yahoo.com
ICQ: 20487532 (Southpark)
Remember kids, say no to drugs.
Birth Era: Between 1970 and 1990
Position in the Clan: International Correspondent, Provider of Funny Catch Phrases
Town: Bristol, England
Quote: "What? Go to bed? It's only 2 a.m!"
Acro Name: BritBulldog
Buy expensive software? Not Jazz! Why buy it when you can pirate it? That's his philosophy! How else do you think he makes all those South Park drawings? With his own money? Not likely! But who is this enigma called Jazz? As far as I can tell, he's a British vampire who believes in Mr. Hankey. If you can come up with a better description, I'd like to hear it!!
E-Mail: jazz@imstressed.com
ICQ: 18221815
Birth Era: 2010-2020
Position in the Clan: Risk-Taker, Political Analyst
From: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Quote: "Live life as if tomorrow is your last day."
Acrophobia name: I forget. Really.
This is the quite insane guy. He lives life on the edge -- and not just crustless pizza, either. He jumps from planes, he... well, he jumps from planes at least. But he's on a constant adreanile rush, and is always so full of energy that he doesn't have time to check spelling and grammar when he's typing. Of course, being in the Cartman Clan is the ultimate thrill. No, you don't believe it either, do you? Didn't think so.
E-Mail: postiergroup@webzone.net
ICQ: 18733271
Birth Era: The Excellent 80's
Position in the Clan: Blackmailer, Provider of Web Space
From: San Diego, California
Acro Name: sweetzone
Quote: "No, I don't know. What do they say about guys with big feet?"
Well, you've probably seen his site, www.spzone.com. Let's just say that he had a rather... unique application to join the Cartman Clan. But either way, he's in now, and is here to stay. He really does have big feet; apparently his feet are 3 sizes larger than they should be at his age. Is what they say about guys with big feet true? I don't know; you should probably ask him.
E-Mail: spkenny_web@email.com
ICQ: 25679923
And that's us... the Clan. Rest assured, the ranks of the Clan are sure to expand in the future. Not necessarily the near future, though. Maybe this group of folks will suffice for now.
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