This is a version of 6 Degrees of Separation, the theory that says it only takes 6 steps to connect anything to anything else (or anyone to Kevin Bacon). Well, since we believe in this theory, we will prove that many South Park characters can be connected to things in the real world in, you guessed it, six steps.
How Do You Connect KYLE and IKE to a CAN OF BEER?
How Do You Connect CARTMAN to MARILYN MANSON CONCERTS?
How Do You Connect KENNY to HIGH-RANKING POLITICIANS?
How Do You Connect MR. GARRISON to KATHY LEE GIFFORD?
How Do You Connect STAN to WATCHING A CAR RACE?
How Do You Connect MRS. CRABTREE to the LEAD SINGER FROM PRODIGY?
How Do You Connect IKE to the CARTMAN CLAN HOMEPAGE?
How Do You Connect the SOUTH PARK KIDS to COMPUTER NERDS?
How Do You Connect CHEF to PEOPLE WHO STARE AT THE SUN?
How Do You Connect MEPHISTO to VIOLENT PROTESTS?
How Do You Connect MR. HANKEY to HAIR LOSS?
How Do You Connect TERRANCE AND PHILLIP to A HIPPIE CONVENTION?
How Do You Connect UNCLE JIMBO to GETTING AN ABORTION?
How Do You Connect MATT STONE and TREY PARKER to PEOPLE WHO MOLEST FARM ANIMALS?
How Do You Connect WENDY to DRUNKEN IRISH SOCCER FANS?
How Do You Connect TWEEK to SCRABBLE?
How Do You Connect KYLE AND IKE to A CAN OF BEER?
KYLE AND IKE are supposed to be blood brothers, but aren't, as aren't...
THE UNDERTAKER AND KANE, who represent death, as does...
A TOMBSTONE, which lists dates, the same as...
A CALENDAR, which often has pictures of busty women, just like...
PORN MAGAZINES, which appeal to a wide variety of men, much like...
A CAN OF BEER
How Do You Connect CARTMAN to MARILYN MANSON CONCERTS?
CARTMAN is fat little boy, who is a cartoon character, same as...
RALPH WIGGUM, who is in very close quarters with a cop, just like...
STEVE URKEL, who annoys us all, as do...
CLINTON SEX SCANDALS, which fill the news, as do...
MASSIVE HURRICANES, which are loud, create pandemonium and can cause bodily harm, just like...
MARILYN MANSON CONCERTS
How Do You Connect KENNY to HIGH-RANKING POLITICIANS?
KENNY doesn't have much money, and is prone to injury, much like...
SQUEEGEE KIDS, who have an obsession with cleaning, as do...
MCDONALDS EMPLOYEES, who have this job as they go through school, just like...
STRIPPERS, who don't mind the occasional nice comment or financial tip, just like...
WAITERS, who have to pretend they care about your well-being, as do...
HIGH-RANKING POLITICIANS
How Do You Connect MR. GARRISON to KATHY LEE GIFFORD?????
MR. GARRISON is, well, you know... just like...
RICHARD SIMMONS, who tends to hang around fat people, as does...
AN ICE CREAM MAN, who talks to a lot of kids, much like...
PEDOPHILES, who should all be locked up in prison, the same as...
O.J. SIMPSON, whose kids undoubtedly lead unusual childhoods, kinda like...
KATHY LEE GIFFORD
How Do You Connect STAN to WATCHING A CAR RACE?
STAN has a connection to puking, as do...
GRAVOL PILLS, which should be taken orally, as should...
FOOD, which satisifies your cravings, as does...
A CIGARETTE, which will eventually kill you, same as...
INSULTING MUSCULAR PEOPLE, which is an activity for the bored, as is...
WATCHING A CAR RACE
How Do You Connect MRS. CRABTREE to THE LEAD SINGER FROM PRODIGY?
MRS. CRABTREE is mean, loud, aggressive and can't understand you, just like...
PITBULL, who lives in a little house especially for it, just like...
A HOBO, who probably doesn't change clothing too often, nor do...
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES, who all have a lot more money than they know what to do with, similar to...
BILL GATES, who has people laugh at his hair, just like...
THE LEAD SINGER FROM PRODIGY
How Do You Connect IKE to THE CARTMAN CLAN HOMEPAGE?
IKE has a tendency to be kicked around, just like...
A SOCCER BALL, which is black and white all over, much like...
A ZEBRA, which is actually quite boring to watch, if you think about it, like...
GOLF, which has a lot of people being very quiet, similar to a...
LIBRARY, which is full of useless information that people read anyway, same as...
THE CARTMAN CLAN HOMEPAGE
How Do You Connect THE SOUTH PARK KIDS to COMPUTER NERDS?
THE SOUTH PARK KIDS always hang out together, much like...
GANG MEMBERS, who cause trouble if not properly controlled, similar to...
ESCAPED LUNATICS, who you should always be on the look-out for, same as...
RELIGIOUS FREAKS, who tend to stand on street corners and talk to you, just like...
STREET BEGGARS, who have TOO MUCH free time on their hands, same as...
COMPUTER NERDS
How Do You Connect CHEF to IDIOTS WHO STARE AT THE SUN?
CHEF always has lots of women wanting to get close to him, similar to...
THE BACKSTREET BOYS, who are always surrounding by people screaming madly, just like...
PEOPLE WITH SKIN DISEASES, who have no choice but to look funny, kinda like...
JERRY SPRINGER GUESTS, who have a high probability of getting roughed up, similar to...
MOSHERS, who often run the risk of getting screwed up for life, just like...
IDIOTS WHO STARE AT THE SUN
How Do You Connect MEPHISTO to VIOLENT PROTESTS?
MEPHISTO created a friend for himself, as would...
AN INSANE PERSON, who can go berserk and start foaming at the mouth, just like...
A RABID DOG, which you should really try and avoid, much like...
FLAMING BUILDINGS, which have a tendency to attract a crowd, just like...
A STREET FIGHT, which almost certainly ends with bloodshed, much like...
VIOLENT PROTESTS
How Do You Connect MR. HANKEY to HAIR LOSS?
MR. HANKEY reeks of disgusting bodily functions, as does...
A SUBWAY STATION BATHROOM, which is a place you want to spend as little time as possible in, similar to...
A DARK ALLEY, which is a spot where you're likely to find...
BIG, TOUGH GANGSTERS, who scare some people to the point where they pee their pants, much like...
A BLADDER PROBLEM, which is one downside of aging, as is...
HAIR LOSS
How Do You Connect TERRANCE AND PHILLIP to A HIPPIE CONVENTION?
TERRANCE AND PHILLIP are "Canadian heroes", much like...
NHL HOCKEY PLAYERS, who are a huge mix of many nationalities, sorta like...
INNER CITY SCHOOLS, which are not the places for rich, spoiled white kids. Neither are...
POLICE AUCTIONS, which offer "quality" items at low, low prices, much like...
WAL-MART, where you can always find a lot of happy faces, similar to...
A HIPPIE CONVENTION
How Do You Connect UNCLE JIMBO to GETTING AN ABORTION?
UNCLE JIMBO likes to kill things, just like...
TEXANS, who sometimes tend to use a lot of...
SWEARING, which can get you kicked out of a place like...
CHURCH, which is a place of worship. Some people tend to worship their...
TELEVISION, which has radiation that can render you sterile. So, next time, your girlfriend won't need to...
GET AN ABORTION
How Do You Connect MATT STONE & TREY PARKER to PEOPLE WHO MOLEST FARM ANIMALS?
MATT STONE & TREY PARKER caused an uproar of controversy, just like...
MARILYN MANSON, who decided to surgically increase his bust, just like...
PAMELA ANDERSON, whose television career is only based upon T&A, just like anyone on...
THE PLAYBOY TV STATION, which is an outlet for lonely single men, as is...
KIDDIE PORN, which should be permanently banned from the world, just like...
PEOPLE WHO MOLEST FARM ANIMALS
How Do You Connect WENDY to DRUNKEN IRISH SOCCER FANS?
WENDY has a tendency to get puked on, just like...
HOMELESS TRANSIENTS, who get very little food in their stomachs, just like...
ANOREXIC WOMEN, who always think they're damn fat, similar to...
DAMN FAT WOMEN, who, for some reason, always turn up on...
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, which is ticking time bomb of violence just waiting to go off, as are...
DRUNKEN IRISH SOCCER FANS
How Do You Connect TWEEK to SCRABBLE?
TWEEK constantly needs to fulful his caffeine fix, just like...
URBAN YUPPIES, who have brush cuts and coloured sunglasses, similar to...
A STEREOTYPICAL LESBIAN, which we rarely see, because it is politically incorrect, as is...
NAZISM, which is something that few people like, but we will probably never completely get rid of, kinda like...
PROSTITUTION, which can be considered America's Good Time Game, just like the game of...
SCRABBLE
How Do You Connect MR. HANKEY to HOWARD STERN?
MR. HANKEY is a dirty little thing that goes all over the place, making high-pitched squeals, similar to...
A NEW YORK CITY RAT, which normally survives on scraps of hot dogs and pizza crusts, just like...
A HOMELESS PERSON, which is something that's fun to laugh at as you walk down the streets, kinda like...
INCOHERENT RAMBLING LUNATICS, who often have drug problems and mental imbalances, sorta like...
GUESTS ON JERRY SPRINGER, and, well, this naturally leads into the idea of...
HOWARD STERN
How Do You Connect IKE to PEPSI?
IKE is a mumbling little Canadian, just like...
ME, and I am hopelessly white, similar to...
THE WHITE GUY, who is a Thespian in oh-so-many ways, just like...
HOMERCLIES, who's got major profanity problems, kinda like...
COOLIE WONDER, who is a shill to big corporations, an example of which is...
PEPSI
Don't feel bad if you didn't get this one; it was entirely an inside joke.
How Do You Connect NED to SISKEL AND EBERT?
NED was in Vietnam, as was...
MUD, which is brown and mushy, as is...
YOU-KNOW-WHAT, which is something people like to avoid talking about if possible, just like...
THE TRENCHCOAT MAFIA, which is a group that was completely unknown until a large amount of deaths occurred, just like...
THE BRANCH DAVIDIANS, which had one particular member who very few people agreed with, which resembles the former duo of...
SISKEL AND EBERT
How Do You Connect JIMBO to the BOSTON BRUINS?
JIMBO likes to "thin out the numbers" of certain populations, similar to...
SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC, who seems to be hated by a vast number of people worldwide, kinda like...
BILL GATES, who runs a multinational conglomorate, just like...
TED TURNER, who has a lot to do with the world of professional wrestling, regardless of having little real knowledge of the "sport", kinda like hockey to...
DON CHERRY, who is associated with...
THE BOSTON BRUINS
How Do You Connect CARTMAN to KING TUT?
CARTMAN is a big thing that sucks up everything in sight and makes a lot of noise, like...
A VACUUM CLEANER, that has a funny spelling, kinda like...
BAZAAR, where you can pick up all kinds of weird stuff, such as...
PINK PANTS, which are pretty gay, just like...
A GREEK GOD, which is something ancient that I don't give half a damn about, like...
KING TUT
If you think you can stump me, send me the name of any South Park character and the person or thing you'd like me to connect to it in 6 steps, and email them to me.
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