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CARTMAN'S "PISSED-OFF PILLS" Are you irritated by rashes, hippies, poor people, or fat jokes? Don't these things just make you want to punch a wall? Don't they just PISS YOU OFF? Never fear! The new Pissed Off Pills will reduce your anger by at least 200%!!* Officially endorsed by extremely pissed off little boy Eric Cartman, these pills are the miracle cure for your extreme rage! $45 per handful * Based on non-existent lab testing |
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McCORMICK BRAND PAINKILLERS Do you occasionally suffer from pains in the toes, sternum, spleen, kidney, scalp or lower back area, or death? McCormick Brand PainKillers are your solution! Once you get over the initial fear that these can actually make your condition worse, and taste suspiciously like cut-up pickles, you'll see that McCormick Brand PainKillers will rid you of your problem, permanently! Price: Anything you can contribute is appreciated Sold in bottles of 69 capsules each |
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STAN MARSH'S NO-PUKERS It's a busy world out there. And though few will admit it, we all suffer from projectile vomiting at one point or another. Gone untreated, it will affect you or someone you care about very soon. Prevent that, with Stan Marsh's No-Pukers, a specially formulated pill filled with specially formulated.. uh.. stuff. Now, you may be wondering how these little miracles can work. Well, Stan Marsh's No-Pukers seal off your esophagus tightly and irreversibly, to assure that no vomit ever rockets its way out of your mouth. We think your family will have a much easier time dealing with finding a good funeral home than they would have had trying to deal with being puked upon. So make the move now, before it's too late! Side Effects: Shortness of breath, inability to intake food, death Sold in packs of 4-6. Hey, 1 is all you need! Price: The ultimate one |
