Characters: 
 

Time: 

Year 2032, 4:10 PM. 
 

Scene I

Mary (standing in front of mirror): Work hard all my life, for what? To be robbed by tinkering lab fools. We didn't come this far for nothing. I'll show that poor-excuse-for-a-man what us women can do. (Door signal buzzes, she quickly opens door.) Come right in, mister, you've got alot of explaining to do. (Refuses to shake his extended hand.)

Salesman (sits firmly on sofa): Ms. Noel, Urolife sent me to answer all your questions. I will come to the point now. We fully stand by our agreement; whatever option you decide upon will be expedited immediately. Company policy requires that I make out a full report of what transpired including a product inspection. (In sensitive tone) I realize this has been tramatic for you, Ms. Noel, please start from the beginning. When did you first notice a defect?
 

II

Mary (eyes glazed; struggling to recall): As required by law I informed my employer six months ago of my contract with Urolife. Urolife set the date and of course I scheduled today off. Woke up early this morning to make myself and the surroundings ready for a 9AM delivery. Urolife was punctual. I signed the receipt register and took possession of the bundle. I laid the bundle in a cradle I had set up on sofa, (pointing to his seat) where you're sitting, pulled back the blanket and hoistered it to my shoulder. I held it there maybe ten minutes before I finally set eyes on it. When I finally did I almost became nauseous. (Fighting to maintain composure.) It had jet black hair and dark brown eyes. A large spot, about the size of a wafer, marred the side of its neck. The nightmare did not end there. On its left hand, one finger was missing. My God, I could sue you bastards for emotional distress alone!

Salesman (prepared for that last remark): Ms. Noel, please. We are going to work this out to your complete satisfaction. In fact I am authorized to grant you a year's free supply of nursing needs.

Mary (calming down): Well, that's more like it. I am a hard working woman and deserve the best my money can buy. I won't settle for damaged goods.

Salesman: I agree you shouldn't. And you won't have to. Believe me, Ms. Noel, these kinds of errors are very rare in Urolife. This is only the third such recorded incident in eight years of excellent performance. We have delivered close to a million thus far.

Mary (nearing content): Oh, my dear, where's my manners? Would you care for something to drink, Mister? (searching for his surname.)

Salesman: Petri. No, thank you. I would like to conduct my inspection now.

Mary: Certainly. I'll bring it in. (Carries from back room a small cradle.)

Salesman (he removes blanket and begins visual inspection while writing observation in a small notebook.): Black hair, brown eyes, discolouration--right side of neck, missing index finger, left hand. No other external defects present.
 

III

Mary (in business-like reply): It doesn't make much noise. Definitely want that feature included in the next one.

Salesman: I'll mention that in my report. Does this mean you have decided upon an exchange?

Mary: You mentioned options before. What are my options?

Salesman: We outlined four options for your choosing.  Option #1: A full refund. Option #2: An exchange for a product close to your original specifications.  Option #3: Reinvirtro. If you decide upon this one we'll allow you extra features at no cost. Plus a year's supply of nursing needs. Bear in mind, there would be another six month wait. Option #4: Keep defective product and receive a partial refund. We would still provide a free year's supply of nursing needs. Whatever you decide---you have our full support.

Mary (confused and excited): How much time do I have to make up my mind?

Salesman: If it were up to Urolife we would grant you as much time as you wanted. But the law state we cannot
 dispose of defected products after thirty days. You now have twenty-nine days to decide. Has your husband seen it yet?

Mary (fear stricken): No! Joseph will be home soon. I have no doubt he'll agree with my assessment.

Saleman: Best to discuss this with him before you contact me. The law requires consent from both parties. Here's my card. (hands to it to her.) Call at anytime. Urolife personnel are instructed to contact me day or night when a decision is reached.

Mary (staring at card): In a day or so, I'll be in touch.

Salesman (standing up from couch, walking towards door): On the behalf of Urolife, Ms. Noel, I deeply apologize for this. We promise it will all work out for the best.
 

IV

Mary (wearing a fake smile): You've been very kind, Mr. Petri, I'm sure you're right. Have a good evening. (Closing door behind, she leans back against it with both hands on face.)

Same as scene one. Time is 6:36 PM. Joseph is home.

Joseph (opening door): Mare, I'm home. How's our little bundle of joy doing?

Mary (sitting on couch; near grief): It's fine. I'm the one that's a wreck.

Joseph (grinning): Been keeping ya busy. (sitting beside her, arm around her neck) All that energy is from my side of the family. 

Mary: (reaching over to kiss him): Glad you're home, handsome. We really need to talk.

Joseph: First things first. Let me see him.

Mary (becoming agitated): He's not what you expect.

Joseph (looking serious): What do you mean?

Mary (rising from the couch, heading towards bedroom): See for your self. (Bringing in cradle.)

Joseph (removing blanket from baby's face): Oh, he's so handsome like his wonderful father. Just look at him.

Mary (in shock): I should say not!

Joseph (puzzled): Mary, what's wrong with you?

Mary: Nothing is wrong with me. (wigging her fingers) Got all my fingers. Are you blind Joseph? It's a damn freak.
 

V

Joseph (confused): A what?

Mary (picking up the boy): See, Joseph, the hair, the eyes--- all wrong. The spot on the neck. The missing finger. I didn't order any of this. It's a mistake. How could I love a mistake? (begins sobbing.)

Joseph (comforting her): Mare, the hair and eyes are nothing to worry about, my grandfather had similiar features. No big deal. That spot is merely a birthmark of some sort. We could get that removed by laser when he's older. And the missing finger will not stop him from doing whatever he wants in life.

Mary (pushing away from him angrily): This is isn't some damn civics class. Save that crap for your virgin students. We're talking about our life here. Could you face the world with a freak as your son?

Joseph (temper rising): I could face the world with that boy as my son, yes. He isn't a freak, just a slight bit different. It won't be very difficult for him to adjust with our support. But that's not what I'm hearing from you. You're too worried about whether he'll go over well at one of your corporate tea parties. Your boss can kiss my ass!

Mary (indignant): Because of my boss we get to live in this expensive place. We certainly couldn't afford it on your help-the-world teaching salary. You should think on that before biting the hand that feeds you. 

Joseph (furious): You're a real piece of work. Abandon your firstborn. Defend your boss over your husband. What's next? Maybe poison your mother, huh?

Mary: I've worked hard all my life for what I got. I don't have to answer to you or any man. Am I just supposed to sit here and be happy with something I do not want?

Joseph: Mare, I think you're overreacting to this whole thing. Can't you give it more thought. 

Mary: More thought isn't going to make my baby beautiful.

Joseph: My grandfather had those features. There's nothing wrong with them.

Mary: That's your opinion and your cross to bear. I want what I paid for; nothing less.
 

VI

Joseph (ready to give up): Fine, but can't we at least see if the doctors are able to do something for him.

Mary: Alright and if it's not to my satisfaction we'll dump it and start over again. We still have twenty-nine days. I don't plan to wait around forever.

Joseph (baby becoming cranky, picks him up, puts him on shoulder): There, there now. I'm here. Don't cry.

Mary (looking disgusted): I'm turning in early. It's bottle is in the kitchen. Keep it quiet, we have a big day tomorrow.

Joseph: Good night, Mary.

Mary (turning away without a word.)