Wasted Time
Well baby, there you stand
With your little head, down in your hand
Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening
again
Your baby's gone, and you're all alone
and it looks like the end.
And you're back out on the street.
And you're tryin' to remember.
How will you start it over?
You don't know what became.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.
You never thought you'd be alone this far
down the line
And I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time
The autumn leaves have got you thinking
about the first time that you fell
You didn't love the boy too much, no, no
you just loved the boy to well, Farewell
So you live from day to day, and you dream
about tomorrow, oh.
And the hours go by like minutes
and the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something to
make them go away
And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind from wondrin' what
I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time
Ooh, another love has come and gone
Ooh, and the years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
"Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can
get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find , that it wasn't really
wasted time
*Song playing Wasted Times by The Eagles*
This song is very important to me. I sat on the porch that I slept on when I was using drugs and homeless. I listened to this song over and over. I knew something needed to change but I wasn't sure of what. This song really describes me and my past.
So your here to find out about me. You mean you looked at my likes and dislikes and read my whole page and don't know who I am? Or did you just come directly here and skipped the rest of my page? Tsk Tsk! Well, I am hard to explain and just when you think you have figured me out, I change. I am always changing whether I want to or not. I lost the luxury of denial awhile ago so often I am forced to look at my behavior, my faults, my thinking and make changes as necessary.
I learned a long time ago that I am what I label myself to be. So I would say first, I am a woman. I am strong but not always confident. I do wonderful things for people but often make mistakes. I get angry when things don't go as planned but I cry when I realize it's fear not anger I am feeling. I am often scared but it doesn't stop me from what I want to accomplish.
I am a recovering person. So what does this mean? Well, I have been clean and sober from drugs and alcohol since September 13, 1989. I was sexually abused as a child and have been in recovery since November of 1992. I am living now instead of surviving and have a very exciting, terrifying, exilirating time.
I am a mother. I have two intelligent, beautiful children. I became a mother for the first time Novemer 11, 1992. Upon looking a my brand new baby son, I was struck with a realization. I was to be responsible for the development of a human being. Scary me!! It has been the toughest, most mistake filled experience I have ever encountered. You can read all the books and go to all the classes but nothing ever prepares you for the responsibility of raising a memeber of the human race. I apologize when I make mistakes and continue to try to be the best mom I know how to be. When I became a mother to a daughter, October 3, 1996, new feelings emerged. I was to raise a girl that would become a woman in the year 2114. I am not sure what the future holds but I know that my responsibility is great. Scary me!!
I am a wife. I would not know how to begin to explain that one. I love my husband and I can't imagine a life with out him. I imagine a time where I dance with my son at his wedding or hold my daughter's first child and can't visualize this with out him. We have been through a lot of things in our marriage. We have had extreme joy and deep sorrow. We have made mistakes and we have accomplished great things. I have learned that love isn't enough when it comes to a relationship. I takes love but also patience, communication and humility. Humilty meaning willingness to apologize when you are wrong.
I am a student. I go to college and am currently working on my alcohol and drug counseling certificate, which is an Associates of Applied Science degree. My major goal will be a Doctorate in Social Work so I can eventually teach at a university. The only way I have found that I can use my past in a positive way is to help people with my experiances. School has done so many things for me. It has allowed me to be that woman I mentioned earlier. I can be me there and I can stop being the care giver to every one else.
I am a Certified Nurses Aide presently. I work in a nursing home. It is quite the complex job and has taught me a great deal about the differences in people. It has taught me what dignity is about and honoring people's individuality.
Well, by all means, this is only a part of who Michelle is, so I am currently working to add a page I call, "The Journey". This will be a page about the continuation of my journey and more about who I am. In the mean time you can take a look at my poems. There's only a few now. I will add more lately. Thanks for coming by and if you feel the need to share with me sign my
guest book. TTFN
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