By Suzy
Copyright 1999
Early the next morning, Lou rose showered and dressed in the clothes she had bought what seemed such a long time ago in Davenport, then walked purposefully from the house towards Doc Barnes surgery.
Her mind full of the turmoil she had been wrestling with all night, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other the whole way to the surgery, knowing that what she was about to say to her beloved husband would not only break his heart but seeing his reaction would shatter her tender heart as well. Pausing for breath as she pushed open the surgery door to confront him, in her heart she knew she was doing the right thing, she knew that she must be cruel to be kind and leave Kid in the capable hands of their friends, if only to protect and nurture the fragile baby growing slowly inside her. Now all she had to do was convince Kid that she believed what he had said to her.
Smiling weakly as she entered the surgery to find Buck seated wearily at the side of Kid's bed, she crossed to her husbands side. Buck stood when he saw Lou enter the room and wordlessly pulled her into a tight embrace. Placing a comforting kiss on her forehead, he released her and walked slowly to the back of the room, reluctant to leave her just in case she needed him.
She was unaware of the passage of time as she sat by Kid's bedside. Her loving eyes hungrily drinking in the sight of his features, like a thirsty man emerging from the desert
'I thought I told you to leave me alone' Kid spoke hoarsely, the sound of his voice startling her already jangled nerves.
'I've come to ask you for a divorce' Lou spoke firmly, belying her splintered emotions
'You'll have it Lou, as soon as I am able, I will sign anything you like' he nodded his head
'Jimmy and I will be leaving later today' she watched Kid's eyes carefully 'After all, there is no point either of us staying here any longer.'
'I hope you will both be very happy together Lou, you deserve some happiness.' he spoke almost absently as he let his eyes drift shut 'Lou, I'm really tired can you leave me now'
'Sure Kid, I just came to say goodbye' Lou swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat as she spoke. She turned on her hell and walked briskly from the room before Kid could see her tears. If she had waited a moment longer, she would have seen Kid's own silent tear, tracking a silent path to wet the pillow under his head.
Buck watched torn between following the fragile Lou ad staying with the man whose heart was breaking. In the end he moved to the side of Kid's bed, knowing that Kid would hate him seeing the great racking sobs that currently engulfed him. Buck took both Kid's hands in his and sat at the side of the bed.
'Why didn't you fight for her Kid?' the events he had just witnessed were beyond Bucks comprehension
'Their minds are made up Buck, I should never have taken her from him in the first place.' Kid spoke trying to perpetuate the lie he had started
'She was never his, she has always been yours, you two are like two parts of the one whole, different but the same, she needs you.' Buck finished
'No she needs a husband that can stand by her side and walk with her, ride with her, or even just be the man she needs.' Kid spoke slowly and deliberately 'That is not me anymore'
'You're making a big mistake Kid.' Buck spoke 'She will never be happy with anyone but you.'
'I want to be alone Buck' Kid stated flatly
Buck rose and left his friend to wallow in his own misery.
Less than two hours later, Lou was seated waiting for Jimmy in the way station's surrey ready to leave her husband. Buck stood beside her making sure she was comfortable after helping her into the vehicle.
'Buck will you look after him for me please?' Lou spoke her tears overflowing
'You didn't have to ask Lou, I will' Buck took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles
'You look after yourself Lou. If you need anything, anything at all you only have to ask' he looked deeply into her eyes and then suddenly released her hands and walked away from the surrey. Lou didn't have to guess what had caused Buck's simmering anger to return. Jimmy was standing on the other side of the surrey waiting to start the journey. They all made their goodbyes and stood waving as Jimmy drove the surrey away from their home.
'We need a plan boys' Teaspoon spoke to Buck and Cody 'I think he needs to be at home' Teaspoon finished
'He needs to be with his wife' Buck spoke bitterly
'Buck are you going to fight us the whole way' Teaspoon almost cursed 'She told him this morning that she wants a divorce, how is supposed to go on, let alone get well after that' he turned his tearfilled eyes on the others
Of all of them Buck seemed to be the one that was finding Kid's injuries hardest to deal with, and seeing his pain and confusion was almost the undoing of the surviving express station members. Maybe if Ike and Noah hadn't been killed, maybe then he would have been able to keep Kid's accident in perspective, but his emotional outbursts were completely out of character for him. They knew that this latest tragedy had pushed him well past him emotional breaking point. Rachel stepped past Teaspoon and Cody and took Buck into her warm embrace, she held him briefly, stroking his sleek black hair before she led him to the verandah.
Cody and Teaspoon watched them walk away in silence until Cody turned to the man they all thought of as a father 'Kid and Lou will survive this, but will he' Cody's ice blue eyes glistened with unshed tears.
On to Chapter Nine
