Chapelsnap town directory

Note: A majority of the Chapelsnap population reside in the Chapelsnap Home for Paraplegics. The center's webpage is still under construction, and, as it stands, it's residents, nearly 200 in all, are not yet listed.

Adolf Aaronson

runs the Aaronson Mortuary. He resides on the Chapelsnap cemetary in the very large brick house on the southwest corner of it's perimeter, with his sons Reggie and Mike, his wife Glorina, and her son, Bill Oakenthorpe.

James "Jimmy" Chonga

is Chapelsnap's one man mardi gras. He rock and rolls all night, and sleeps every day. Call him if you need a lift out of town. "I always love company!" smiles one-armed Jimmy.

Vito DiBondino

is Chapelsnap's business investor. He can be seen every day at different times at Sperling's for some of Frank Sperling's obscenely delicious pancakes.

Clint Eagleton

is Chapelsnap's one man fire department. What would we do without him? "Burn to death!" Clint is wont to joke.

Shubert Fieffer

is Chapelsnap's favorite but controversial author. Click HERE to see some of his recent works.

Ray Gilbert

is the proprietor of Chapelsnap's only topless bar THE BOOBY HATCH (formerly 'The Breast Western'). He is the butt of many jokes, but, as he says with a grin,"I guess I'm the joke of many butts!".

Cletus Hackford

runs both of Chapelsnap's Dairy Farms. Keep milkin' 'em, Cletus!

Martin Iambic

runs Lily's, a do-it-yourself Mulch Farm. A millionaire by good luck, Martin is currently seeking a wife. See his personal add HERE

Rutherford Juntha

is Professor of Anthropology at Chapelsnap Community College. A stunning lecturer, he describes his search for Bigfoot as "nearly complete."

Sebastian Karakas

describes himself as the only Chapelsnapper with a handlebar mustache. Well, congratulations, Sebastian.

Tito Marinara

is Chapelsnap's infamous artisan. Known for such sculptures as "Genitals-a-Poppin'!" and "The Martyrdom of Saint Nostril", Mr. Marinara searches high and low for new ideas. Usually low.

Shawna McPoodle

is Chapelsnap's resident nay-sayer. Less attractive younger sister of Chapelsnap's only 'film' star, Sexy McPoodle, Shawna is embittered by her less than perfunctory appearance. Some people can get over their hair lip and cleft pallette, but, as Shawna would say, "NAY!"

When not at the easel, Shawna can be found on Roosevelt Street, handing out Jack T. Chick pamphlets with her good arm or servicing at the gourd stand in SUPERPRODUCE at the corner of Plump and Juicy.

Randy Nobs

runs the Secane 'Fill 'em up'. Born under a bad sign, Randy lives up to his name- both of them- oggling the employees of the Shop n' Laugh Department Store/Comedy Club on 3rd and Juicy.