Three months ago, Mansur Darvesh’s household was abuzz with his sister’s forthcoming visit. Together the families made plans for a 25-strong baraat from here to Karachi for a favourite niece’s wedding in February. Now, what’s staring them in the face is a quiet affair in Dubai, with a few elders from both sides attending.
“It’s this *#@&$%#* L K Advani who is to blame for breaking up brothers and sisters,’’ says Mansurbhai. “He wants to beat the Congress record of three wars with Pakistan.’’
Gulf countries are likely to see a lot of Indo-Pak activity now, since the two countries are no longer issuing visas to citizens of the other country. Though many Indians and Pakistanis already find it easier to visit each other via the Gulf, this is a luxury enjoyed largely by a privileged class. For ordinary people, the government’s new policy only spells gloom.
The word sums up the mood in Fatema’s family — two cousins are to be married in January, and their favourite aunt can’t travel from Karachi. This was to be her first visit since she married there 25 years ago. She had been planning the visit since March 2000. The weddings were fixed after she had her visa in hand. Another sister was to come down from the US in honour of the Karachi sister.
Now, the weddings will be held without the grand family reunion. “The charm is gone,’’ says Fatema, who has seen one set of Karachi cousins being deported from the airport three days after September 11, “on some technical ground. They too had planned this visit for years. Those who are determined to travel, bribe their way across. We ordinary people suffer.’’
H Memon refused to bribe the Mumbai police, so his sister, who visited in August, for the first time in 22 years, could not meet her relatives in a Gujarat village. Her sons were to follow this month, but it’s now out of the question.
Jaiveer Jaisinghani’s daughter is to marry two months from now. He’s not postponing the wedding, though he knows his many relatives won’t be able to make it from Sind. He’s seen a cousin cut short his visit and rush home, as soon as the stoppage of the Samjhauta Express was announced. “Ordinary Pakistanis will be hard hit,” says he, “especially Hindus, many of whom come here to see sick relatives or for treatment.’’
Patel wants to end cross-border marriages. “Who wants the CID dropping in all the time?’’ he asks. “We’ll look for good grooms here,’’ he says. But won’t that break families? “So it’ll be one more Partition,’’ shrugs the young man. “We have to forget we have families there and be content with brief e-mails saying ‘All’s well’.”
The e-mails hide the inner turmoil. “They are as anxious as we are that there shouldn’t be a war,’’ says Memon.
For many Indians and Pakistanis, a trip across the border has always meant years of saving and planning, with trips up and down respective capitals, being pushed around by insensitive police and embassy staff.
“By the time the new rules are revoked, their visas will expire and they’ll have to start from scratch. And with reduced embassy staff, fewer visas will be issued,’’ says Shabnam, who’s married a Pakistani and lived in both countries. “The government’s rash political gimmickry will play havoc with families who’ve nothing to do with politics.’’ Shabnam and her husband have chosen to retain their citizenship and plan to find jobs in a third country to be able to live together. “Not all Indian brides have that kind of choice,’’ she says.
Brides across the border will now have no support system, she says. There existed the last resort of coming home. But the breakdown of travel has left them with no option but put up with hellish marriages. “With a near-war situation, one wrong step on the part of the bride and she’ll have to hear the taunt, ‘Dekha, aakhir ladki kiski hai?’ (See, after all, whose girl is she?),” says Shabnam.
Shabnam foresees a stronger resolve on the part of Muslims in Bharatiya Janata Party-ruled states like Uttar Pradesh and Gujarat, where Muslim youth face a higher risk of being picked up under the Prevention of Terrorism Ordinance, to marry their daughters to Pakistani boys. Even if it means communicating only through phone/mail under the watchful ears and eyes of the Inter Services Intelligence. Life has always been tough for families divided by the border; the two governments just made it tougher.
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