Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

FIREMAN JOKES

AND

FIREMEN HUMOR

PAGE 4

FI R EM A N J O KE S

Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

Pin Puller
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

Here Kitty Kitty
One evening, a resident of a small rural town called the local volunteer fire department to request assistance in removing her cat from a tree.
Since this was a "questionable" call, the fire control dispatcher called the fire chief at home to ask if he wanted to respond. The chief said sure, call out the department, since it was early evening and it shouldn't be a problem for the volunteers to respond.
The fire department responded with a rescue truck which had an extension ladder. The tree, however, was too tall and willowy to support the weight of the extension ladder. Rather than send men back to the fire hall to bring the aerial ladder truck, one of the firefighters suggested an alternate course of action.
Two of the firefighters supported the ladder while a third climbed high enough to tie a rope around the tree at about half its height.
The other end of the rope was tied to a trailer hitch on a pickup truck, with the truck slowly driven forward, forcing the tree to bend over.
One firefighter was poised to grab the cat as soon as it was within his reach. The knot securing the rope to the trailer hitch slipped free.
The cat, was last seen airborne, headin' south.....

If H 2 0 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P

Hazmat Identifing Method
How firefighter's identify a HAZMAT chemical using the new:
"Tri-Cop-Scope Method"
Method 1. Officer standing/Car running: Not hazardous
Method 2. Officer unconscious/Car running: Toxic fumes.
Method 3. Officer unconscious/Car stalled: Oxygen displacing chemical.
Method 4. Officer/Car both melting: Acidic chemical.
Method 5. Officer/Car on fire: Extremely flammable.

Bikers
There were two guys on a motercycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons.
Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked.
The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him, "are either of them showing any life signs?"
The farmer said, "Well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way."

Clock Speed
A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks.
After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean?
"That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour." says the devil.
"I don't see the Chiefs clock anywhere?" the fireman says.
The devil replied, "Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we're using it for a fan."

Why do firemen wear "red" suspenders? To hold up their pants. Duh.

You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If....
Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
Your firehouse has wheels.
You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.
You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.
That outhouse fire was with entrapment.
You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.
At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.
Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.
The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy.
Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.

Breaking News!
There is a report that a 2 seater private plane has crashed into a cemetary in Poland. The fire department has reported recovering over 300 bodies and are still digging.

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and 3 to chop a hole in the roof.

Ghostly Tones
The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars.
However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave.
As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "Don't worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out."

Why should you avoid using the bathroom after the chief? Two words: Butt pimples!!

Go To:

Page Five
VOTE FOR THIS SITE AT:

The Creation Of The Firefighter

Other sites by reddredd.web.com 1999-2001

N E W

YOU CLICKY HERE