JC rubs his temples with his fingers while he stands in line waiting to use the phone. He was next, but AJ had just gotten on the phone. This was going to take a while and JC knew it. AJ was talking to his mom about something and JC was jumping up and down as AJ stares at him.
“Would you stop that?” AJ says to him covering the phone.
“Why? You do it all the time.”
“I do not jump around. YOU do that all the time not me.”
JC frowns as AJ goes back to the phone. AJ had been on edge with JC for the past three days after Polly left. He didn’t understand why since AJ was the one who called Polly, but he guessed it was the fact that AJ was finally thinking through what he had done. He was probably worried that JC would screw up again and finally push Polly over the edge. JC wasn’t going to make that mistake again he was sure of it. It killed him to know that he had done that to her. He had called her everyday since she left too, but today he had to call someone. He had to make sure Justin wasn’t screwing up his life or worse getting himself killed by LaRusso.
AJ hangs up the phone and then hands it to JC.
“I’m gonna go meet up with Derek and Chase in the gym I’ll see you there ok?”
“Ok,” JC says thinking about how much he hated working out around AJ and Derek. Chase just sat there, but JC’s muscles weren’t as big as AJ’s let alone Derek’s. He dials the familiar number and lets it ring before someone picks it up, “Justin?”
“Hold on a minute. Justin, phone.”
“Hello?” Justin says into the phone.
“Justin, it’s JC.”
“JC? Hey, how are you man?”
“I’m doing good. You?”
“Great, better then ever.”
“Are you still seeing Vanessa?”
"Yeah, she’s here now. Wanna say hi? Say hi Vanessa!”
“Hi,” a voice says from the phone and then disappears.
“She’s gotta go to rehearsal now though,” Justin says and JC hears a kissing sound, “Bye baby,” Justin says.
“You know what I’m going to say don’t you?” JC say.
“Yeah, yeah blah blah blah,” Justin says.
“I don’t care anymore Justin. She’s your girl not mine.”
“Good, because she is the best sex ever.”
“Jesus Justin.”
“Oh no I mean it,” Justin says and JC could actually tell he was probably smiling.
“You aren’t just using her for that are you?”
“No. I would never do that to her. She’s my baby. I’m going to Philadelphia over the break and staying with her.”
“What did Britney say?”
“She doesn’t know yet. If she does she’s probably afraid she would get shot if she said anything to Vanessa. Those are some scary cousin’s she has. I would never want to piss off Rachel. She would probably have the mob after me or something.”
“Yeah, she would.”
“Did you talk to anyone else?”
“No.”
“No one?”
“No.”
“I feel special then.”
“Guess who is here with me?”
“Who?”
“AJ.”
“McLean?”
“Yeah.”
“They announced he was going to rehab, but I didn’t even stop to think maybe he would be in yours. Did he jump you yet?”
“No, he’s actually I really good guy, smart too.”
“Makes sense he doesn’t act that way, but he is.”
“Justin.”
“I know stop insulting people.”
"Justin, I mean it stop the shit.”
“The what?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“Oh, that. I’m cutting down.”
“You’ve been cutting down for months and it’s not much.”
"I am now though. I don’t do it when I’m with Vanessa, honest.”
“What happens when she leaves for a few days?”
“I get depressed and I do a few lines. Just a few, C, honest.”
“Please just stop, ok. Some girl died here a few days ago from an overdose on it and I don’t feel like loosing you. I’m the one who got you started on the shit anyway.”
“No you didn’t I just found your stash. I let myself take it. You didn’t force me to snort it ok. Get over it.”
“Justin, you’re my little brother basically and I worry about you.”
“JC just… I gotta go, JC.”
“Ok.”
“Ok, bye JC,” Justin says then hangs up the phone.
JC sighs and hangs up the phones. He always blamed himself for Justin’s problem and that was because it was his fault. If he hadn’t left that bag sitting on the dresser Justin would of never found it and he would of never started to snort coke. In some way it was JC’s fault and he was never going to forget that.
JC walks down the hall and into the gym where Derek is sitting on an incline bench and AJ is doing pull up.
“I just talked to Justin,” he says sitting down next to Derek.
“So what happened now?” AJ asks, “It’s not Ness is it.”
“No…hey how do you know?”
“We all do have eyes you know. Ness doesn’t care. She hates Britney. She would love nothing more then to destroy her fake happiness.”
“Is that…”
“No, she likes him too.”
“Ok, but anyway he is still doing it.”
“The coke?”
“Yeah, when he gets desperate and depressed.”
“Isn’t that how you started?” Derek asks.
“Yeah.”
AJ shakes his head and walks over to them, “He’s gonna get himself killed.”
“I know. I’m trying to get him to stop, but what can I do in here?”
“Not much,” Derek says.
“Exactly.”
“It’s up to you man,” AJ says, “But I would call someone like…what’s his name? The short one?”
“Chris,” JC looks up at him and smiles slightly.
“Yeah, tell him to watch over the oh arrogant one.”
“He’s not that bad.”
“Whatever ya say.”
“You think I should call someone later?”
“Yeah, there’s not always good coke going around in the world. Even if he is careful with how much, it doesn’t guaranty that he will be safe.”
“Yeah,” Derek says, “Mary is a perfect example of it.”
“Guys, drop that subject,” JC says, “Hey where’s Chase been today?”
“Uhhh,” Derek looks at AJ who shrugs and takes a step back, “he didn’t tell you?”
“No, what?”
“He got out today.”
“What?”
“Today was his last day. He left this morning.”
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“Maybe you were on the phone.”
“But he still should of fucking told me!”
“Don’t worry he’ll be back.”
“What do you mean?”
“Chase has been here three other times.”
“Relapses?”
“Yeah, and he relapses bad. Last time he came back they were afraid his blood was poisoned. He’s damn lucky he hasn’t gotten HIV yet.”
“I thought he liked me though.”
“I don’t know man. Chase has his ways of saying goodbye to everyone and maybe his way for you was not to tell you,” AJ says.
“That makes no sense.”
“I know. I was trying to make it better, but it wasn’t going to happen.”
“Did you call Polly today?” Derek asks.
“No, and if I call her I can’t call Chris. What should I do?”
“Don’t pull me into this,” AJ says, “She’ll hit me if I answer wrong. If she hits you it won’t hurt me.”
“Thanks a lot AJ.”
“Welcome. No, honestly call Chris she will understand. She knows about Justin’s problem.”
"She does.”
“Yeah, he was walking around the pool high as a kite one day and she pulled him away from it then took him back to his room. Dumbass could of fallen in the pool and drowned like that.”
“When was this?” JC asks eyes getting wide.
“I dunno. Maybe you were high too or not there.”
“Jesus, I’m gonna call Chris later.”
“Good idea,” Derek says.
“AJ, do you have Polly’s U2 CD?”
“Would everyone just leave me alone with the CD stuff. Did she tell you to ask me that?”
“No, I wanted to listen to it.”
“Oh, yeah ok I have it. I’ll give it to you later.”
“Ok.”
JC walks down the hallway with his headphones on bouncing his head a long to the beat of “New Year’s Day” as he makes his way to the phone. He leans against the wall as the one person on the phone in front of him. “With or Without You” begins to play as the person hangs up the phone and he picks it up dialing Chris’s number.
“See the stone set in your eyes. See the thorn twist in your side. I wait for you.”
“Hello,” JC says as Chris picks up, “Chris it’s JC.”
“JC? Oh my God how are you?”
“Good surprisingly good.”
“Justin said you called him earlier.”
“Yeah, just checking up on him.”
“Yeah, he said you were stuck with AJ McLean.”
“Yeah, he’s cool though. Listen I just wanted to tell you to watch over Justin. He’s been doing his coke still.”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me he was still doing coke on occasions when he got depressed.”
“Are you sure he wasn’t lying because he’s been fine lately.”
“No, Chris I mean it. You yelled at him that day when I ODed about him having it.”
“But I made him dump it out in front of me. He doesn’t have it JC.”
“Yes he does I’m telling you he…”
“He doesn’t have it, JC!”
“What the hell is your problem?”
“I’m making sure we don’t loose another member like we lost you ok.”
“Lost a member I’m still here.”
“Partly.”
“You don’t think I’m going to make it do you?”
“No,” Chris says flatly.
“Sleight of hand and twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I wait...without you.”
“I’m going to be fine, ok.”
“JC, no one ever gets over this stuff. It’s always there. Like AJ, has a disease. He is never going to get…”
“Shut the hell up ok!”
“I’m just telling you what I learned in college.”
“Fuck your college psychology courses because you know nothing about what it is like to be addicted. You got it! You know fucking nothing!”
“JC…”
“With or without you. With or without you.”
“You know what I’m gonna make it and I’m going to get better just to show you I can and AJ will too because the sad fact is you are not doing anything to help me and Justin. You never helped ether of us, none of you did. You thought about yourselves. You already lost me…how long is it till you lose Justin?”
”Through the storm we reach the shore. You give it all but I want more. And I'm waiting for you”
“I’m not going to lose Justin. I am not giving up on Justin.”
“Oh, so that’s it you gave up on me. You fucking gave up on me and let me almost kill myself? Is that what you did?”
“No, JC…”
“Well fuck this. You wanna know why? Because I fucking give up on you. When I come back to the group don’t ever fucking come near me. For your sake I hope that Justin isn’t doing drugs, but he is. Go bury yourself some more in your company. When you do that and turn your back, that is when the real shit goes down. Only now Justin doesn’t even have me.”
“With or without you. With or without you. I can't live. With or without you.”
“JC…”
“Goodbye, Chris,” JC says and hangs up the phone.
JC walks outside and sits on the porch of the rehab center looking up at the night sky. He hadn’t looked up at the stars in a long time. His whole body hurt for some reason and his head was pounding. He should of called Polly.
“And you give yourself away. And you give yourself away. And you give. And you give. And you give yourself away.”
JC looks down at his watch later and realizes it is almost midnight. He stands up and stretches out his back then crack his neck as he notices a figure walking up the driveway toward the rehab center. Well, the figure was more or less stumbling up the driveway falling a few times only to get back up. JC stares at the figure as it gets closer and suddenly his eyes widen.
“Oh my God,” he says and runs back down the driveway to meet the figure grabbing it by the shoulders, “Chase?”
“My hands are tied. My body bruised, she's got me with. Nothing left to win. And nothing else to lose.”
“I really fucked up this time, huh?” Chase says as JC starts to drag him down the rest of the driveway toward the rehab center.
JC looks down at his right arm and cringes as he notices the blood running out of a wound. Chase was covered in dirt and had a swollen black eye for a right eye. His hair was going in every direction. JC was just praying that he didn’t take anything that would kill him.
“Wanna know why I came back?” Chase slurs as JC pulls him through the rehab doors, “It’s the only home I have.”
JC stares at Chase as nurses come out from what seemed like every direction and grabbed him pulling him away from JC off down the hall.
“With or without you. With or without you. I can't live. With or without you.”
