from the album "Tormented"
TOLERATE
(It's been like this forever, no more, I hate my fucking life.)I don't give a fuck about all of your problems.
I could give a rat's ass how you're feeling today.
Take your worldly advice and shove it straight up your ass.
Thanks for coming around to fuck up my day.
I try, tolerate, goodbye, take me.
Look at you I can't, you don't see the whole picture.
Take my bed of dirt, cold and empty I'll stay.
What's the point of trying to stay above the surface?
Take my life from me, help me to ease my pain.
I try, tolerate, goodbye, empty.
Try to see the way around you, I can't find it.
Try to take the path behind me, can't rewind it.
Stick your finger in my face and I will break it.
Leave me with an aftertaste, I live for it.
I try, tolerate, goodbye, empty.
Try to tolerate.
(I cannot tolerate, no tolerance, my life.)
COME AGAIN
Motherfucker, you push yourself on me, you force yourself on me,You free yourself through me, you'd better save yourself from me.
Every time you want me to be something I could never be,
You'll just have to wait and see til the next time that you have to come again.
This time you will come again.
I hate myself for you, I break myself for you,
I'd kill myself for you, I'd better save myself from you.
Every time you want me to be something you could never be,
I guess we'll have to wait and see til the next time that you have to come again.
This time you will come again.
If you have to walk my way, have something to say,
Get the fuck away, can't take one more day.
I cannot conform.
Hate me, kill me, fuck me, save me.
BREAK
I walk alone, I am alone, I think alone, I'll die alone.Don't think I can make it on my own, I think I need someone to save me.
Such is life, so sad but true, kill everything that's close to you.
Try to decide what not to do, you know you cannot control me.
I think there's no point in going any further than I've gone already,
Can't keep my hands steady.
Sadness every day for me, you can't take that away from me.
All these fucking thoughts inside my head are almost more than I can take.
You push and push on me, your gonna keep pushing til I break.
You think you control me, have no chains that hold me,
Only thing that saves me, voices just might kill me.
Sadness every day for me, you can't take that away from me.
All these fucking thoughts inside my head are almost more than I can take.
You push and push on me, your gonna keep pushing til I break.
PAINFUL
I light another cigarette, stop to think about it,Come to no conclusions, take each step as it comes.
Hold no prisoners except myself, painful thoughts denied.
Try to explain my hostile words, fuck you, I piss upon you all.
My head is a barricade, filled with peaceful thoughts with evil outcomes, no one understands.
Try to break the barrier, I see no outlet, no one's there to catch me when I fall.
Try to explain my hostile words, fuck you, I piss upon you all.
NAMELESS
Can't you see I fucking hate me?The walls around me caving in, cracked and grey.
Remind me of myself, I need some help, there's no one else.
I'm empty, addicted, pissed off and still afraid
Of what you have left me to live in, this mess you've made.
I feel useless, jaded, nameless.
The ride is over, I've come down, hate to be,
Can't rely upon myself, for my own health, to just say no.
I'm fucked up, distorted, dysfunctional and drained,
All of my deep-rooted fears seem to get the best of me.
I feel useless, jaded, nameless.
I hate the way you fucked with me, you can't rely on open eyes to see.
You force these painful visions from my head, you won't be happy til I break down.
I feel useless, jaded, nameless.
SEE THRU
(alone) I walk beside myself, you put me on your shelf,With my insanity, no one to blame but me.
But if you had told me when I was much younger
That life has a way of pulling you right under,
I wouldn't be standing here preaching my hate, I stand at the edge staring into my fate.
(I see through you) What makes you think that you are God?
Pick up the pieces as I fall apart. Why must you fuck with me this way?
Wither away with me.
(betrayed) You left me here for dead, betrayed by the voices in my head,
Left me out in the rain, nothing left but pain.
I'm sick of the answers you have to my questions,
Your cannibal instincts and false dedications.
You leave me here cold, nothing left but my shell to die while I'm living and burn in my hell.
(I see through you) What makes you think that you are God?
Pick up the pieces as I fall apart. Why must you fuck with me this way?
Wither away with me.
I pick you apart little by little til nothing is left but the look on your face.
Once inside out I can get at what's inside, beneath your façade I can see your disgrace.
The walls that you build up will crumble around you, the pain you will feel as you wither away.
The sun though it comes up will warm you no longer, your strongest emotions I'll make you betray.
QUESTION?
Which way do I go?Pain I wallow, I cannot keep it down, hate I swallow, I cannot keep it down.
You, I hate you, I cannot keep you down, you, I'll rape you, I cannot keep you down.
You before me, I can't take anymore of what you have to offer, my ears are sore.
Leave my feelings in a heap by the door, can't go up any further, come crashing back down.
NO ONE'S KIND
What the fuck's the purpose? I didn't scratch the surface.Immune to what your saying, all along decaying.
Can't see through the fire, darkness, lone desire, quiet in my corner, building up the border.
Can't stand the way you make me feel today, no one's kind is all you'll ever be.
Can't see through the rain, too much pain, am I insane, too much time,
No sublime loss of energy, no symmetry, fuck society, lost in naïveté.
Can't stand the way you make me feel today, no one's kind is all you'll ever be.
Can't stand they way you make me feel, can't take the pain you break me,
Can't bite the hand that feeds me, can't take away what's in me.
Addicted to the feelings, lose touch with all I've know.
The cobwebs on the ceiling make me aware that I'm all alone.
The endless rain washes all away makes clean the mess I have made.
SELF DESTRUCT
Watch me suffer, you'll feel better, stick the needle in my vein.Lost my feelings with my dealings, thoughts of only you remains.
Rip and tear in my despair, agonising over shit.
Feel the needle burn and tingle, my bad habits deal with it.
I will self destruct.
My light has slowly faded, broken and degradated,
Suffocate in my sorrow, maybe I'll die tomorrow.
This riot that I've sighted came to you uninvited,
Truth hurts when it's in your face, are you afraid of it?
I will self destruct, I think I'm gonna snap.
I self destruct my mind, I self destruct my world, I self destruct my life.
4 WALLS
The thoughts from my mind command my hands to cut your silken flesh.The thoughts from my mind command my feet to stomp your head.
The thoughts from my mind have one question: when will this ever end?
Not much to the life I live, same four walls.
I have nothing left to give, please take it all away, same four walls.
The thoughts from my mind feel the pain as rats claw at my flesh.
The thoughts from my mind feel the joy as the needle hits my vein.
The thoughts from my mind smell the stench as shit runs down my leg.
The thoughts from my mind ask for sanity, now for this I beg.
Not much to the life I live, same four walls.
I have nothing left to give, please take it all away, same four walls.
The thoughts from my mind command my lips say I hate you.
The thoughts from my mind command my hands to cut your silken flesh.
The thoughts from my mind command my feet to stomp your head.
The thoughts from my mind have one question: when will I be dead?
This is the life I have to live, same four walls.
I have nothing left to give, please take it all away, same four walls.
There's nothing left for me.
from the album "Dysfunction"
SUFFOCATE
I feel nothing, longing for something.Relax, take a minute to take your clothes off, show me what you're made of.
Drugs to soothe me.
Leave me here, I'm dying, just kick me in the face.
All alone and crying, I suffocate.
I'm not gifted, slightly twisted.
Try hard to see if I can push you any further.
Drugs to soothe me.
Leave me here, I'm dying, just kick me in the face.
All alone and crying, I suffocate.
Please believe you save me, rearrange me.
I can feel your feelings running through me.
Take away my sorrow, my tomorrow, cradle me.
JUST GO
I'm kind of numb, it's so distorted, you left me here with this damage that you've caused.My tortured faces, those fucked up places in my memories, none of them I've lost, but
I haven't been here long enough to know, every time I feel this I just lose control.
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful, I wish that this would just go.
It's kind of sick, I feel so dirty, I'm kind of tragic, kind of insecure.
But I know that I'm the only one that can fix whatever's wrong, I'm sure, but
I haven't been here long enough to know, every time I feel this I just lose control.
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful, I wish that this would just go.
I feel so numb from all I've become, I'll take you down, I feel so down.
I'm water while you drown, you're lifted while I'm down.
I'm cancer in your womb, I'm the needle in your spoon.
All these fucking lies, all your fucking lies.
ME
I hear you talk about your family life, I wish I knew just what that means.I guess my mother never loved my dad, and now I wear it on my sleeve.
My sister called me just the other day, it felt so good to hear her voice.
My problem is, I don't have much to say, I guess she doesn't have a choice, and I'm sorry.
Look at me, I'm so pathetic, I can't believe I'm just an addict.
I never needed anyone to help me, I'm begging you to please come save me from myself.
My mother's always tried to change herself, she never learned to let things be.
She doesn't know how bad she messed me up, cause now she seems so fake to me, but I love her.
Look at me, I'm so pathetic, I can't believe I'm just an addict.
I never needed anyone to help me, I'm begging you to please come save me from myself.
If you push me then I won't fall, I've been programmed to take it all
And shove it way down inside, like my father,
I'm so pathetic, I can't believe I'm just an addict.
I try to be, I'm failing at it, life to me is just a habit.
I hear you talk about your family life, I wish I knew just what that means.
RAW
The pictures left with me won't fade, these images affect me every day.Cause of you I feel I don't deserve the life I see in her.
Just don't leave me raw. Inside I'm so cold.
I've never been someone who knows, my choices haunt me everywhere I go.
Finally did something right for myself: my life for you, no one else.
Just don't leave me raw. Inside I'm so cold.
I can't take this.
I feel so raw.
MUDSHOVEL
You take away, I feel the same.All the promises you made to me you made in vain.
I lost myself inside your tainted smile again.
Cause you can feel my anger, you can feel my pain.
You can feel my torment driving me insane.
I can't fight these feelings, they will bring you pain.
You can't take away, make me whole again.
I feel betrayed, stuck in your ways,
And you rip me apart with the brutal things you say.
I can't deal with this shit anymore, I just look away.
Cause you can feel my anger, you can feel my pain.
You can feel my torment driving me insane.
I can't fight these feelings, they bring only pain.
You can't take away, make me whole again, mudshovel.
You take away, I feel the same, all these promises promised only pain,
If you take away and leave me with nothing again,
Cause you can feel my anger, you can feel my pain.
You can feel my torment driving me insane.
I can't fight these feelings, they will bring me pain.
You can't take away, make me whole again.
You will feel my anger, you will feel my pain.
You will feel my torment driving you insane.
I can't fight these feelings, they will bring you pain.
You won't take away, I'll be whole again, mudshovel.
HOME
I force myself through another day.I can't explain the way today just fell apart like everything, right in my face.
And I try to be the one,
I can accept this all because of you I've had to walk away from everything.
And I'm afraid to be alone, afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone.
I'm afraid to come back home.
Another sleepless night again, hotel room's my only friend,
And friends like that just don't add up to anything.
And I try so hard to be everything that I should never take away from you again,
Cause I heard you say that I'm afraid to be alone, afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone.
I'm afraid to come back home.
I cannot forget I live with regret, I cannot forget I live with it.
I live through this, I can't see through this, I can't do this anymore,
Cause I'm afraid to be alone, afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone.
I'm afraid to come back home, afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone.
I just wish I was back home.
A FLAT
Trust in me can't trust, I know I don't believe it.All my life so scarred. What for? You can't conceive it.
Everything you fear I'll be, you couldn't live it.
I whisper in your ear so loud, why can't you hear it?
Are you okay? I'm okay.
All my faith is gone, you think I couldn't find it.
Pieces falling down, shattered, nothing behind it.
In my mind alone, lost here, I'm separated.
Crawl deeper in my hole, safe here from what I hated.
All the demons in my head won't leave me, I know I can hear them.
All the sacrifices made for nothing don't show, can't believe in.
Want to show you that I'm good for something; I can't, you won't let me.
All your artificial words won't heal me because you can't accept me.
And I hate myself, and I hate my face, and I hate my world, and I hate my ways.
No, I'm not okay!
Are you okay? I'm okay.
CRAWL
I'm so lonely, you're so beautiful, not the only one that's pitiful.Stretched and torn, I lay here in pieces, craving all of your deadly vices.
I'd like to think that I'm not addicted, but I guess I wear it well.
And I crawl while you spit, and I crawl through you.
Here I am now, not a lot has changed, nothing better, everything's the same.
Late at night I can hear your voices talking shit about all my choices.
You would think that you've known me forever just because you know my name.
And I crawl while you spit, and I crawl through.
Everything falls apart.
SPLEEN
Can't breathe! Shut up!I feel I give everything to you, I think there's nothing left to do.
I don't like today, take it all away, just like what you say, I don't want you.
Kind of like the way everything is grey, just like what you say. I don't need you.
I don't look like you, do the things you do, but I'm fucked up too, I don't need you.
Can't breathe! Shut up!
I feel you are what saves my soul.
I think I'll never lose control.
You don't understand that you're killing this planet.
The scabs on her face, it's a fucking disgrace.
I blame you.
EXCESS BAGGAGE
Well, I know the words, but I can't really speak them to you.And I know the pain that I've gained with my wisdom from you.
And I'm eaten alive by what I hold inside.
All the things that I live with I can't easily hide.
And I'm left here with nothing to live for but you.
It's not easy to hide all this damage inside, but I'll carry it with me until I'm not alive.
When you look at my face, does it seem just as ugly to you?
I can't seem to erase all the scars I have lived with from you.
I'm so sick of this place, this taste in my mouth.
Cause of you I can't figure what I'm all about.
And I'm left here with nothing to live for but you.
It's not easy to hide all this damage inside, but I'll carry it with me until I'm not alive.
from the album "Break the Cycle"
OPEN YOUR EYES
As I walk along these streets, I see a man who walks alone.Distant echo of people's feet, he has no place to call his own.
A shot rings out from a roof overhead, a crackhead asks for change nearby,
An old man lies in an alleyway dead, a little girl lost just stands there and cries.
What would you do if it was you? Would you take everything for granted like you do?
A boy, just thirteen, on the corner for sale, swallows his pride for another hit.
Overpopulation, there's no room in jail, and most of you don't give a shit
That your daughters are porno stars and your sons sell death to kids.
You're so lost in your little worlds you'll never fix.
What would you do if it was you? Would you take everything for granted like you do?
You turn away.
As I walk along the streets, soaking up the acid rain,
Underneath the taxicabs, I hear the streets cry out in vain.
PRESSURE
I just need this to be all right, I can't feel this another night.I can't take this, I come unglued, I might break down in front of you.
Necessary to medicate, I'm not sleeping, can't stay awake.
Can't see through this, too much pressure, drowning in this, too much pressure.
If you need me I'll be here, half unconscious, escape my fear.
I can't take this, I come unglued, I might break down in front of you.
Necessary to medicate, I'm not sleeping, can't stay awake.
Can't see through this, too much pressure, drowning in this, too much pressure.
My head hurts, this shit isn't getting me high, my chest is so tight, am I going to die?
My stomach's in knots and the room starts to spin as I wait for this valium to slowly kick in.
FADE
I try to breathe, memories overtaking me.I try to face them but the thought is too much to conceive.
I only know that I can change, everything else just stays the same,
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became,
Cause I just needed someone to talk to, you were just too busy with yourself.
You were never there for me to express how I felt, I just stuffed it down.
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade,
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
So where were you when all this I was going through?
You never took the time to ask me just what you could do.
I only know that I can change, everything else just stays the same,
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became,
Cause I just needed someone to talk to, you were just too busy with yourself.
You were never there for me to express how I felt, I just stuffed it down.
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade,
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
I never meant to fade away.
IT'S BEEN AWHILE
And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high,And it's been awhile since I first saw you,
And it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again,
And it's been awhile since I could call you.
And everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem,
The consequences that I've rendered, I've stretched myself beyond my means.
And it's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted,
And it's been awhile since I could say I love myself as well,
And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do.
And it's been awhile, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you.
And everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem,
The consequences that I've rendered, I'm gonna fuck things up again.
Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away. Just one more peaceful day.
And it's been awhile since I could look at myself straight,
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry.
And it's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face,
And it's been awhile, but I can still remember just the way you taste.
And everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem to be, I know it's me.
I cannot blame this on my father, he did the best he could for me.
And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high,
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry.
CHANGE
If ever you had said to me before that I would lead this life that I am living now,I guess it's all so strange to feel the way I do inside,
And have so much that I could feel some pride for in my life,
So why is it that I feel like this?
How do I feel? I've been here before, I've felt this.
Retreat to a place, a place within me, I need this.
Keep it all down, bottled inside, it breaks me
To torment again and torture me like it used to.
I try and try to break away from all the hate I'm feeling
For every one of you that's ever done me wrong.
I need to justify the reasons for the way I'm living.
I guess I can't, cause I don't feel like I deserve.
How do I feel? I've been here before, I've felt this.
Retreat to a place within me, I need this.
Keep it all down, bottled inside, it breaks me
To torment again and torture me like it used to.
So now the waves, they have subsided and my soul is bleeding.
I can't take away all the shame I feel, forgive me.
CAN'T BELIEVE
Respect what is found, respect should abound, respect everything that you leave.I can't believe all the travesty surrounding me, I want to flee from everything in front of me.
I can't believe, never again, trusted in you.
Fuck everything that you think I should be.
I stand, never again, I can't believe.
EPIPHANY
Your words to me just a whisper, your faces so unclear,I try to pay attention, your words just disappear,
Cause it's always raining in my head, forget all the things I should have said.
So I speak to you in riddles cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head and feel it wash away,
Cause I can't take any more of this, I want to come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole inside your precious heart,
Cause it's always raining in my head, forget all the things I should have said.
I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention, yet I always try to hide,
Cause I talk to you like children, though I don't know how I feel.
But I know I'll do the right thing if the right thing is revealed.
SUFFER
The more you see, the more you do, the television's feeding youWith what you want to hear, anger and fear, because you suffer.
The hate you feel won't go away, you're all programmed to feel this way,
To live another day within a world that loves to suffer.
And then I come to find everything's okay, seen this all before but that was yesterday.
Try to walk right through the messes that I've made.
Just let me enjoy the life here that I live.
I tried to give it all to you, can't take any more to do
With this, it hurts inside, I know why I hide, cause I suffer.
I tried to keep it all inside, didn't leave me too much pride,
I forced it all down inside, forced myself to make me suffer.
And then I come to find everything's okay, seen this all before but that was yesterday.
Try to make it through the messes that I've made so I can enjoy the life here that I live.
And then I come to find everything's okay, seen this all before but that was yesterday.
Try to walk right through these messes that I've made,
And just try to enjoy this life here that I live.
SAFE PLACE
Another day inside my world, I'm married to you and this road,A road that never lets me sleep, there's no way to escape these demons I am forced to keep.
And then I find you here, through your eyes everything's clear,
And I'm home inside your arms, but I'm alone for now.
I mean the best with what I say, it doesn't always sound that way.
I never learned to work things out, cause in my family all we ever seem to do is shout.
And then I find you here, through your eyes everything's clear,
And I'm home inside your arms, but I'm alone for now.
And when I try to sleep, the drugs I take are killing me,
I think of you to ease my pain, but you're so far.
Now it's time to say goodbye, I love you, baby, please don't cry.
FOR YOU
To my mother, to my father, it's your son or it's your daughter.Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me, should I turn this up for you?
I sit here locked inside my head, remembering everything you've said.
The silence gets us nowhere way too fast.
The silence is what kills me, I need someone here to help me,
But you don't know how to listen and let me make my decisions.
I sit here locked inside my head, remembering everything you've said.
The silence gets us nowhere way too fast.
All your insults and your curses make me feel like I'm not a person,
And I feel like I am nothing, but you made me, so do something,
Cause I'm fucked up because you are, need attention you couldn't give.
OUTSIDE
And you can bring me to my knees again, all the times that I could beg you please in vain.All the times that I felt insecure for you, and I leave my burdens at the door.
But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colours,
Cause inside you're ugly like me, I can see through you, see to the real you.
All the times that I felt like this won't end, it's for you.
And I taste what I could never have, it was from you.
All the times that I've cried, my intentions full of pride, but I waste more time than anyone.
But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colours,
Cause inside you're ugly like me, I can see through you, see to the real you.
All the times that I've cried, all this wasted, it's all inside,
And I feel all this pain, stuffed it down, it's back again,
And I lie here in bed all alone, I can't mend, but I feel tomorrow will be okay.
WASTE
Your mother came up to me, she wanted answers only she should know.It wasn't easy to deal with the tears that rolled down her face.
I had no answers cause I didn't even know you,
But these words, they can't replace the life you waste.
How could you paint this picture?
Was life as bad as it should seem that there were no more options for you?
I can't explain how I feel, I've been there many times before.
I've tasted the cold steel of my life crashing down before me,
But these words, they can't replace the life you waste.
Did daddy not love you, or did he love you just too much?
Did he control you, did he live through you at your cost?
Did he leave no questions for you to answer on your own?
Well fuck them, and fuck her, and fuck him, and fuck you
For not having the strength in your heart to pull through.
I've had doubts, I have failed, I've fucked up, I've had plans,
Doesn't mean I should take my life with my own hands,
But these words, they don't replace the life you waste.
TAKE IT
I feel like this won't go away, no matter how hard I try toSqueeze my eyes shut so I can't see the pain in you, this pain in me.
Everything that I can say to you won't help you.
Everything you need is right in front of you, just take it.
I know that I'm really not here to represent what I'm not clear
About in my head sometimes I feel fucked up just like you do.
Everything that I can say to you won't help you.
Everything you need is right in front of you, just take it.
Try to make it through the daily pain that you feel, maybe tomorrow won't be so bad.
I know it cause I once felt that way, nothing I could say made it go away.
I lived through this, I still feel this, I just live for my tomorrow.
Make it go away, just make it go away, should I make it go away?
from the 2002 Family Values Tour
BLACK
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay,Her lace spread out before me, as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her crimson soul, as the earth does the sun.
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn,
And all I taught her was everything, I know she gave me all that she wore,
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything.
The pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything.
I take a walk outside, I'm surrounded by some kids at play,
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
And twisted thoughts that spin round my head,
I'm spinning, how quick the sun can drop away,
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything.
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything.
All the love gone bad turned my world to black,
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll ever be.
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's skies,
But why can't it be mine?
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