Lila's World...touch me, then try to leave - Oct 1998

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      50+ Things I hate about Holland

      New and Improved...


      Ok due to hate mail, threats, and anti-Lila M sites I am updating and improving this section, to make it even more plausable. (for the Dutch umong us, please go to Dictionary.com.

      Btw, I am NOT American or English!

    • 1.Dutch people can not see logic no matter how plain andsimple you explain it to them.
    • 2. They can NEVER get anything right on the first (or even second time)
    • 3. They think they live in India and worship the cow as a holy animal.
    • 4. They do not know when Christ was born but celebrate Christmas anyway.
    • 5.The word hygiene means NOTHING to them and brushing teeth is a foreign concept.
    • 6.The think life is all about Beer and sex. Even at age 55.
    • 7.They call themselves tolerant, but they are very narrow minded towards foreigners.
    • 8. They have no idea what a "shopping mall" is. They aren't any in Holland.
    • 9. They think going on Holiday means f***ing as many people as possible in a cheap motel in Spain.
    • 10. The woman ALL sound like men.

    • 11. They celebrate religious things by getting drunk.
    • 12. Most of them stink like coffee and cigs. (EWWW)
    • 13. They have no sense of humour to speak of.
    • 14. They think it's normal if "fresh" air smells like dog/cow shit.
    • 15. They actaully think bright orange is fashionable.
    • 16. Before going to your local docter, you have to diagnose yourself first.
    • 17. They call their pet cat's "Pussies"
    • 18. The phrase "F you" goes over their heads.
    • 19. It's almost impossible to insult them, unless you say you hate farmers and cows.
    • 20. As soon as it's 15'C out side, they put on their sunglasses and wear shorts.

    • 21. They can never keep their clothes on.
    • 22. I hate having to dodge their spit in the street
    • 23. Their children have no manners what so ever and get away with murder.
    • 24. They hit their dog for barking.
    • 25. They close their airport after 23pm cos it's too noisy, but party untill 6am and no one complains.
    • 26. They have no idea what chocolate cake is, they only have coco powder flavour sponge cake, with NO topping what so ever (chokes at the thought)
    • 27. You have to send a request to the town council to paint your house...
    • 28. They expect their high school students to have 14 exam subjects. (In other words, extremely shallow knowledge of everything)
    • 29. They suck at sport
    • 30. They think it's weird if someone in Australia can't understand them when they speak Dutch.

    • 31. If you are going to use a English word in a sentence you have to warn them in advance or else they will not know what language it is (even if they can speak English!!)
    • 32. They think they are always right.
    • 33. The still show A Team and Dallas on TV.
    • 34. They think cabbage and boiled patatoes' taste good
    • 35. Their queens has had the same hair style since she was born.
    • 36. They only have paprika and natural flavour chips.
    • 37. They can't pronounce "the" but they can pronounce "Cette adresse est réservée par la société"
    • 38. If you go to visit someone, you get ONE cookies, then the tin get's snapped shut and put away.
    • 39. When taking the bus, the Dutch aim to cough on as many fellow bus riders as possible. You also score points for being coughed ON.
    • 40. The bus is also the best place for the Dutch to test their new ringtones.

    • 41. When shopping, the Dutch keep track of how many people they managed to run over with the shopping trolly.
    • 42. They think it's STILL 1945.
    • 43. You can only buy 3 flavour ice creams in Holland
    • 44. They make drugs legal but it's illigal to make a fire without a permit
    • 45. They think Jerry Springer is still cool
    • 46. The sell postcards with a pic of dog shit on it. (For real!!)
    • 47. They laugh at their own (none funny) jokes.
    • 48. A pizza to them, is a pancake with cheese topping.
    • 49. People with invalid cars have the right to run over as many youths as they can. At least that is what they think.
    • 50. They think showing sex on TV at 19pm is a good idea and then show family shows at 23pm.

    • 51. They complain that people get the wrong imprssion of their country because they are more than just "windmills, clogs and tulips"...Ya right...
    • 52. When serving in a bakery, butcher or other food court they don't wear golves! How clean!
    • 53. The pick their noses, IN PUBLIC all the time!
    • 54. The most unhelpfull of the Dutch can be found working at a helpdesk.
    • 55. The women here actaully look like men too.
    • 56. They show more cooking shows on TV than the English!
    • 57. Their dogs can poop anywhere they want.
    • 58. The Dutch have a saying : "Just act normal, that is strange enough" It says enough about them already!
    • 59. They even celebrate 'Koninginnedag' (Queensday) but dislike the Royal Family.
    • 60. The Prime Minister looks exactly just like Harry Potter.

    • 61. And he supports Bush...
    • 62. Dutch people CAN NOT multi task. Not even talk and serve at the till at the same time.










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    Last updated: November 2006

    Copyright Lindy van den Bosch 2006