Chapter Four: Dark Pining:

I can’t escape Cassie or Elizabeth. Maybe that’s why I found myself back at Cassie’s apartment. I don’t know how to explain it. Every time I see Cassie, I see Lizzie in her eyes. Remembering everything that brought me to this point of despair brought me back to her daughter’s apartment. I didn’t go to the front door. I flew up to Cassie’s bedroom window. It was early in the morning. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. Cassie’s room was still pitch black. I peeked into the glass. Despite it being the middle of summer, it felt cold to my hands. I could barely see anything at first. I felt so creepy doing this. What is a man in his late thirties doing spying on a teenage girl? I might as well wear a sign that says, “I am a pedophile.” But, I couldn’t think about that now. I just had to see my Cassie again.

Right then, I saw my young angel stirring from her bathroom. The lighting in room wasn’t that strong. But, I saw enough that kept me happy. I saw her shape as she walked back to her bed. She had on an oversized t-shirt with her hair out and loose. It was like spying on young Elizabeth again. Too bad this image didn’t last long however. Cassie turned off the bathroom light. The room got dark again. Despite that, I still looked into her room. I could still see her figure moving to her bed. I began to see her again in the dim streetlight behind me. However, that works out both ways. For Cassie looked up and see me looking at her in the window. She looked really panicked now. I gently put my finger to my lips. The girl lied there in silent fear. I pointed at the window latches to be opened. My little angel stared up at me in fear at first. I didn’t push her. I waited as I watched her. After a few minutes, Cassie sat up and unlatched the windows. I climbed into the room like a cat. I climbed onto her bed. My angel stared at me blankly.

“What are you doing here?” she asked me.

“I just had to see you again,” I said.

“Why?” she asked. I held her close to my coat. She became startled even more. I lightly kissed her on top of her blonde hair. I rested my chin on her head.

“I just…” I began to mumble. I lost my words holding this angel in my arms. How could I talk around her? She was just like her mother. I could never really talk around Lizzie. She stole the words out of my mouth always. Cassie was doing the same thing to me. I held her close to my chest and kissed her on the head again. She could have fought back against me and screamed for help. But, she didn’t. Cassie just leaned up close my chest and shushed me. Neither one of us spoke. I don’t think that we could. I don’t even think she knew why she didn’t fight back. I had a guess, but it probably didn’t match. Bah! Why care about it in the first place? I was just happy to be holding Cassie. To be holding my Elizabeth again. I swore to myself to keep it that way.