Chapter One: Love Martyr

Sunday is always church for Noizchild. (Rob the lazy bum always sleeps in on Sundays! But that’s not this story!) I can’t stand churches. They’re too pure for my blood. But I go anyway. Spare me the redemption speech! That’s not why I go! So why do I go to church? Protection! That’s right! You see, there is this chaplain there that has the hots for Noiz. (Surprising for someone who doesn’t try, huh?) Anyway, Chaplain Cook keeps hitting on good ol’ Noiz. She tries everything: asking, avoiding, ignoring, telling, and complaining to the board. The letch still persists to harass Noiz and try to seduce her. *Sigh* Time to get to work. At least he’s cute!

I got my “kit” ready for tonight. I just got out the usual: cleavage-showing little black dress, black kitten heels, white diamond collar, blood red lipstick, sexy perfume, jade-diamond earrings, and a jade-diamond bracelet. I’m almost done. Now for the hard part.

I took out my make-up kit and took out the chocolate foundation and make-up brush. I dabbed the bristles in the foundation and lightly painted over my mark. I looked over my artwork. I couldn’t see my mark anymore. The hard part was over. I shut my eyes, whispered a chant, and m wings folded away instantly. When I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror, I looked like ol’ Noiz herself.

I was set to go now. I just had to seduce the pest and then problem solved!

I was heading out the door when I heard someone ask me, “You’re not going off on one of your ‘dates’ again are you?”

I froze at the front door and turned behind me. Rob was standing on the stairs watching me. He had gotten out of bed. The mouse-boy was only dressed in black dragon pajama pants. Noiz got him those in case of an overnight stay. Rob’s quite a catch. He’s a mouse with short brown hair, brown eyes, brown mousey, and a tail. No wonder Noiz loves him so much.

I smiled at him devilishly. I have yet to figure out how he can tell Noiz and I apart when I look like her. But when I do, there will be changes.

“Yes,” I replied. “What is it to you?” Rob stepped forward towards me.

“I won’t let you dishonor Noiz-chan anymore!” he ordered. This is interesting. If this was Good Noiz talking, I would tell her to shut up and leave. But tonight, I was amused by his manliness.

“Oh really?” I challenged.

“Yeah!” the mouse answered in an uneasy tone. I walked up to him strongly. Mousey looked up at me nervously. (His head comes up to all three of our breasts.)

“How?” I asked. I smirked as I heard him swallow.

“By anyway necessary!” Rob answered at last. I smiled at him devilishly. He’s so cute when he tried to be brave. Well, time to “reward” him.

My smile became warmer. “Aw,” I replied. “Come here!” I knelt down and kissed him deeply on the lips. I felt his cheeks and lips heat up under mine. This is what always happens when I kiss him. He’s so fun to mess with! Mice make the best toys for cat girls like me!

That kiss was only two minutes long, but I knew it felt like forever fro Rob. I pulled away from him slowly. The mouse’s face was red all over. He could barely speak or move. I smirked at my results. I leaned into his ear.

“I’ll give you more later!” I promised. He nodded as if he was in a daze. I smiled again and walked out the door. That was too easy!

I made it to the church that evening. The place looked dark. (An improvement on my part!) The only lights on inside were three offices. I shut my eyes and studied the building in my mind. I found the pig’s office in seconds. It was on the second floor last door on the left next to the exit. I opened my eyes and smirked. The mission had begun.

I teleported myself into the hall. My feet lightly touched the hard floor. I looked around quickly. The hall was still dark and no one was in sight. Just perfect. The odds were in my favor tonight. I walked down the hall causally. My heels echoed through the darkness. I kept myself moving the whole trip. Stopping was not an opinion tonight.

I made it to the pig’s office in seconds flat. I smiled to myself like a cat with a cornered mouse. I was enjoying the mission already! I knocked on the door normally.

“It’s unlocked!” the priest called from inside. I smiled to myself wickedly. “Such a sitting duck!” I thought to myself. Then I opened the door and went inside.

Chaplain Cook’s office looked…so clean. It was so holy that I felt like throwing up on the newly shampooed carpet. Crosses and Jesus galore! I leveled myself again. Got to get this over with. The sooner I am done, the sooner I can leave.

I cleared my throat loudly. The pig looked up at me quickly. I smiled at him Noiz-like. Chaplain Cook grinned at me ravishingly. I could tell he was trying to remain pure.

“Uh…” he spoke up. “Can I help you Ms. Johnson?” I smiled in my head at that question. Show time!

I sighed stressed. “I’ve been having family problems lately!” I wailed out. The creep’s ears perked up.

“Do come in!” the false chaplain called out cheerfully. I did so and shut the door behind me. He held out his hand to the deep oak chair in front of his beige desk.

“Sit!” he said. “I won’t bite you!” His chuckle said otherwise. I did so with caution. “Is this how you had scores of women fall into bed with you?” I thought in mischief. Chaplain Cook smiled at me richly.

“So,” he spoke up. “What is the problem?” My eyes welled up in “tears.” (I have mastered the art of acting too well! This will be too easy!)

“It’s my father!” I wailed out. I whimpered out again. Cook waited again.

“What about your father?” he asked. I looked at him pitifully.

“No!” I wailed out. “It’s too painful to say!” The pig reached out and lightly touched my hand. I kept my eyes down as I smirked to myself. He was falling for my little trap.

“It’s okay Ms. Johnson,” Chaplain Cook assured me. “Anything you say is held in the strictest of confidence.” I looked at him innocently.

“You mean it?” I asked with a sob. He nodded at me softly. All according to plan. All according to plan!

I gave him some hokey (yet true) story about Noiz and her father. The pig actually believed it! I peeked up at him when I was finished. Cook looked so sympathetic. (I might have some competition in the acting category after all!) His smiled was like a saint’s. He stood up and gently put his arm around me. Just perfect! I looked at him slightly.

The priest was smiling at me. “Aw,” he said. “I feel your pain.” Then, he leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. I didn’t resist. I kissed back quickly. The plan sprung into action. Cook pushed me down on my back on his desk. He thought he had the upper hand now. But not for long!

I lightly kissed down from his lips to his chin and neck is soft sweet tiny butterfly kisses. I unbuttoned his black jacket and slowly slid if off. I was reeling him in now! He was murmuring softly in my ear. I took my time with unbuttoning the white buttons on his shirt. The pig was like an excited little puppy. Come one monkey, dance! Just a little longer…

I slowly slid down his shirt. His sickly pale shoulders saw the hazy light above. Cook shut his eyes in heavy desire. (So needy! If he wasn’t such a pig, I might do him with more enjoyment. But not now! Got work to do!)

I lightly licked down his neck. The priest moaned out loud. I had him under my thumb. I licked his shoulder and… bit down as hard and violently as I could.

“OW!!!” the swine yelled out in my sweet ear. He jerked away in a flash. Some of his flesh was caught in my teeth. I spat it out as if it was poison. I looked at him like an innocent angel. The letch panted hard.

“You… BITCH!!!” he yelled out to me. I looked at him innocently and shook my head at him.

“Tsk, tsk!” I warned him in a mocking way. “That’s not very priest-like!” He glared at me coldly. Then, his eyes widened in a heartbeat to me.

“You’re… You’re not Noiz!!!” Cook yelled out. I shook my head like a little girl.

“Nooo!” I said sweetly. The swine got pissed off at me pretty quickly.

“You… You tricked me!” he shouted out. “I would have never…” I held up my hand to silence him. The swine shut his mouth quickly. I smiled at him wickedly.

“No, no,” I said mocking him. “I led, you followed. I didn’t put a gun to your head and say, ‘Kiss me now!’ Frankly, I like using my body and charms to get my way!” Cook was even angrier now!

He drew out his cross and yelled, “Who are you and what do you want from me?!?” I smirked at him again.

“Leave good ol’ Noiz alone,” I addressed. “And I’ll give you the night of your life!” The chaplain became red-faced really quickly.

“Never!” he barked. I shrugged at him innocently.

“Fine,” I replied harmlessly. “Then feel free to explain to your bosses about your little… um… uh… ‘Late-night sessions!’ That’ll be a fun one to explain!” Cook was red now!

“You wouldn’t!” he barked. I nodded at that.

“Your choice pal,” I said. The chaplain kept glaring at me coldly. I kept watching him with a smile on my face. I got him now!

Finally, the wine threw down his crucifix. “Fine!” he snorted. “I’ll leave Ms. Johnson alone!” I smiled wickedly at him.

“Good boy!” I replied. “I knew you would be sensible!”

Chaplain Cook wasn’t the best, but he was better than nothing. The man is a little rusty in his mid-thirties. Over all, the man needed some work! In the end, I got my worth out of it. I left the swine’s office feeling as fresh as a daisy. My night had been well spent! I left Chaplain Cook sitting in his chair covered in sweat panting as if he had been running for miles. HE doesn’t taste bad, I’ll give him that. I actually liked the taste of the holy man. Maybe I’ll snack on him again sometime. Maybe.

The next Sunday was a nice Sunday. Chaplain Cook didn’t try to hit on Noiz in any way. She was actually feeling better this morning. Yep! All was great that Sunday! (Well, except for a nun that kept looking at Noiz in a funny way. Damnit, she must have overheard my “meeting” with Chaplain Cook. Oh well, I’ll deal with her later!) Chow! *Wink*