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Life's Lessons |
YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE
- Never take Life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
- Life is sexually transmitted disease.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can Die.
- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the World is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
And the number one thought for the day:
- You read about all these Terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some as long as 10-15years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
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