In front of her, Lain Alasair could hear the crackling whispers of a man and woman arguing. Their words rose and arched; then once again fell into hushed murmurs. The hint of emotion and intensity in their disagreement pulled curiously at her. She tried to ignore them both, but found her attention continually drawn back to them. Unconsciously, she leaned forward. “For God sakes, Julie!” The man snapped quietly. “I’m not saying you have to do this. I just think you should consider it.” “You say that,” she snapped back, “but you don’t mean it. I know this is what you really want. Why else would we be going to California?” “We’ve been through this already. I have a friend I want you to see. Just talk to him, see what he has to say. He’s a well-respected doctor. I trust his opinion. Besides I thought this is what you wanted.” “It is. I thought it was. Oh, I don’t know. I just want to be sure, you know? Really be sure that what I decide to do is the best thing for me. For us.” There was something uncomfortable to the woman’s voice, something strained. “I know…” “How could you know? You don’t feel it. You don’t know what’s it like. “Maybe I would if you just let me,” he pleaded. “I’m trying to help, but you’re not exactly making this easy for me.”

“ Lain closed her eyes and pressed her palms firmly down on the plastic seat arms with almost ritualistic seriousness. She tried to forget about the world around her. ”

“It’s not supposed to be easy!” she half-sobbed, her voice rising sharply. Lain closed her eyes against the awareness of it, unconsciously fingering the strands of her russet colored hair. It was too soon. She needed some recourse from the very existence she was leaving behind her, but there was an intense familiarity to the couple’s pain. Lain didn’t like it. The man and woman had stopped talking. It took Lain much longer to quiet the thoughts thundering through her. She scowled as the bleached flight attendant sashayed to the front of the cabin with dainty steps and pasty cheeriness. In a bored voice the flight attendant dryly cited, word for word, every rule and procedure required of her. Lain watched as the woman pantomimed each step- as she dutifully pretended to buckle and unbuckle the clasp of the seat belt. She stared as the flight attendant mock hyperventilated into the yellow plastic facemask. Lain snorted, no lack of imagination there, she thought. The demonstration continued. By the time the flight attendant had reached the life preservers, Lain Alasair had had enough. She could hardly believe what she was witnessing. The woman was actually thrashing about as if drowning. But wait! What’s this? Everything’s gonna be just fine, ‘cause we’ve all got life preservers. Oh how nice, Lain thought cynically, all we need now is a natural disaster and we’ll be all set. After a final seatbelt check, the flight attendant took a seat next to her already settled co-workers and the engines of the Boeing 737 started up. “At last,” Lain said quietly. She could feel the plane moving forward, gently picking up momentum. For the first time in days she began to relax, sinking deeply into the seat. Lain closed her eyes and pressed her palms firmly down on the plastic seat arms with almost ritualistic seriousness. She tried to forget about the world around her. She denied the existence of the people, the mistakes, the stress waiting for her outside the small isolated cabin. Lain sunk deeper into the motion of the plane. She sighed in relief, knowing that the pandemonium of the Boston airport would be falling away from her soon. She kept her eyes closed for a while.

more >>