Interesting notion taking place
Should I or should I not
Consider one before the other?
What choice do I have
--really?
Debating only answers partly
The question begging answer
From me and so I filibuster
My ass off
What choice do I have
--really?
Taking time to organize thoughts
Amputate that which must be dead
For I have not nurtured it
For so very long now
What choice do I have
--really?
And should this then deadness
Come back to life and revive
Within me a want, desire
Unloved, it lay dormant
I had thought it by now
What choice do I have
--really?
When source of sorrow
Broken signals of more broken
Communications of hearts
Sends suddenly morse code
What choice do I have
--really?
So now I sit
I write and I ask
Should I know?
Do you know?
Is this even happening to me?
Now...
Can it be true that
What I once fled from,
what I once left with remorse
Then regret
And finally with relief
Should surface so close
To me as I learn to swim
In seas of great current
As a mythical beast
As chyribdis
To suck me down
To spit me out
Once again?
And yet...there is
Now no monster there
Nothing but light and care
Genuine want, desire
To do what has always been
Right.
And yet, the fear
Of yesterday to repeat itself
Lay on my mind, heart, soul,
As close to the surface as that
Faceless killer of the oceans' deep.
And yet...I debate
This time with myself
This time great filibuster
Takes place with my soul
Having the floor
My mind keeping watch of the clock
My heart standing by
To defend the winner of this
Hearing of broken but yet stubborn wills.
And now, as the meeting
Adjourns itself,
I find that nothing is changed.
It is all confusing;
Too much debating,
Too many issues
So, I ask
Were it you...
What would you do?
For my soul tells my mind
To give my heart reason now
To make a decision.
But I think still only this;
What choice did I ever have --really?
