this will be your exit

* Best of the Issue - April 2010 winner! *


coffee smokes black into your lungs
you see your face in its foamy wake
wide-eyed with newborn fear
bags circling like napkin stains

why do you remain here, laying
looking up into her skirt
the darkness floods your mouth
left latched open like a scream


this was your entrance
grand and terrible
timid and forgettable



chip-toothed and ready-to-snap
her caverns will be your grave





je suis l’enfant d’hiver




the house was frigid the day i was born

i could see my breath brush up against
the doors, frozen over
no one entered through them
or even knew where to find the knobs
beneath the ice

buried deep in the snow
i felt my skin shrivel against
the biting solitude of my heart


__________



for nineteen winters
my flesh waned against the cold
shrinking into the warmth
of its loneliness


__________



but tonight the house is silent

i can hear your footsteps tread softly against
the floors, frozen over
you enter my room
and even know where to find me
beneath the ice

buried deep in the snow
i feel my skin melt against
the wild beating of your heart




bugs


my burrows have been built
all in rows, from the feet up

I am small, you are small
but when my body is around you,
when my arms reach out to the edge
of you and I hold on
we are giant

we begin to spin, wind up and swing
like a batter for a home run

"run home
let go of her"

but I can't...
the image of one embrace
expanding us beyond all known space
('til you are a shadow, a faceless pole without limbs
and I am your anchor)
is the only comfort I know




le vomi blanc d’un jeune polaroid


out of the haze
a scene plays
there forms the image
of an unknown little girl



she is standing
slouched in the shape
of a sigh

marking the curves of her side
four burning imprints of
four burning knuckles
and her mother's bellow
burrowed into the small of her back



as quick as the blow
the moment disappears
into the smog
of a child's fantasy


Kelsey Upward is 20 years old, currently studying music composition in Los Angeles. She has been featured in Thick With Conviction several times, and is currently working on publishing her first chapbook series. She plans to distribute them at shows, using them to compliment her music and her performance.