Things We Can Learn from Celebrities
Mostly Nsync
When you're a celebrity, you can dress as tacky as the Fatone's holiday lawn decorations, and get away with it.
Being a celebrity isn't glamorous...you just get to wear $300 jeans, $3000 suits, $500 shirts, free ish, have 7 cars, have 3 houses, a personal stylist, go anywhere you want, and get anything you want. Oh the agony.
In the end, it all comes down to how hot you are.
It's ok to introduce 8 year olds to sex.
If it doesn't include a thrust or a body roll, it won't get recognition.
Thrusting can be taught.
It's ok to lie.
Being a celebrity does change you, I don't care how you slice it.
You can tell them how much you love them, but it's to a deaf ear. They've heard it enough that their response is "thank you" by second-nature.
"Real" girls include those with fake hair, fake boobs, and fake personalities.
If you don't have a big ish, you better stuff your pants with a pair of socks.
Flames no longer symbolize "gay." They symbolize NSYNC.
The one you think is the "goody goody" usually isn't.
It's ok for guys to wear pants with flowers on them.
Some men can even wear a women's size 2 in pants.
Brainwashing is the best method for getting fans.
You can make your own notebooks and lollipops, and people will actually buy them.
You can be a horrible singer/actor/whatever, but if there's something controversial about you, you'll still be famous.
I could never have a discussion with them because they'd think I was the NSYNC poster child.
It's ok to tell the public you're single when you're not.
Casually dating is the only form of dating.
When you have a girl/boyfriend, you're automatically in love with them.
Even if the lyrics are cheesy, they'll get stuck in your head like a broken record.
College isn't necessary if you plan on being a star because if you follow your dreams, you can get what you want.
If you're in a group, it's like Margaret Cho says..."there's always the smart one, the sweet one, and then there's the ho."
It's ok to have kids out of wedlock.
Boxer-briefs and sport shorts are different.
Macaroni bracelets are cool.
It's ok to get trashed every night if you have a nurse friend to help you out with the aftermath.
Lawsuits can be good. Personal information will be revealed.
Just because you live in a gated community doesn't mean you're safe.
It's ok for guys to wear pink turtlenecks.
Crack is good. The more the better.
If you can't see the crack of your ass, your pants can always be lower.
You should go to bed when you're tired.
You can date the ugliest piece of trash on earth and the rest of the world will then spend their time trying to look just like them.
You can be an alcoholic and you're still a role model.
You can be a Christian boy and still be a freaking pathological liar.
You can go days without brushing or washing your hair and without shaving and you have automatically set a new trend.
You can have an STD and infect thousands of unsuspecting women/groupies
You can use false names in hotels in New Orleans but you will always be found...
CREDIT: JRT - a yahoo group
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