Izzy found Joey at the arena later that evening. They were doing some practicing for the show the next night. They were on a quick break and she went up to him cautiously,
“Joey-bear?” She asked as sweetly as possible,
“What?” He gruffed,
“I’m sorry about earlier. It wasn’t directed at you. Well it was, but I shouldn’t have been so mean, I’m sorry.”
“Are you trying to make amends before you leave?” He raised an eyebrow at her,
“Where am I going?” She said lightly,
“Iz, it’s late I’m not in the mood for your attitude. You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“Africa?” he just shot her a look, “Oh well I guess I forgot to mention that my plans have changed.”
“What?” Joey said snapping his head back up to look at her,
“I’m not going to Africa.” She said with a bright smile on her face.
“You’re not going? But I thought it was your dream!”
“Well apparently I have a contract that I can’t break with a certain Nsyncer and I just couldn’t imagine spending two years away from all five of you goofs, especially you. I mean, think of Brianna, she needs someone around to counteract-” Joey swept her off her feet and swung her around and around till she couldn’t stand still.
“You’re staying! You’re staying!! You’re staying!!” Joey shouted happily and she laughed as she held onto to him for support,
“I take it you’re okay with that decision?”
“I’m more than okay!!! I’m fucking fantastic!” He shouted and hugged her again,
“I’m pretty darn fantastic too.” She laughed and then they heard the call to go back to rehearsal. “I guess you should get back, I just wanted to let you know.”
“You just made my night.” He grinned down at her,
“Well, good. I hate it when you’re grouchy, it’s not a good look for you.” She hugged him one last time before pushing him away and swatting his ass. “Now go play like a good boy.” She smirked,
“If I don’t will I get a spanking?” He teased playfully and she laughed,
“Maybe.” She winked and Joey just laughed as he ran off.
Izzy hung out watching the guys practice till she felt herself nodding off. She knew that they would be there for a while longer and decided to go back to the hotel and get some sleep. Once she was back in her room she saw the letter laying on her bed. She smiled at it and placed it in her bag. Just one thought of JC and the guys and she knew that she had made the right decision.
“Hey junior,” she yawned, “what’s up?”
“Do you always answer the door half naked?” Izzy looked down at JC’s t-shirt that barley covered her crotch and shrugged,
“You woke me up, this is what I sleep in.” She stretched a little, raising her arms over her head. Justin looked away covering his eyes,
“JC’s gonna be,” he yawned, “late. He got caught up and wanted me to tell you.” Justin stretched and grabbed his back suddenly, “Ow, shit.” Izzy quickly pulled him into the room,
“What happened?”
“Charley horse, big time.” He groaned and she pulled him to the couch.
“Lay down.” She instructed and Justin did as he was told. She crawled over him and massaged the spot for a few minutes, “Any better?”
“Yeah a little, geez I hate those things.” He mumbled as he laid face down on the couch. Izzy stroked his head tenderly,
“You look so tired and worn out Just.”
“I am, I could fall asleep right here.”
“You can, if you want. But you better sit up to see if that charley horse is gone.” She moved so that he could sit up and moved behind him when he did. “How’s your back?”
“It’s still there a little bit. Can you?”
“Yeah sure hon.” She sat there and massaged his back. Justin began to feel real heavy and Izzy began to get really sleepy. She leaned back on the couch as she continued to massaged Justin’s aching back.
“Iz?” He called but didn’t get an answer. He walked further into the room and noticed that Izzy was on the couch, but she wasn’t alone. Justin was on top of her face down in her chest and their limbs were entwined lackadaisically.
JC closed his eyes and pretended that he didn’t see his girl and his best friend asleep on the couch like that. He took a deep breath.
“Izzy.” He called to her keeping his eyes closed, “Izzy!” He said a bit louder and heard her stir,
“Jace?” She woke and stretched. Noticing a heavy lump on her she looked down to see Justin sleeping with his arms wrapped tightly around her. She looked up to see JC standing there with his eyes closed and his fist clenched at his sides. His eyes slowly opened and met hers, he looked so hurt. She smiled, “Hey you, can you help me with junior? I think he might be attached.” She joked and JC’s expression didn’t change. “Jace, come on.” She said softly knowing exactly what he was thinking.
Justin called out in his sleep,
“Britney….mmm…Britney…” He trailed off snuggling deeper into her chest. Izzy laughed a little and pulled Justin’s arms away from her. “No Brit, don’t go. We got a couple more hours, I swear…” Justin mumbled and Izzy shook her head. He pulled his arms tighter around her and she looked up at JC. He was still frozen in place staring at them.
“Jace, help me please? Junior’s got one hell of a grip.”
“You got him there, you get him off.” JC said coldly and turned going into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Izzy sighed, this was exactly what she didn’t need right now.
“Aw, fuck it.” She said and shook Justin’s shoulder, “Justin wake up.” She snapped and he woke up, lifting his head from her chest,
“Huh? Brit?”
“Not quite.” Izzy smirked and Justin released her, sitting up and rubbing his face,
“Guess I fell asleep.”
“Yeah, I think I did too. How’s your back?”
“A lot better, thanks.” He said getting up and stretching a little. He looked around the room,
“C’s not back yet?”
“Yeah, he’s in the bathroom. I think he just got back.” She said softly and Justin looked at her,
“Did he see us like…”
“Yeah,” she sighed, “he wasn’t too happy.”
“Shit. Nothing happened, we were just sleeping.”
“Junior, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
“You sure?”
“What are you worried about? We were sleeping and you were happily dreaming about Britney.”
“I was?” He asked and she laughed,
“Oh Britney, don’t move, stay with me, we got a couple more hours, I swear!” She mocked Justin,
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Mariani. I’m gonna go sleep in my bed where no one picks on me.” He grumbled and Izzy stood up rubbing his head,
“Goodnight squirt.” She teased and he shook his head,
“I’m bigger that you. I should be calling you squirt.”
“Try it and see what happens.” She challenged playfully and Justin put his hands up in the air,
“Not gonna try, I know when I’m whooped. Good night Iz.” He said and walked out the door. Iz sighed and went up to the bathroom door,
“Jace, please come out.” She pleaded through the door and then tried the door, it was locked. “I’ll be out here when you’re ready to talk to me.” She said going back to bed and sliding under the covers. She hated when he got into moods like this. She hugged a pillow to herself wishing it was JC. Her and Justin were purely innocent, nothing happened. Why was he so upset?
She thought over the situation and put herself in JC’s shoes. How would she feel is she found JC asleep in Britney’s boobs. Not too happy probably and she’d probably react the same way he did.
She heard the bathroom door open and JC walked out into the room. She sat up in bed and silently watched him strip for bed. He kept his back to her the entire time. Finally he turned off the light and got into the bed totally ignoring her. He turned his back to her as he laid in bed. She scooted over to him and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him stiffen at her touch.
“Jace, please, nothing happened. You know that. It’s Justin, his back was hurting and I was rubbing it for him when we fell asleep.” JC sighed and rolled onto his back, his eyes were all red and puffy. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” She said dropping kisses all over his face. She let a kiss linger on his lips before pulling away. JC picked up her hand and held it between his hands. He stared at their hands,
“I know nothing happened.” He whispered, “I guess I just freaked at the thought. I was scared that I could lose you because, I don’t know, there are better guys out there.”
“You don’t think that that thought runs through my mind? I’m just a little girl from New York, nothing much special about me. And you, you’re so wonderful, caring, gentle, sweet and sexy as well as handsome that you could have any woman you wanted.” She paused to kiss his forehead, “But at the end of the day, I know you come home to me and that clears all those thoughts out of my mind. When you’re lying next to me that’s when I know that everything is okay.” She whispered propping her head up on her hand. JC rubbed her hand that was caught between his.
“I know the other guys have crushes on you. I remember them talking about how hot you were, especially Justin. And when he wants something he can be pretty persistent till he gets it. Then I remember you saying how you’d sleep with him because of his hips and when I came home, there it was staring me in the face.” Izzy smiled at him and took her hand away from him and placed it on his hip,
“First of all, Junior’s hips don’t even compare to yours. Basically squirt’s no competition at all for you. He can give me his best I want you stare and I won’t even give it another glance. But you, whoo, you can just glance my way simply and I’m on the floor panting.” She breathed and JC looked up into her eyes with a small smile on his face,
“On the floor panting, huh?”
“Oh God yeah. I have complete tunnel vision when it comes to you. It’s like there’s no one else in the world.”
“What about when you tire of me?”
“I haven’t tired of you in six years, I doubt I’m ever gonna tire of you.” JC smiled and rolled over onto her laying his face on her chest.
“This shirt looks familiar.” He mumbled,
“It should, I stole it from your suitcase.” She teased and ran her hands through his hair.
“You’re already stealing my clothes.”
“It’s a sorry substitute for when you’re not in bed with me.” She shrugged.
“It smells like Justin.” He said making a face to which she laughed because it was so cute.
“Well,” she paused pushing JC away a little, pulling the shirt over her head and tossing it onto the floor, “who needs a substitute when I got the real thing.” She said and pulled JC back down on her naked chest.
“How the hell am I supposed to sleep with these beauties staring at me.”
“Well I can put the t-shirt back on…” She said moving towards the edge of the bed and JC pulled her back to him,
“No, no, that’s quite alright. I’m sure I can deal. I just might have to wear myself out, to sleep. That okay with you?” He said before taking one of her nipples into her mouth,
“Ohhh, yeahhh…” She gasped as his tongue teased the hard bud of one breast. She completely lost her train of thought as he suckled her. “Mmm…Josh…”
“I want you Bell…” He whispered as he grinded against her intimately,
“I’m all yours to take…” She breathed back to him and he pulled down her underwear slowly, building the anticipation in her, “Baby, I want you in me,” Izzy pleaded. “Please!” He didn’t hesitate. Quickly he rid himself of his boxers and plunged into her tight, trembling walls.
“Damn, Iz, you feel so good,” He groaned as he drove into her again and again. She twined her legs around the back of his and pulled his head down for a starved kiss.
“Harder. Oh, please, harder!” She begged. His thrusts became more forceful as she began to tremble with the now familiar precursors to ecstasy. JC knew she was ready once more when her fingernails dug into his back.
“That’s my baby,” He crooned as he drove into her. “Take me with you. Let it go. Let me feel you come for me.” The words were barely passed his lips when she cried out once more, quaking beneath him.
“Josh!” Her explosion into rapture triggered his. For a long moment after, they lay entwined, letting their breathing return to normal. She buried her face into his chest,
“Mmm, that was, was…”
“Fucking fantastic?” He answered for her.
“Yeah.” She breathed as she settled in to finally sleep.
JC played with Izzy’s hands while she slept. He knew he should get some sleep but he just wanted to watch her sleep for a while. She was so beautiful and she was all his. He laced his fingers through hers and brought them to his lips. JC placed them on his chest and traced little circles along the backside. He looked at the bracelets that she had been wearing. She always wore them not matter what she was doing or wearing. Ever since he met her six years ago she had worn those bracelets. He wondered if they had a special meaning to her or if she just liked wearing them.
JC gently flipped her hands over on his chest and danced his fingers against her palm. He moved the bracelets away and that’s when he noticed them, the five or six raised lines across Izzy’s wrists. JC looked closer at them and ran a finger over them. How many times had he held her hand or kissed her arms and never noticed them. JC sat up and looked for her other wrist. He moved the bracelets away and saw that she had the same scars on this one too except there was a thick perpendicular scar that ran a quarter of the way up her arm. JC now had both arms in his laps and was running his thumbs over the scars.
Izzy tried to mover her arms and woke when she found that she couldn’t. She opened her eyes to see a worried JC staring at her wrists.
“What are you doing?” She asked grumpily.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked quietly and she glanced down at what he was looking at. Izzy jerked her arms away from him,
“Because, it’s no big deal.” She got up from the bed and pulled on her robe.
“No big deal? You tried to kill yourself! That’s a pretty big deal!”
“It was in the past, JC. I really don’t like talking about it.”
“Did you think I would never notice?”
“I was hoping.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to tell me?”
“Because it’s not really something that comes up in conversation very often. ‘Hi how are you?’ ‘Fine, you?’ ‘Great, you know I tried to kill myself when I was thirteen.’ I mean it’s just something you don’t bring up!” She turned around trying to fight back the tears,
“Izzy, come back to bed please.” He pleaded and she sighed. She sat back down on the bed next to him. JC took her hands in his, “Can you tell me now?” She looked at him and took a deep breath,
“Do you really want to know?” She asked and he nodded,
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she took another calming deep breath, “I was thirteen and really messed up. It was when everything was going wrong in my life. Joey moved to Florida with his whole family, Gina moved to Florida for her job. Pauley went off to boarding school, my nana died and my mother hated me. I just couldn’t cope. I felt like I was losing touch with reality. So I went into the bathroom one night, filled up the tub with hot water and took a razor to my wrists.” She said in one long breath and flipped her one hand over and felt the scars. Her eyes stayed fixated on the scars as she retold her story. She seemed almost in a trance. “I remember cutting each one vividly. I remember how shiny the razor was and how sharp it was. I remember the smell of the blood and how it dripped slowly down my arms and over my hands. How the water turned bright red and how I couldn’t stop cutting, how I didn’t want to stop cutting.” Her eyes had glazed over as she was transported back in time and she relived her past. “I remember all the pain I had been feeling going away too, I was numb for the first time in months. I was happy in that tub, the more I cut the better I felt. This one,” She said tracing the long perpendicular one with a finger tip, “was to seal the deal, it bled the worst. I thought I had completed my task when Tony found me.”
“Thank God he did.” JC said kissing her forehead. She looked up in shock at the kiss as almost she had forgotten that he was even in the room.
“Yeah, I’m pretty grateful too.” She said slowly, “I was rushed to the hospital. I don’t remember much of that, just seeing Tony and then waking up in the psych ward. I was there for the summer and then it was decided that I would be better off having a fresh start. So I moved to Florida with Joey.”
“He must of freaked out when he heard.”
“Joey doesn’t know,” She said quietly and looked up into his eyes, “he was told that I was sent to camp for the summer. The hospital let me write letters every now and then. He wrote letters everyday. I had to see a shrink when I moved to Florida as part of the deal and I told him that it was because of my “discipline problems”.”
“Charles, I remember.” He said and she nodded. JC became really serious, “You don’t ever think of doing it again, do you?” He said caressing her face,
“No, I’m okay now. I have too much to live for now. Way too much to give up.”
“Thank God, but if you do will you tell me?”
“Josh, I’m fine. I swear, this is why I don’t tell people because they’ll walk on eggshells around me.”
“Okay, okay, you’re fine. I just don’t know if I could handle coming home and finding you like that.”
“I haven’t had a suicidal thought in ten years, I doubt that I’m gonna start having them now. I have too much love to give. I have a future and people to share it with. It won’t happen again I promise.” She leaned in and gently kissed his lips, “Okay?” he swallowed and kissed her back,
“Okay.” Izzy pulled away from JC to remove the robe and slid under the covers with him again,
“We’ve had quite a night. I think we both could use a little shut eye, don’t you?” She smiled as she pulled him down under the covers with her.
“Yeah, sounds like a good idea to me.”
“I love you Josh.” She rubbed her nose playfully against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead,
“Love you too, Bell. Goodnight.”