[Home] [Biography] [Pictures] [Journal] [Music] [Poems] [Links]
POEMS®
Paint Brush
Written by ©Bettie B. Youngs
I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.
I'd like to remove all my paint
coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and
close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with
all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush,
though, And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep
my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.
[Top]
Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville ;
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui pénètre mon coeur ?
Ô bruit doux de la pluie
Par terre et sur les toits !
Pour un coeur qui s'ennuie,
Ô le chant de la pluie !
Il pleure sans raison
Dans ce coeur qui s'écoeure.
Quoi ! nulle trahison ?...
Ce deuil est sans raison.
C'est bien la pire peine
De ne savoir pourquoi
Sans amour et sans haine
Mon coeur a tant de peine !
[Top]
addressed to yourself
Written ©by Jewel Aposhian
you help me not to over come
but to override the feeling of hate
I hold so dearly
when I'm with you
I want
to be protected and protect you
at the same time
from everything
I want to hold onto you
for all I'm worth
this desire of letting go
of tragedy
must be replaced with something
I hope you can engrave
in me
its so hard to express how I feel;
for what are my emotions
once spoken?
they become
power
at your feet
and my own vulnerability
I'm entrusting yet another with my heart
will it be worth the risk?
I'm standing on the edge
or will I fall
victim to my own trap
to what I perceive as love
am I setting my self up for others to
knock down
will I ever learn from my mistakes?
if not -- then I thank you for saving me
[Top]
choke
Written ©by Jewel Aposhian
I'm coughing
I'm choking
don't you hear me?
I'm drowning in air
cant you see me?
cant you save me?
from this tragic death?
my eyes are running
my nose is running
my thought is running
out of air
save me
fill my lungs
fill my heart
fill my mind
fill my life
[Top]
I wont cry for yesterday
Written ©by Jewel Aposhian
Its time to grow up
Its time to be a big girl now
time to forgive and forget
I wont relive and regret
I hope this isn't a mistake
I hope I'm not setting myself up
its easy thought but hard to say
nervousness takes over
I'm shaking
and tripping on my own words
maybe its wrong
but it seems right to do
I gotta grow up
and so do you
[Top]
Beautiful
Written ©by Debrene
You tell me that I'm beautiful
You love my big, green eyes
You say you like my pretty smile
But all these things are lies
Don't tell me that I'm beautiful
You don't know where I've been
Don't talk to me about these things
I hate myself again
[Top]
Never Again
Written ©by Amberle Waldrop
Never Again
I keep running back to you
I don’t know why, because that wont do,
we were always meant for each other
now I ask, why cant we be together
even though you don’t think so,
you hate me, so I should just go
but I cant, I try, but I wont
you don’t like me, you don’t
you’re still nice to me sometimes
but I cant deal with all these rhymes
not on this paper, but in my life
look there, it’s a knife
you took my heart and my soul, so I might as well die
you were never true to me, you always lied
now I take the knife and place it in my heart
I feel no pain, you already played that part.
Now I'm gone, and you still don’t care
I guess we’ll never be that perfect pair
[Top]
Suicide
Author Unknown
Had a bad day
Didn't want to stay
You had to ask why
And I, I had to lie
I'm feeling really down
All I do is frown
You have to ask why
And I, I have to lie
I went home
Sat in my room all alone
Memories of people calling me names
You and your fucking mind games
All the lies that I'd been dealt
Mixed emotions that I felt
Have no direction
Need some affection
Have no life
Only got a knife
Not sure what I'm doing
In my mind, I hear the children mooing
I cut my wrists
clench my fists
Close my eyes, I can't take this anymore
There you find me, dead on the floor
In my hand is a note
You pick it up and read the quote
Hands trembling, face so pale, you almost lose your head
And this is what that paper said;
"To whomever cared
Death I dared
Now I'm gone
You will live on
And to my beloved father
Sorry I was such a bother
And to my sweet and understanding mother
I love you, and to my brother
You will be great,
I hope upon death, you do not debate.
And to the one I love
I'm the one you took advantage of
You broke my heart
You tore me apart
Didn't I tell you, that one day
One day, I WOULD make you pay..."
[Top]
The Way I Am
Author Unknown
You think it's a secret that has to be told
You actually think I could be that bold
To come and tell you all my fears
The pain that's built up over the years
Why should you take this away from me?
My one last grip on reality
I hide because I'm not like you
I'm one of the weaker, frailer few
I don't want to die - I never have
Cutting myself is a safer path
Hurting myself on the outside, in
Is a healing process where I've already been
It helps me to grip my reality
Please don't take this away from me
[Top]
Never Say Forever
Author Unknown
Never say I love you
If you really don't care
Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you're going to break my heart
Never say you're going to
If you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie
Never say hello
If you really mean goodbye
Never say forever
If you aren't going to try
Never say forever
Cause forever makes me cry
[Top]
My Movie Life
Author Unknown
I'm watching this movie
Its about a sad little girl
She's always lost
Lost in her own little world
At least when she's there
She finds happiness
And her mind tends to forget
Forget the word "loneliness"
She's always wishing on stars
Wishing one day she'll find out
She's really from Mars
Cuz then it'll all make sense
It'll all make sense
Why for years she's been stuck
Stuck behind this tall, jagged fence
The fence is called Soledad
The fence was built by humans
Not God
After two hours of this movie
I've had enough
So I go to hit stop
Then as if hit by a thousand bricks
I fall to the ground
With a fast and fearful drop
I wasn't just watching this movie on big screen
The little girl is me
I'm living the real thing
[Top]
Depressed
Author Unknown
I sit down in my room and tears
start to flow
At this point I feel so low
I don't have any reason for crying
Control of it is what I an trying
I look in the mirror at myself an call out harsh names
But for this I am the only one to blame
Fat and ugly that's what I think
but then it all changes in just one blink
a mood swing happens
Suddenly I am dancing and my radio is blasting
Then I look at myself I sit there for ten minutes
While I compare myself to the rest
and it all comes back again
I am depressed
[Top]
You Vs. Me
Author Unknown
You wanted to know
So I told you
You got angry
And wanted to say
mean things
So I let you
Then said sorry
You want to leave
So I let you be
You wanted to find
someone else
So I let you free
You didn't want to care
So I let you, not
You never loved me
I love you a lot
[Top]
I Had A Dream
Author Unknown
I dreamt of you last night
Everything was just right
We made sense, you and I
I was so happy
I could just die
For once all you wanted was me
That's how I'm certain
It was nothing but a dream
[Top]
Ana Vs.
Depression
Author Unknown
My head hurts
My eyes are all blurred out
All I want to do
Is sit here and pout
My mind says
"Its time to eat"
I go to stand
But cant feel my feet
I see the food
But it doesn't better my mood
Instead my stomach takes
many turns and twists
My body no longer desires
the food that was once on my list
People keep pestering me
with questions
But I'm not yet ready for my confession
[Top]
[Home] [Biography] [Pictures] [Journal] [Music] [Poems] [Links]