Thou Beliest Thyself

“Pirate,” he replied.

She told him that she was not sorry, and she meant it at the time. The problem was, she could not quite make herself believe it. There were a lot of things she was sorry for. She was sorry that she kissed Jack; she could have shackled him to the mast without kissing him, she was only giving into curiosity because of what the damned compass kept saying. She was relieved to find that the kiss meant absolutely nothing to her. She might have been kissing the mast for all the feelings it stirred up in her (and the mast might have tasted better). Whatever the compass had been trying to show her, it was not that she most wanted Jack.

A feeling of immense guilt washed over her as she climbed down into the long boat. In kissing Jack she had betrayed Will, something she had sworn never to do. She loved her fiancée with all her heart; she never wanted to hurt him. But she found that she could barely meet his eyes when he asked where Jack was and she said that he elected to remain behind. She hoped that he never found out that she had kissed the other pirate.

Jack’s last word to her echoed in her mind during that long trip to Tia Dalma’s hut deep in the bayou. It was a very piratical act that she had committed, and the guilt that she felt as she climbed into the long boat was intensifying. She found that she could barely speak to Will or the others; how could she explain what she had done? Even after Tia Dalma revealed that there was a way to bring Jack back, and Barbossa showed himself, she could not bring up the subject of her betrayal. Not even to Will. Especially not to Will. He would not have understood, and judging from his own pensive behaviour, he also had a lot on his mind.