It has been a year today. A year since the most wonderful day of my life. This day last year, Murdock made me the happiest man on earth. This was the day that he told me that he loved me too. Four months earlier I had finally realized that I was in love with him, but I didn't think that he loved me that way. I lost all interest in dating beautiful women, and was slowly withdrawing from life. It had become too hard to pretend to search for the "perfect" woman when I knew who I really wanted. I managed to hide my unhappiness from Hannibal and BA, but I have never been able to hide from Murdock. He noticed my depression and kept trying to get me to open up to him. Eventually, Hannibal noticed that something was wrong and talked to Murdock. I don't know what they said, but next thing I knew, Hannibal locked Murdock and I in a storeroom and told us that he wouldn't let us out until I told Murdock what the problem was. To say that I was scared was an understatement. If I talked, I would lose everything that gave my life meaning. For the first hour of our confinement I sat huddled in a corner and refused to speak. I could feel an enormous tension headache building as I waited for my world to end.

Murdock tried talking to me, but I was trapped in my own misery. It wasn't until I felt strong arms wrapping around me that something broke loose within me and I found myself crying harder than I ever had before. Murdock rocked me gently, holding me tightly until the worst was over. It was then that he spoke again. His voice sounded so lost and defeated as he asked one question.
"Is loving me really that bad?"
That's when I knew that he knew. I forced myself to look up at him. He looked so lost that I couldn't ignore him any longer.
"No."
"Then why couldn't you admit it?"
"I didn't want to lose your friendship."
"That will never happen." Murdock said confidently.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I love you too." He stated firmly.
It took a moment for that to sink in, but when it did, I felt happiness beyond anything I had ever felt before. I looked into his eyes and saw the truth there. That is also when I realized that it had always been there.
"How could I have been so blind?" I whispered before leaning forward to kiss the incredible man in front of me.

As our lips met I felt all of the pieces of my life click into place. At last I felt complete. If I had any doubts before about him being my soul mate, they were gone now. He is definitely the other half of my soul. I know it sounds so clichéd, but it is the truth. I love him so much, and just in that one kiss, I could feel just how much he loved me in return.

When we broke apart, we just stared at each other in awe. I felt as if I should pinch myself to make sure this was real, and not just a dream. We clung to each other, but because of the constant tension and my crying jag, I didn't have the energy to do anything else. In fact, I was starting to feel very tired. I hadn't been sleeping too well before this, and it all crashed down on me at once. Murdock noticed this and quickly tapped out a rhythm on the door. Within a minute the lock clicked, and Hannibal poked his head inside.
"I trust everything is sorted out now."
"Yes Colonel, but Face needs some sleep now."
"Right. Are congratulations in order?"
I blushed, but Murdock just hugged me harder and nodded enthusiastically.
"Great... I just love it when a plan comes together!"
I groaned at that, but was too tired to care much.

I slept for 20 hours straight. Murdock stayed with me and held me while I slept. When I finally woke, I was curled around Murdock. It felt so right to wake like that. I watched as Murdock surfaced from sleep. The moment those brown eyes met mine, I fell in love all over again. This was everything I had ever dreamed of.

Our relationship wasn't consummated until a week later. We had spent the time talking and holding each other, and managed to learn so much more about each other. I was a bit scared about the physical side as I had never been with a guy before, but by the time it actually happened, my fear had left me. It was so beautiful, and I had never felt so loved and desired. Afterwards, we held each other and cried tears of joy. I know that that also sounds clichéd, but that is my life now. Every day is one love cliché after another, but I'm definitely not complaining. In fact I now can't imagine life any other way.

We moved in together with the blessings of Hannibal, BA, and Dr Richter. Hannibal just wanted us both to be happy, and BA and Dr Richter were happy because Murdock was so much more stable now. He was still spontaneous and knew how to have fun, but he wasn't actually insane now. He is such a romantic. He always shows me how much he loves me with intimate nights at home, poetry, back rubs, pampering etc. I have never had that before and so that makes it even more special. Of course it hasn't always been smooth going. Like any couple, we have fights, but the love is always stronger than our differences. Making up can be so much fun!

Having had a whole year of this love has helped to overcome the demons of my past. I now *believe* that I am worthy of this love, and that I am a worthwhile person. I don't know what I will do if anything happens to Murdock. I love him so much. All this just goes to show that love really does conquer all.

Part 2 coming soon!

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