Question and answer session.
Q. Who are you, and where are you?
A. Sean, I'm up a tree out side Ely Cathedral.
A. Jean, in an opium den in south Bermondesey, directions available
for a small fee.
A. Robin, in SE london.
Q. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A. Bed, cheese, shopping, riding on the top deck of a bus through London
on a rainy day after finding £1,000,000 actually, no, riding on
a bus on a sunny day through the countryside and all of a sudden these
woodland creatures hi-jack the bus, and we are kidnapped and taken into
the forest and fed tea and cake and made to listen to Eric Satie and
watch TV. That moment between sleeping and waking. The roar of the crowd.
Q. Which living person do you most admire?
A. Hustler editor, Larry Flint, for standing up for his right to freedom
of speech Nelson Mandela, maintained decorum throughout Rolf Harris,
a superstar Christopher Walken, one mad bastard Morris Spurting, aka
Morrie the Head, a great diamond thief Dandy Warhols for writing Hardon
for Jesus, Elvis, for still being alive.
Q. What is your favourite word?
A. Pelvis, Champagne, Galivant, Monkey, Lubricious, Plashing, Shit.
Q. What cause would you die for?
A. None. To give someone else my place. The right one. Proliferation
of guest ales.
Q. How would you like to be remembered?
A. She spent every penny. Often and with bitterness. Ghetto fabulous.
Bom to party.
Q. What are you listening to when you answer this?
A. Jean, Babble.
Q. Whose records/books are exciting you this week?
A. Hives. Matthew Collings, White Stripes, Dead Sea Scrolls, Sticky
Fingers nose flute bit in Herbie Hancock's Watermelon Man.
Q. Who is making you angry right now?
A. People who write Emmerdale for not making the cast suddenly develop
dysentry while locked in a small room with spikes on the inside. Gareth
Gates, who cares if he's got a speech impediment. Human flies in pubs
who take your drink before your finished. People who catagorise girl
singers by their hair colour, doesn't apply to boy singers. The rich.
Q. Whats the best rumour you've heard about yourself?
A. I'd had my willy pierced. They would'nt dare speak about me.
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