 
Bruno Bonnell, CEO of french games company Infogrames, was revealed as the criminal mastermind who acquired the Atari label from clueless toy makers, Hasbro. Bonnell is known to be a modest and generous man, even allowing his name to appear in big letters on the title screens of games he had nothing to do with. We visit the Infogrames dictator's palace to find out about his atari related plans. "We are going to restart the atari hardware division." bellows Bonnell, snorting coke from his marble topped desk. "They should produce gadgets that people can relate to. Stuff that would sell. Things that can make money" Now this could be interesting. The man behind such innovative titles as "Tazmanian Devil Munching Madness" and "Bugs Bunny & Taz - Time Busters" lending his creative genius to creating atari machines. What would Mr Bonnell be getting those hardware engineers to produce? "I have a number of ideas." announces Bonnell, "A hat that actually makes your hair grow would be good. Also an invisible cup - how cool would that be? I have some early designs for a Kylie Minogue tractor beam. And a wanking machine. That would be great." 
Travis Geiselbrecht, the man who invented the cunningly titled NewOS, declared "NewOS will change how we think about operating systems and how we think about ourselves. We have the future at our fingertips." The Cafe Fuji team chatted to regulars about this exciting new development, and the most common response was "Why is he bothering?" But look at these features:
NewOS has been ported to the Sega Dreamcast, and teenagers are already throwing away their copies of Crazy Taxi so they can get down to some serious kernel debugging. Travis dropped by the Cafe yesterday with a demo version of the Falcon port of NewOS. "It's like nothing you have ever seen before." he boasted "It will totally blow you away" 
So far titles have been revealed for GameCube, PS2 & X-Box, and at a grand unveiling at the E3 games show in LA, Sega unveiled the Atari ST as the fourth next gen platform that they will be porting games to. Vistors to Error In Line got a sneak preview of an ST Port of 'Chu Chu Rocket' by Reservoir Gods. A press release from Sega Japan today reveals the identity of second development team to bring the world of Sega to the people of Atari. A new atari crew, Defect, have snatched the prestigous licence. Based in the UK and headed by legendary atari coder, Carbon, they have the seemingly impossible task of squeezing 128 bit games into an 8 bit format. "It may look difficult" admits Carbon "but fortunately I am a genius. I've even learned ST Basic." There first title will be a port of futurstic dancing game Space Channel 5 "I'm handling all the development myself, the coding, the music and the graphics" boasts Carbon, "I'm even doing the motion capture"
Unfortunately for them, British Boffin Grazey decoded the demo using simple household appliances. And he is ready to spill the beans - for a price. We dipped our hands into the Café Fuji biscuit tin and crossed the G-Man's palm with silver* in order to bring you THE TRUTH.
"Listen to me. I will say this only once. You nonce." instructed Grazey
For those who have difficulty following simple instructions, the hidden section is an old-skool sample demo. It features a digitised picture of DMA SC, volume bars and a scroller. The sector one musician has cut up a 3 channel mix of the current french number one by Vanessa Paradis.
The Brain-Blasting Hidden Screen *actually foil from Kit Kat wrappers - but don't tell him that
"The standard of released demos is appalling" he blasts "Does no-one test anything?" Angry Man takes his job seriously. "All my freetime is dedicated to finding small mistakes in demos. It makes me feel less inadequate about myself."
Angry Man is 94.
Say hello to EIL2 shower star "Mermaid" from Austrian Falcon Demo & BathSex crew, "Squelch".
Dish O' The Day
It's only 2 years until the next party. We're stocking up on shower gel.
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