Chapter 1: in which Mitsuru and Shinobu’s minds converge
~Saturday night~
Mitsuru levered himself quietly onto the window ledge then dropped, catlike, into the room. The bright moon limned his dark-clothed figure, giving the boy an ethereal quality as he stood poised, listening. Shinobu’s even breathing and a slight creaking of the old dorm were the only sounds that regaled his ears. Satisfied that his entrance had gone unnoticed, Mitsuru stealthily peeled off his commando attire and stuffed the sweat-soaked clothes in the bottom of the laundry hamper. He hastily donned a pair of striped pajamas, shivering slightly. Although the night was leaden with the oppressive heat that signaled summer, the perspiration that beaded his body from his exertions chilled him far more than was comfortable. Mitsuru was about to shrug into his pajama top, sighing silently at the thought of a bath untaken, when a rustling in the bottom bunk made him freeze.
Shinobu.
Shinobu’s bed curtain was not drawn, a futile attempt to let in a nonexistent breeze, so Mitsuru was given a full view of his roommate. In bed. Naked.
Naked?
Mitsuru quickly turned his head to look away then berated himself at his stupidity. Shinobu was obviously asleep or he would have said something off-putting and sly about Mitsuru’s unconventional entrance by now. And who cared if the sleeping boy was in the buff? It was stiflingly hot, after all. But Mitsuru had lived with his roommate for two years and in that time, he had never seen Shinobu’s guard down, not even in slumber. So the boy unclothed - and thus, symbolically, bereft of his armor - was enough to make Mitsuru suspicious.
A game? A bet? What’s he up to?
Mitsuru drew nearer to Shinobu’s bed and glared at the boy. It was just like Shinobu to unsettle him, even unconscious. It was times like these, when he was made to second guess himself by the one person he trusted above all, that Mitsuru almost resented ever having met Shinobu Tezuka. With an inarticulate growl of frustration, Mitsuru resigned himself to never knowing the cause of his roommate’s lack of sleeping attire and was about to launch himself onto the top bunk when Shinobu shifted. The sheet that had covered the lower half of his body slid sensuously even lower. Mitsuru stood, one hand on his bunk, transfixed.
He’s fully naked.
A heat that had nothing to do with the summer weather erupted from his bowels and Mitsuru involuntarily clutched at his stomach. It wasn’t pain, more like an inhumanly powerful sensation of desire. No…no…NO! This was wrong. This was very wrong. But even as his mind cried out in denial, his body betrayed him by reacting with uncompromising arousal. He’s fully naked. And vulnerable. And…and…so beautiful.
Mitsuru succumbed to temptation and lingered at the foot of his bunk. He allowed his eyes, now turned deep purple due to the emotions coursing through him, to wander almost possessively over the other boy’s prone form. He followed the rise and fall of Shinobu’s bare chest with fierce hunger, let his gaze slide up and down the angles and planes of Shinobu’s exposed flesh. Mitsuru hadn’t realized until that moment how much he’d been needing to do this, to stare fully and unstintingly upon his best friend and…
Lover.
The thought skittered lazily through his mind and Mitsuru grabbed it before it could flit away. Is that what I want? He questioned himself in disbelief. Is that the reason why I haven’t told him about everything else – because I’m scared of admitting that…I want Shinobu? Do I want him in that way? No! He’s my best friend. I’m just exhausted. Exhausted and angry and in over my head. Yes, that’s it. I don’t know what to do and Shinobu would, but I won’t let him bail me out. Not this time. I have to do this myself. But I could use his help and I want him to…want him…want…him…
Mitsuru could not ignore the heat that swept through his being, the desire that threatened to consume him. He yearned to reach down and seize Shinobu’s face in his hands, ravage the almost too-thin lips, drive his questing tongue in the warm depths of that mouth, press his trembling body against that naked chest…
So beautiful. And it would be so easy. He’s asleep. He wouldn’t know. Unconsciously, Mitsuru had released his death grip on his bunk and found himself leaning over Shinobu. He watched calmly as his hand, moving without his awareness, approached Shinobu’s head and began a feather-light caressing of the boy’s hair. Moon beams and silk-spun webs. That’s what each strand seemed to feel like as Mitsuru brushed silvery locks from Shinobu’s brow.
Then, reality slammed into him like a subway train and Mitsuru jerked his hand away as if it were on fire. What an unbelievable bastard! Mitsuru raged impotently. Even in sleep, he always has to have the upper hand! Even if I did want him, which hasn’t been established as fact yet, why do I have to make the first move? Why do I have to open up to him first? And what if…what if he doesn’t feel the same way?
Mitsuru groaned inaudibly and sank to his knees by Shinobu’s bunk. He could almost imagine the cool green eyes assessing him noncommittally. Shinobu wouldn’t be disgusted. No, he would simply stare blankly at Mitsuru then cock an eyebrow at the boy and coolly proclaim his disinterest. The thought of this indifference was worse than any horror or revulsion Shinobu could show. Mitsuru didn’t think he had the strength to deal with that, especially after what he’d been through the past two weeks. He needed Shinobu’s friendship and support, more so now than ever, and if this desire damaged that in any way… Mitsuru didn’t even want to contemplate the consequences.
Mitsuru rose and prepared for the second time to climb into his bed. And it was at that instant that Shinobu, previously still, decided to let out a wistful sigh and turned over on his side, exposing a lithe expanse of taut muscle and tempting buttocks. Mitsuru gulped, both hands gripping his bunk. The moon’s light played with the sleeping form, casting mysterious, sensuous shadows on the small of Shinobu’s back, on that place between his shoulder blades, on the crack of his…
No…no…NO! Mitsuru railed and ranted silently, ground his teeth, beat his forehead against his bunk, willed his body to stand down, soldier! The self-inflicted pain seemed to do the trick as the sudden hardness in his groin subsided. Mitsuru grinned to himself in triumph.
Ha! I beat you, Shinobu! I am stronger than you!
Then Mitsuru realized that his so-called “battle” had been won against an unconscious, unknowing enemy and the sheer ludicrousness of the entire situation dawned on him.
I don’t need this. I don’t need any more complications in my life. I don’t need to be…
Touching Shinobu one more time. Just once, lightly, on his back. Trace a finger down the curve of his spine, feel his smooth skin under my fingertips, make him shiver, wake him up, make him turn to me and open his eyes and want me and reach for me and pull me to him…
No…no…NO! This time, Mitsuru didn’t bother with stealth as he leaped noisily into his bed and clacked the bed curtains closed. It was a good thing his little midnight expedition had drained him physically or it would have been a sure bet that his current emotional state would’ve kept him up, in every sense of the word. Because, as exhaustion claimed him, Mitsuru’s last thoughts were of a decidedly wicked and non-platonic nature.
****
The musky scent of sweat and maleness assailed Shinobu’s nostrils even before he heard Mitsuru’s feet land on the bedroom floor. So in tune was he to his friend that, even with eyes closed, Shinobu could almost see the other boy’s entrance from the window, his hurried motions as he undressed, the shiver that immediately followed Mitsuru’s disrobement.
Ah! Shinobu thought. Safe at home. Finally. The game’s afoot.
Shinobu chuckled inwardly as he “saw” Mitsuru hide his dirty clothes in the hamper. Did he really think I was stupid? Tsk, tsk, my friend. You, of all people, should know not to underestimate me. Then Shinobu paused in his glee. But perhaps you were right to think so lightly of me. If I were truly as astute as I believe, then I would already have ascertained the reason for these midnight jaunts.
But Shinobu was never at a loss for tricks up his sleeve. He knew it was only a matter of time before Mitsuru broke down and shared his secret. The boy could never hold anything in for long. It was this openness that had drawn Shinobu to him in the first place. Partners in crime. Friends forever. Brothers in arms. That’s what they seemed to the whole world. But sometimes even brothers withheld information from each other. And sometimes, brothers could get of sick of waiting. Which was why Shinobu had decided to sleep naked that night.
He hadn’t set out to be deliberately tempting, not at first anyway. At first, Mitsuru had begun his late night forays, Shinobu had paid him no heed. Yes, there was a serious purposefulness to Mitsuru’s actions. Yes, the boy had seemed preoccupied during the day, almost eager for sun’s setting for the past week. Yes, there had been that mysterious phone call and Mitsuru’s cold withdrawal from those close to him. But Shinobu was used to such distracted indifference; he, himself, had perfected the art form of calm, cool and collected. And Mitsuru, having lived with him for the past two years, sometimes affected his mannerisms.
What had been different this time, however, was that Mitsuru had effectively shut out not only Greenwood’s occupants but Shinobu as well. And Shinobu, even armed with extraordinary psychic abilities, had not been able to penetrate the wall that had built up between them. It had caused much tension between the two roommates; even their neighbors and sometime co-conspirators, Hazukawa and Shun, had noticed the duo’s estrangement. Mitsuru had managed to maintain that shield for too long, as far as Shinobu was concerned. And, that night, Shinobu had decided that enough was enough. He hated that Mitsuru had the upper hand in this scenario and Shinobu couldn’t resist the challenge of breaking down the boy’s walls.
So, naked. Shinobu knew what impressions he had cultivated in the minds of his peers: unruffled, stoic, almost automaton-like. Some who resented him even went so far as to call him an unfeeling bastard. Not to his face, of course. Where Mitsuru’s temper, equally as dangerous as his when aroused, was fiery and hot, Shinobu’s was all ice. Most of the boys preferred facing Mitsuru’s wrath than Shinobu’s; at least it was something they were familiar with, something human.
But we digress. So, naked. Shinobu had to think of something that would startle his roommate out of his cold indifference of the last week, but not something so obvious that Mitsuru would be suspicious. Shinobu wanted to stimulate Mitsuru’s curiousity enough to cause the boy to question him and, in the course of Mitsuru’s interrogation, Shinobu had planned to worm the boy’s secret out of him while not revealing any of his at all. It would have been a delicious coup. A bit sophomoric, he admitted, but effective nonetheless if he played his cards right.
And the only scheme Shinobu could come up with that would accomplish his goal and afford him some wicked pleasure as well was the whole naked thing. He was not oblivious to the side glances Mitsuru had been giving him ever since they had played that practical joke on Hasukawa. After that day, when the two roommates had almost kissed and caused Hasukawa to explode into one of his now-infamous nosebleeds, an exciting electricity had built between Shinobu and Mitsuru. It felt like a first crush; when unspoken emotions and desires succeeded in heightening every glance and every casual physical contact to stomach-clenching extremes. Because of his extremely sensitive psychic abilities, Shinobu had been the first – and, as far as he was aware – the only one of the pair who acknowledged and gave name to the tension. Lust. He lusted after Mitsuru.
And was that so bad? Everyone else and their daughter lusted after Mitsuru. He of the lopsided grin and the sun-kissed hair. He of the long, lean limbs and tight, flat stomach. He of the graceful lines and gleaming amethyst eyes. Granted, most of those who worshiped Mitsuru were of the female persuasion, but what was gender when physical attraction was involved? Shinobu was not prone to bigoted parochialism.
But Mitsuru, having been brought up in a temple, tended to be a bit more conservative than he. Shinobu knew the boy would never act upon the tension, would not even consider admitting to its cause. Mitsuru would more than likely ignore it – which he had been doing – and hope it went away.
Not if I can help it, Shinobu thought gleefully.
It was too much fun. Because Shinobu accepted his lust, he felt fully in control of the situation and milked it for all it was worth. A casual arm around the other’s shoulder, ever-increasing offers to bathe together at the end of the day, long, inscrutable stares that ended in enigmatic smiles. Oh, yes. What delicious fun! And the culmination of all this fun? Why, naked in bed, of course.
But Shinobu didn’t like to think of himself as a tease so when he had discarded his clothes, folded them away neatly and slipped between the sheets that night, his primary goal was the breaking down of Mitsuru’s defenses, nothing more. But, if something interesting should ensue, well…
Alright, pajama bottoms on. Let’s see what happens if I…do…this…
Shinobu shifted in bed to draw attention to himself. He willed his breath to stay even and deep, feigning sleep, and prepared for melt down. He expected Mitsuru to do one of two things: either ignore him as usual which would have been a minor setback at worst; Shinobu had other things planned. That, or Mitsuru would not be able to contain his curiousity and would make some noise to “wake him up” and then would proceed to harass him about his state of undress. The latter scenario was the scenario of choice, of course.
The room was so still. What was Mitsuru doing? Shinobu felt his presence by his bed and wondered if he dared sneak a peek when he was suddenly awash with heat and passion and desire and ferocious longing…
Mitsuru!
Mitsuru’s defenses were down, all right. And Shinobu was getting the full brunt of his emotions. Oh, Mitsuru! Shinobu felt his body being devoured by the other boy’s eyes and, what was that? Did he just think…lover?! Yes…yes…YES! Shinobu concentrated mightily when he felt Mitsuru draw back then almost laughed in delight when he sensed his friend leaning over him. Just a few inches more.
Ah!
Mitsuru’s touch, gentle, questing, felt tremendous. It was all Shinobu could do to keep from snatching the boy’s hand from his hair and dragging him into the bed. Shinobu almost purred when Mitsuru brushed his bangs from his forehead.
Then the wall slammed up.
Shinobu’s physical attunement to his roommate was intact and he “saw” Mitsuru lean back on his haunches by his bed but he was no longer a participant in Mitsuru’s mind. What had happened? He was so close. So close to surrendering. If Shinobu had known the petulance and stubbornness and unfulfilled longing roiling within Mitsuru, he would have hit something in desperate frustration. As it was, all Shinobu could think to do was move the moment right along. He sighed. If I must…
Shinobu turned over on his side and strategically pulled the sheets down with his right foot. Though the night was still summer hot, his bare back and buttocks experienced an almost erotic coolness as he exposed himself. Positively indecent, Shinobu cackled to himself.
And he caught it again. Mitsuru’s thoughts. Mitsuru thinking of him, of touching him, of kissing him, of doing that to him there…he encouraged these notions with some of his own. Yes, Mitsuru. Just like that! More of that…and…ummmm…then…yes…and…
And…gone.
What?!
It took a while before the clacking of the bed curtains and Mitsuru’s absence from his side registered in Shinobu’s mind. What the hell? Shinobu had been so caught up in his own pleasure that the link he had tried to sustain with Mitsuru’s mind had been effectively sundered. So much for the power of passion, Shinobu thought ruefully. My, my, he’s gotten better at his defenses! Ah, but I taught you how to shield, my friend, and the master has not become the pupil yet.
As Mitsuru drifted off to sleep, Shinobu managed to weasel his way into his friend’s subconscious and planted a last, lascivious parting thought.
There’s always tomorrow.