First, an acquaintance is someone whose name you know, whom you see every now and then, with whom you probably have something in common, and round whom you feel comfortable. It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people with whom you wouldn't share your life, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know everything about them.

These are your acquaintances.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with him or her, but you care about the person, and you think about him or her when they are not there. Friends are the people of whom you are reminded when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless. They are the people you see in your mind when you hear a song on the radio because they made you go up to the person they like and ask them to dance with them. Maybe you danced with them, and maybe they stepped on your toes, or just put their head on your shoulder. They are the people around whom you feel safe because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because friends don't need an excuse. They tell you the truth---the first time---and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen. They are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you, they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it. They are the people with whom you cried when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go. Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people that give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. They are certainly the people that cry at your wedding because they are happy, or because they are proud, or because they are so in love. They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward, because they understand the things you do and they love you for them. They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live, and you watch them live, and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

These are your friends.

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice-cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your Mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor's window and that she hugs and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you---tough times and disappointment; hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

If you are my friend, please answer this:
Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once but I forgot.
So tell me now and tell me true.
So I can say, "I'm here for you."
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the one I won't forget.
And if I die before you do,
I'll go to Heaven
And wait for you.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. Upon arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

After opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles, and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward, he walked me to my car. We passed the tree, and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning, I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is," he said with a smile, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

2. Remember that this difficult time will pass. It may feel that you are in a repeating time warp, but realize that pain is time-limited. All problems have a beginning and an end. Be Patient!!!

3. Make rough times work for you. Not everything is good, but the Bible reminds us that everything can be used for good if you submit your will to God. Look for ways to learn, grow, or cope in your pain or stress. Have Courage!!!

4. Take "what is" and make the most of it. Make lemonade from your lemons. You are not called upon to create perfection from every situation, only to make the most of it. Don't waste your time on ceaseless complaining, but look for meaning and joy in all situations. Be Content!!!

5. Clean up your own trash. Stand on your own feet and don't try to blame others for your problems. You are not a victim. Choose to live the rest of your life with a controlled response to what is happening. Take Responsibility!!!

6. Be true to you. You will have more strength for dealing with ordeals in life if you have the courage to be true to your own values. Hypocrisy destroys internal energy. Model Integrity!!!

7. Be gladder than madder. Expressions of gratitude calm the soul and clear the mind. Show Gratitude!!!

8. Have as much fun as you can. Anticipation of fun raises the level of your energy. Learn to laugh through your trials. Display Humor!!!

9. Determine what is within your control. You cannot control what happens to you, but you can choose the frame you put around your experiences. You can choose how you will deal with all situations. Exhibit Internal Control!!!

10. Be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm literally means, "God in us." If He is in you, let your life so shine. Learn to love life. Show Your Passion!!!

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.

The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.

When the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of her wings would live.

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember the One who loves you and then, be different because of it. Don't drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too rarely. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just pass it by.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that years only grow!

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical-whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice-cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice-cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice-cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite, silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.

"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is an occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician.

His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Mid-Western town where my sister's family lives.

I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom...

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologies and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she and I would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing. I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and children often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.

And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

"If anybody stands up and is trying to take over the plane, stand up together, take whatever you have and throw it at their heads," she quoted the pilot as saying. "You have to aim for their faces so they have to defend themselves."

The pilot also said passengers could fight hijackers by throwing blankets over their heads, wrestling them to the ground and holding them until he landed, Rockel said. And referring to the "we the people" preamble to the Constitution, she recalled, he said, "We will not be defeated."

"Everybody on the plane was applauding," said Rockel, a medical transcriptionist traveling from Denver to Washington, D.C., September 15 on United's Flight 564. "People had tears coming down their faces. It was as if we had a choice here, that if something were to happen we're not completely powerless."

Peter Hannaford, a public relations consultant on the plane, wrote about the incident in a column published in The Washington Times. He described how the pilot urged passengers to use books, glasses, shoes and other instruments to attack hijackers. His message quickly spread via the Internet.

United Airlines declined comment on the incident. Spokeswoman Liz said the airline had not changed its policy on what flight crews should say, adding that what this pilot did "is probably due to duress."

The pilot's message, while unorthodox, is part of a growing feeling among some aviation safety experts in the wake of the terrorist attacks that travelers must be more aggressive in resisting hijackers.

Some passengers on United Flight 93, one of four planes commandeered September 11, apparently rushed the hijackers and are believed to have helped prevent the aircraft from reaching Washington, D.C. The plane nose-dived in a Pennsylvania field -- the only one not to hit a target.

The take-charge approach is a shift in decades-long attitudes by both pilots and passengers that cooperation is the best approach for dealing with hijackers.

But that belief "was based on the fundamental premise that the hijackers are rational human beings and want to live," said Raleigh Truitt, a pilot who heads his own aviation consulting firm in New Jersey.

"When you're on an airplane and it's controlled by people who are ... bent on destroying themselves and others," he said, "the reaction has to be different."

John Mazor, a spokesman for the Air Line Pilots Association, said pilots are now considering the possibility of heading a public awareness campaign to emphasize that "safety is everybody's responsibility."

"We're using the term `aggressively defend the airplane,"' Mazor said.

"The danger is we don't want passengers to suddenly be forming posses every time somebody speaks with a foreign accent," he added. "There has to be some way of channeling this and making sure it's not unleashed except in cases of dire emergency."

The union is leading a campaign to improve airline safety and one of the first priorities will be to get a stronger cockpit door, Mazor said. He also said pilots are rethinking their opposition to guns in the cockpit.

"We can't limit ourselves to situations that used to work," he said.

This discussion of new air safety techniques come as some pilots and flight crews returning to the skies are taking extra steps to reassure rattled travelers.

Beth Rosen, a suburban Chicago passenger who flew from Paris to Cincinnati last weekend, said the Delta pilot kept his passengers apprised of every step he was taking -- even notifying them when he opened the cockpit door.

"A couple of times he would say, 'Everything's going great. We're flying fine.' You felt like they were your buddies in the cockpit," she said.

On the unusual trip to Washington last week, Rockel said, a flight attendant urged passengers to chat with one and show each other family photos.

Hannaford said he thought the message from the pilot -- who thanked the passengers for being brave -- was terrific.

"There was a palpable sense of relief," he said. "My wife and I said, 'What an amazing thing to say.'" Hannaford said he wrote a letter to United's chairman, praising the pilot.

"What he said was short but sweet," he said. "This man ought to get a medal."

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car." "How far will we have to drive?" "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign that read: Daffodil Garden.

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers. "But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn.

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one: 50,000 bulbs, it read.

The second answer was: One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain.

The third answer was: Began in 1958.

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life changing experience.

I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time often just one baby step at a time and learning to love the doing; learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is the way.

So, stop waiting... Until your car or home is paid off. Until you get a new car or home. Until your kids leave the house. Until you go back to school. Until you finish school. Until you lose 10 lb. Until you gain 10 lb. Until you get married. Until you get a divorce. Until you have kids. Until you retire. Until summer. Until spring. Until winter. Until fall. Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching.

I'd really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friend and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you donā??t like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you--tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

We secure our friends not by accepting favors, but by doing them.

-by Paul Harvey