Ruling Rue Royale
Chapter Eight
David fed quickly and returned. He searched for Louis telepathically and found him near Armstrong Park. Louis had closed his thoughts to the best of his ability, and David didn't pry. He truly regretted the high tone he had taken with Louis. He worried until Louis returned. He was relieved to see the color in Louis's face.
"David." Louis nodded to him as he handed him a London Times.
"Louis," David followed him into the parlour. "I must apologize. I was . . . . . overwrought."
"You should be careful of acquiring Lestat's bad habits," Louis said, sitting at his desk and opening his Times-Picayune. His tone was certainly polite, but not particularly friendly.
"I will be more vigilant in future. I really didn't mean to offend you." David said sincerely.
Louis waved this off without looking up from his paper.
David sat on the sofa and chewed his lip. He had been very rude and pushy, he knew it. He had tried to treat Louis as Lestat did, like a child. He had plainly forgotten his place. Louis had very kindly been treating him as an equal, giving him the respect of a peer, which he was not and had not earned. And he had taken advantage of that and tried to act superior. He was ashamed of himself. Louis had opened his home, his life and his heart to him, though Louis had no reason to do so. And this was how David had repaid him.
David looked to the desk. Louis was holding himself stiffly upright, in perfect posture, and turning the pages of the newspaper so quietly that David could barely hear the rustle. Louis's face was completely expressionless. David was miserable.
Louis was pretending to read the paper while mentally berating himself for having put himself in that situation. He should have fed. What was he thinking? And David, he could hardly blame him for his authoritative air. After all, David had witnessed him childishly bickering with Lestat. David noticed how he allowed Lestat to treat him. David knew that he and Lestat were not lovers, and at the slightest suggestion he had thrown himself at David like a cheap whore. Just last night he had been weeping at a film like some insipid schoolgirl. Of course David regarded him as weak and pathetic. Of course David had no respect for him, how could he? Christ, it was humiliating.
"VOILA!" Lestat bounded into the parlour, brandishing printed pages. "I have finished the next New York Times, #1 bestseller! Who wants to read it first?"
David was off of the sofa in a split second, hugging Lestat and congratulating him. "Well done! I hope you gave yourself plenty of heroic moments."
"But David, ALL of my moments are heroic! Here David, you read it first." Lestat handed him the manuscript. "You read much faster than Louis, and I don't want you to have to wait until Christmas to behold my genius."
This off-hand teasing had an unexpected and unusually violent result. Louis stood and threw the paper down, glaring at Lestat and David and saying in a voice which was clear and quiet, yet filled with hate, "You can both fuck yourselves." Then he was gone through the kitchen door.
"What in hell was that about?" Lestat asked David, after he recovered from nearly three full minutes of shocked silence.
"Oh . . . I . . ." David shrugged. "It has been an eventful night."
Lestat folded his arms. "What do you mean by that?"
David sighed and sat down, Lestat sat beside him. "I am afraid I insulted him this evening."
Lestat's jaw tightened. "Go on."
"He missed feeding last night and so this evening I was insisting that he go with me, and I am afraid I was a bit patronizing to him."
"What do you mean he 'missed feeding' last night?"
"Well, I suppose he got involved with something else." David pushed his thick hair off of his forehead.
"WHAT else?" Lestat demanded.
"Look, Lestat-"
"No, David, YOU look, I want to know what has happened to Louis and I want to know now!"
"Lestat, Louis will be fine. Let me read your manuscript." David opened the bound pages.
Lestat ripped them from his hands, and threw it to the floor. The pages came loose and scattered over the room. "Tell me where he is!"
"What?" David was startled.
"You can find him! Tell me where he is!"
"Alright, alright, be still and let me think." David took a deep breath and let it out, then closed his eyes. "He is walking . . .still in the city . . .cemetery . . ." David opened his eyes, "Saint Louis Number One."
"Thank you David," Lestat said. He looked around at the unbound pages and then back to David's stricken face. "Listen, my friend, I am sorry. But you don't know Louis like I do. This is very serious. There is something terribly, terribly wrong with him to act like that." Lestat kissed David. "Please understand."
David gave him a small smile. "I do."
Lestat nodded and went out the door.
Louis was sitting in the narrow space between two tombs, looking up at his own.
Louis de Pointe du Lac
1766-1794
'Twenty-eight years. Three of them not even mortal. And now what, two hundred and twenty-three? Or will be at my next birthday. Birthdays, how long has it been since I celebrated a birthday? Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu, and what has become of me? Am I anyone at all? Am I still myself? Was everything I told David last night lies? Have I been lying to myself? Am I the same man who ran Pointe du Lac or is he dead and gone forever? No one knows anymore. Lestat, perhaps, if he glimpsed me in the blood, the real me, the man I was before Paul's death. The man who attended parties and balls, deliberately sought the companionship of others. Who was that man? That boy? That child? But I was strong then. Head of the family, master of the plantations, gentleman in society. I was never pathetic. No one ever pitied me or protected me. How have I let myself become this rag doll, tossed by the winds of Lestat's moods and buffeted by the waves of David's opinions? Good God, am I that desperate for company?'
"Hello my Beautiful One, is this seat taken?"
Louis looked up into the most gorgeous face under God. "Lestat?"
Lestat sank down beside him and looked up at Louis's tomb. "Paying respects?" He made certain that his voice was soft and without a hint of mockery.
"Something like that."
Lestat nodded. After a long pause, he ventured, "Something happened tonight."
"You finished your book." Louis answered, looking back at his tomb.
"Something happened to you, Louis."
Louis did not acknowledge this.
"David said you didn't feed last night."
Louis remained silent.
"David said he insulted you." Lestat took a breath. "I insulted you too, last night when you came to see me."
"You were working." Louis said neutrally.
"I shouldn't have been so short with you."
"It doesn't matter."
"Louis, I have missed you very much."
Louis nodded his thanks.
"Do you remember the last time we were in the Cathedral, and you told me that each risk I take hurts you? Do you remember that?"
"Of course."
"And you said you had suffered in my absence, you said it was pure hell, remember?"
"I do. Why?"
"Because I want you to know that I feel the same. I was just writing that down this evening, what we said, and I realized that I didn't tell you, and I should have."
"I believe you had other things on your mind."
"I really do know why you didn't help me."
"But you don't forgive me for it."
Lestat laughed, "I will. I just haven't gotten the full use of it yet."
"I see," Louis smiled softly.
"I wasn't myself then."
"Yes, so you said. . . .You also said that someday, when we were warm and comfortable together again, you would tell me of it. Did you put that in your book?"
"Yes, I did."
Louis looked at him a long moment, "Do you think we ever will be warm and comfortable together again?"
"But of course we will, Louis, of course we will. There really hasn't been time. I mean there was the concert, then the abduction, and then there were so many of us together and I was writing and it was just impossible. In London, I think were both too nervous and we just wanted to enjoy being together, and of course I was obsessed with David. We returned here, and you know, we separated when I was gone so much, following David and my own whims around the world. Then that disgusting body thief, and Barbados and Rio and now David wants to go to the jungles. I mean, events and circumstances simply haven't allowed for a proper setting in time for us."
Louis nodded, accepting this. "Perhaps I've had my time with you."
"What do you mean by that?" Lestat asked.
Louis shook his head, "Nothing."
"Louis, tell me what is wrong."
Louis sighed, "You told me, the last time we were here together, that you and Akasha had been lovers."
"Yes. Is that what you are upset about?"
"No. You and David are also lovers."
"Yes."
"And you referred to me as your 'old friend and lover'."
"Is this going somewhere Louis?"
"I don't know, you will have to tell me." Louis turned his head to look at Lestat. "David and I have been lovers, in the mortal sense."
Shock and disbelief registered on Lestat's face. "You what?"
Louis didn't repeat himself, but looked Lestat in the eye and nodded slowly.
"Lovers." Lestat said quietly, as if he couldn't quite understand the concept.
"Oui." Louis affirmed softly.
"You and David."
"Oui."
"In the mortal sense?"
"We did not drink."
"Oh," Lestat sat back against the neighboring tomb, somewhat relieved. "Oh, I see." Lestat looked off into space for a minute or two. Then he turned to Louis, "When?"
"Once four weeks ago, and then again last night."
"So twice."
"Oui."
Lestat looked down, his brow wrinkled, he clenched his fists. "So is he better than me?" Lestat hissed.
"Non, because I love you."
Lestat snorted, as if it were a lie.
Louis waited a beat. "But he is good, isn't he?"
Lestat laughed. He wished he hadn't but he could not help himself. The idea of Louis saying such a thing was so ludicrous. He tried to recover himself, but it was too late. He had lost the indignance. Instead he opened his mouth and the first thing on his mind came out. "You don't STILL love me, do you? Not now, not after David."
"I'll always love you, Lestat."
Lestat stared steadily into the dark green eyes of his fledgling, searching for deceit, uncertainty or mockery. He found none. "David is in love with you then?"
"Non, David loves you too."
"I don't understand."
"We have an attraction. We indulged that impulse. But we are both in love with you."
The indignance returned in a flash and quickly built to rage, "So the two of you decided to do this behind my back!"
"As you did behind ours."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Louis ticked them off on his fingers, "Akasha, some poor girl in Washington, Gretchen, David-"
"Wait, wait, wait! You hold it just a Goddamned minute, Pointe du Lac! NONE of that is even remotely similar. Akasha took ME, what was I supposed to do? You knew her strength!"
"But you gave her your heart, your love, and it was only days after you told me that we would 'have each other the way we never did in the old days'."
"What do you mean, 'gave her my love'?"
"Lestat, when Mekare severed her head-"
Lestat gave a grimace of pain which Louis ignored.
"You went to her in your heart. You thought only of her. You looked to her first. Not to me, not even to Gabrielle, but to her."
"But Louis she was dying!"
"As were we all, Lestat. Myself faster than most. I fell unconscious before her head hit the ground."
"Then how do you know my heart was with her? How do you know I looked first to her?"
"I read your book."
"Louis, there is no comparison whatsoever! And that girl, and Gretchen, I was MORTAL then! How can you possibly hold that against me?"
"I do not hold it against you Lestat. I only mean for you to face what you have done before judging us."
"Now I see, you think you can get away with this betrayal by bringing up old memories of half remembered stories, is that it?"
"Betrayal? How did we betray you, Lestat?"
"You were LOVERS! You said so yourself!"
"And so which of us is the Judas to your Christ?"
"Both, Goddamn you! BOTH!"
"Because we are both your lovers?"
"YES, OF COURSE!" Lestat shouted.
"Then who is betraying whom?"
"Don't try and confuse me with some philosophical conundrum, Louis! Speak plainly!"
"Are you betraying me with David, or betraying David with me?"
Lestat stared at him. "Louis, you and I aren't . . .I mean we don't . . .We barely even sleep together! You never drink from me! It isn't the same."
"So we are not lovers?"
"Not in the strictest sense, no!"
"That isn't what you said a moment ago."
"You are trying to confuse me! You think you can trick me into forgiving you by trapping me in my own words!"
Louis looked silently back at his name engraved in the marble. "I have told you the truth. Do what you will with it."
Lestat stared at Louis. His mind was whirling. 'Louis was upset by my affair with Akasha? But I told him and he seemed to take it fine. "Of course. I know," he said. And Gretchen and David, Louis is jealous of them? But how could that be? I never meant to hurt Louis. Well, yes, an insult here or there, maybe a cutting remark once in a while, but not hurt him that way. I never meant to break his heart. I wasn't even thinking of him when I was with Akasha or David, and certainly not when I was mortal. Louis, it was nothing deliberate against you, you didn't even enter my mind, don't you see? Besides, surely you have had other lovers too. Armand. Even if you did think I was dead. And even if I excuse that one, there must have been others afterward. After you think you saw me in my little house, or after Armand told you about me or whatever happened. You don't mean for me to think you were alone all those decades that I was underground. . . .but of course you were, weren't you? All that time. Oh God, how many decades? What did you tell Daniel? 'I was dead and I was changeless.' 'A veil separated me from all living things. A veil that was a shroud.' 'I wanted to be where there was nothing familiar to me and nothing mattered.' Empty.' Lestat started to sob. He hadn't meant to, he didn't want to, but it was uncontrollable. Horrible wrenching sobs which were ripped from his soul.
Louis jumped in surprise at the sound and then looked to Lestat. He was at once overcome with worry. "Lestat, cheri, don't cry." He took his maker in his arms.
Lestat didn't pull away, but seemed to lean towards him, so Louis suspected he wasn't necessarily crying over the pain caused by David and himself. 'It could be anything. It could be many things, God knows, he has been through enough.'
"Shhh, mon cher, it's alright." Louis pulled him closer and laid the blond head on his shoulder. He laid his own head on top of it. "It's alright Lestat, hush."
Lestat held Louis as tightly as he dared and cried his heart out. He cried for himself, for Louis, for David and the choice he had made for him, for Claudia, for Gretchen. He cried again that Louis had refused to help him. He cried that he almost killed him for it in the Cathedral, that he thought of it and truly could have done it while he was still a bit crazed. He cried more for himself, how everything seemed to happen to him and yet it was still always his fault. It made sense sometimes and then again it did not. He cried and cried.
Louis held him and rocked him and whispered all of those sweet endearments in his Creole French that Lestat so loved to hear.
Lestat shook and wailed and let the hysteria overtake him. Louis held fast and did what he could to soothe him and to calm him. Anyone with the misfortune to be passing by that cemetery during the next few hours would have heard the unearthly and unforgettable sounds of immortal grief.
Hours later, Louis shoulder, indeed his entire shirt, was soaked with Lestat's tears. Lestat had cried himself to sleep. Dawn was no more than forty minutes away. Louis stood up with Lestat in his arms. Though Louis wasn't nearly as strong as Lestat, the ancient blood had converted Lestat's body to something lighter than muscle and bone, so he was no burden at all. Louis carried Lestat home to their town house in the Rue Royale.
David met them at the door, "Good Lord! What happened?"
"Lestat wept," Louis said, simply.
David was reminded of John chapter 11, verse 35 "Jesus wept". He thought it fitting.
Louis carried Lestat upstairs, "David, viens."
David closed the door hurriedly and followed.
Louis went into Lestat's room, followed by David. "Pull back the bedcovers and then bring me a damp cloth and a dry towel, would you please, David?"
David nodded. He pulled back the covers and helped Louis remove Lestat's shoes before resting him on the sheets. Then David went to Lestat's bathroom for the cloth and towel.
Louis arranged Lestat's limbs more comfortably. Lestat's eyes fluttered open.
"Louis?"
"Je suis ici, Lestat. We are home now. Relax, it is almost dawn."
Lestat's eyelids slowly closed and his breathing resumed it's slow pattern. Louis removed Lestat's clothing which was damp from all of the crying. David returned and handed Louis the cloth and towel.
"I'll find some pajamas for him," David said.
"Merci," Louis answered. He wiped Lestat's face clean of tear streaks and dried it.
David brought a pair of white pajamas made of very thin flannel to the bed and dressed Lestat in these. "May I ask what happened?"
"I told him about our activities." Louis said evenly.
"HOLY HELL, Louis! He could have killed you!"
Louis smiled softly and took David's hand. "Non, I pointed out that we were simply following his example."
"And he cried over that?"
Louis looked back to Lestat, and reached to pull the bedcovers up around his maker, "I think it was many things."
David went around the room making certain it was secure from the sunlight, then walked back and stood on the left side of the bed across from Louis. The sun was rapidly approaching.
"David," Louis said, "I reacted badly to your apology. I do accept it."
"Thank you, Louis. I want you to know that I do realize how terribly out of line I was."
Louis bent and kissed Lestat's forehead, David did the same. They straightened and looked at each other over the bed.
"So he knows about us," David said.
"He does."
"And neither of us is dead."
"Apparently not . . .well, no more than before, at any rate."
The coming dawn and the unusual circumstance gave them both the same idea, and each could see in the other's eyes that he was thinking it too. Simultaneously, they slipped off their shoes, pulled back the covers and fell into the bed on either side of Lestat.
Ruling Rue Royale - Chapter Nine
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